Kristy Lee “blow you out of your socks” Coook has survived once again! Cocks, Skunkhead and the Irish chick were in the bottom 3 and I was on my knees praying to the reality TV Gods that Cockface would finally be sent to the glue factory. It wasn’t so and Skunkhead had to take the bullet. When Skunkhead was announced as the one going home, my first thought was “someone is going to get trashed tonight!” I must come to terms with the fact that Cockface will most likely be around for a long ass time. Every season there’s always that one oatmeal skank that just won’t go away.

Goodnight Skunkhead! I’m sure we’ll see you really soon in another mugshot or in an ad campaign for Jim Beam whiskey.

Gaycrest also announced some of the upcoming idol mentors last night which include Dolly Parton, Mimi, Andrew Lloyd Webber and Neil Diamond. FUCK! The last thing we need is some raccoon voice screwing up Cracklin’ Rosie!

South Park devoted an episode to Britney Spears last night. In the episode, Brit tries to escape the paparazzi by camping out in South Park. The South Park boys find out Brit’s in town and trick their way into her motel room by pretending to be SPF and JJ. She shoots herself in the head when she realizes that she will never be left alone. She survives, but the top of her head is missing.

She goes on to perform at a music awards show where the media makes fun of her for being fat and for having a camel toe, but don’t really mention the fact that she has no head. The South Park boys decide to help Britney by taking her to the North Pole. The paparazzi mob follows and confesses they won’t stop until she is dead. The cartoon Brit finally dies and we learn the real truth on why everyone wants her dead. Brit must be sacrificed in order for there to be a good harvest. The episode ends with the people finding their next sacrificial lamb…Miley Cyrus.

The entire episode is above, but it’s like 20 minutes long. It’s sort of funny, but I don’t think it was meant to be laugh-out-loud funny. It’s all about the message and corn. Mmmmmmm…..corn…..

VIA Funny or Die

Winona Ryder was arrested 6 years ago for stealing a bunch of shit from Saks Fifth Avenue in Beverly Hills. She was sentenced to 3 years probation and community service. Has she struck again? The National Enquirer (via DM) claims Winona was leaving a CVS Pharmacy in Hollywood when the security alarm went off. Winona kept walking. A security guard went after Winona and searched her bags. He found a bunch of make-up she didn’t pay for. She apparently told him, “I don’t know how that happened.” Spoken like a true klepto. My favorite part of “Cops” episodes is when the crazy crackhead always says to the police how they don’t know why that baggie of heroin got in their bag. The heroin fairy put it there!

A store employee confirmed that Winona took shit. They said, “We took unpaid items back and she left the store.” Winona’s rep denied the story at first, but said she would double check when the Enquirer told her an employee confirmed it.

It’s a requirement in Hollywood to have some sort of fucked up addiction. You can either be a crackhead, boozer, sex addict or klepto! If this is true then I’m really disappointed with CVS and won’t be shopping there anymore. They had their chance to get the bitch arrested with their store name splattered across every newspaper. Winona Ryder getting arrested at the CVS for stealing a little Bonne Bell would have made my day. I will never forgive them.

Thanks Mike

It’s an airbrushed to hell JLo with her twins, Max & Emme, on the cover of People Magazine! This is what $6 million (allegedly) gets you! The new issue hits stands tomorrow and promises 12 pages of JLo, Skeletor and their babies. People made a good call and kept Skeletor off the cover. This isn’t a Halloween issue. They also take us inside the twins’ nursery? Which one? I bet you anything JLo had a fake nursery made up, so she doesn’t look that crazy. The real nursery is covered in solid gold, diamonds, furs and elephant ivory.

It’s always hilarious when celebrities put their newborn babies in magazines. Babies pretty much look all the same at that age.

They probably went with this picture, because every time JLo went to hold them they started crying. Well, I’m sure this is like the third time she’s seen them! They want the nanny.

It appears the ostrich cloning facility had a pervert running around. – NitWitty

Runner-up:

So WHAT if I’ve got a little Jack in my coke?! Okay??? You should see what I’ve got in my tights bitch! – City Barbie

Thanks Jodi