Miley Cyrus got her own wax figure at Madam Tussauds in NYC today. She’s really made it! It looks just like her. I wonder where they got the jumbo chiclets from. Well, the girl’s got big big ass teefs! It’s a blessing. She can probably eat a whole row of corn in one swoop. Only the heavens above will give you that kind of gift.

Little children that worship Miley Cyrus scare me. I know a few of them. They throw me the evil side eye the minute I start to say anything negative about her. I usually don’t say another word. I’ve seen the Twilight Zone and I’m not about to be wished into the cornfield.

The Blemish has discovered the video from where the supposed grainy picture of Lindsay Lohan sucking dick came from. It’s not Lindsay Lohan on the video or in the picture. Fakery!

The shitty picture has been making the rounds with the rumor that Calum Best used his cell phone to record Linds giving his dick a tongue bath. The video from where the pic came from was added to XTube 2 months ago and there’s a couple of other clips to go with it. The girl on the clip still sort of look like her, but I guess all bleach blonde sluts look the same when they are sucking dick.

Let this be a warning Linds! Check for cameras the next time you’re sucking dick (she’s probably doing it right now). It could happen to you.

Click here to see the video, but it’s extremely NSFW. Click on the two additional clips below it to for a clearer shot of Not-Lindsay’s face. My brain is on fire trying to figure out what the hell he’s watching on TV. I care more about that.

The ads on XTube make me nauseous. I really don’t want to see cum coming out of an asshole at 4 in the afternoon. Shhh! I know what you were going to say! Shush it!

Why must the Simpson women insist on making their lips look like inflamed anal glands? I’m guessing Papa Joe makes them do it. He’s always struck me as an asshole kind of man.

Here’s Asshole lunching with friends yesterday and by “lunching” I mean she had a piece of bread and a lemon water.

Steve-O has left the looney bin and is now in rehab seeking treatment. He has taken to his MySpace to write a long ass blog about how he got into booze and drugs. They have computers in rehab? They didn’t have computers on “Celebrity Rehab!” This must be the special kind of rehab where you can check your e-mail and do drugs in the bathroom. Steve-O’s post is longer than Paris Hilton’s hook nose, but here’s some of it:

“I know I was always powerless over alcoholism, because it had such a grip on Mom’s adulthood and my childhood, and I never chose to fight it.”

“We were frequently on airplanes and, before Mom and Dad would find themselves in the embarrassing position of being caught by other passengers with a crying baby, I was fed alcohol. Obviously I don’t have recollections from the time when I was a baby, so this account is pieced together from vague memories of being told stories that are
similar or exactly the same. Mom’s alcoholism truly reared its ugly head when I was eight and nine years old, it was in 1983 that she lied to the family about having lymph node cancer so that she would have an explanation for staying in bed drunk at all hours.”

“I can’t believe I just called out my own dead Mom for what’s surely the worst
lie she ever told. I also can’t believe I ever picked up my first drink on my own after the way alcohol ruined her life. God, I miss my Mom.”

“All you fucking things are good for is dying. I’m not ready to die. I’m ready to live. I’m ready to breathe (properly, even). I’m ready to fall in love. I’m ready
to become ready to start a family. I’m ready to be happy, fulfilled and meaningful. Maybe I’ll see you fukkers if and/or when I’m ready to die.”

Rehab really does bring out the deep shit in you. Here I thought rehab was just a place to meet hot dudes and have sex in the storage room. It sounds like he’s working the steps by writing on MySpace. How fucking…douchey? Hopefully, he will get well, get married, get the 3-bedroom house with the white picket fence and completely disappear. My only advice to Steve-O is to move out of Hollywood.

Giving booze to babies is ok as long as it’s top shelf bourbon with a little leche. Joooooooking. My uncle used to give him Tecate all the time when I was a child. That explains a lot.

Beyonce & Mama Knowles need to stay away from the children – Crunk + Disorderly

Kendra Wilkinson is trying to start her own wardrobe malfunction – Hollywood Tuna

This is what Naomi Watts gets to bang – Just Jared

Tara Reid is drunk in an airport (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Ryan Phillipe’s new arm tattoo – Popsugar

Kate Beckinsale isn’t wearing any underwear – Egotastic!

Pamela Anderson’s slut break – Hollywood Rag

The world of Uncle Dirty – Cityrag

Johnny Depp is John Dillinger – IDLYITW

This is what Rihanna gets to bang – A Socialite’s Life

I should have told you this yesterday, but there’s still time for you to make a TJ Maxx run. Today has been declared “Sweater Day” to celebrate what would have been Mr. Rogers’ 80th Birthday.

Mc. McFeely has asked that everyone wear a sweater today! He said, “We’re asking everyone everywhere — from Pittsburgh to Paris — to wear their favorite sweater on that day. It doesn’t have to have a zipper down the front like the one Mister Rogers wore on the program, it just has to be special to you.”

Go ahead, put on a sweater. Do it for Daniel Tiger!