Richie Sambora was arrested for DUI last night in Laguna Beach, CA so says TMZ. Cops pulled him over before 11pm after they noticed he was driving fucked up in his black Hummer. In his defense, Hummers seem fucking impossible to drive.

Richie entered rehab last year and was said to be doing well.

Just blame Denise Richards for this. It’s the logical thing to do.

His mugshot makes me sad. Richie, you give sobriety a bad name.

The minute I read Kristy Lee Cook was doing “God Bless The USA,” I knew what that bitch was up to. She obviously didn’t come up with this brilliant move herself. You’re not an American unless you vote for Cocks. UGH!!! Last week, she told Simon “I will blow you out of your socks.” She probably lived up to her promise and Simon gave her the tip as she was wiping his juice off her mouth. Damn that Simon!

I’m surprised the bitch didn’t come out wearing an American flag bikini with fireworks shooting out of her cunt. Once this ho finally gets voted out, she’ll have a career performing this little diddy at every NRA convention from Bakersfield to Poughkeepsie.

Cocks will not be in the bottom 3 this week since she practically gave a hand job to every redneck Idol voter. Here’s my predicted bottom:

Ramiele – She went first, she sang Heart and she sucked. Even the “sick card” can’t save her!
Chikezie – Chickezie was chik-cheeeesy as hell last night.
Jason Castro – He’ll be the surprise of the night and this will be his slap on the wrist to do better next time.

I think Ramiele will be voted out and Danny Noriega’s screams of pain will deafen the night. Weren’t they like best girlfriends forever?

And WTF was Paula wearing last night? I think Skunk Head Overmyer attacked her in the parking lot before the show.

Image: Popbytes

Amy Wino is reportedly set to return to rehab for the ten millionth time. Wino’s management wants to transport her crack ass overseas to get help. Wino has asked for their help and knows she needs rehab.

A source told The Sun, “There are too many temptations for her in the UK — people around her in London are making it impossible for her to stay clean for any length of time. Her management had considered flying her to a clinic in Israel but are now looking further afield. They are assessing a clinic in Cape Town in South Africa.”

I don’t care if they send that girl to a rehab facility on the moon, she’s not going to get better until she dumps Blaaaaaake. He’s her cocaine.

If Wino stays with Blaaake, the only way to get her clean is to give the bitch an autopsy. She needs to have her blood drained and her organs cleaned out. She’s hardcore crack dirty.

The Sun also asked a doctor about Wino’s alleged “impetigo” face. He said, “THE BITCH HAS CRACK FACE!!!” No…he said, “The damage is quite severe, but not unusual with crack cocaine abuse. She’s got a number of sores, some of which look infected, and others that have formed ulcers.”

Proactiv should come out with a “crack face” edition. They would make a killing on Wino alone.

Ryan Phillipe has admitted that he sort of has a hard time seeing his ex-wife Reese Witherspoon with Jakey Poo. Ryan does whatever it takes to avoid the pictures. He told USA Today, “It’s bizarre. There’s plenty of times when I say, ‘What a strange situation I’ve found myself in,’ But at a certain point you know it’s going to happen, so you are prepared.”

I’m sure Jakey Poo also thinks to himself what a “strange situation” he’s in when Reese’s labia is inches from his lips.

It’s a bizarre sight to all of us. It’s not strange seeing them together, because they look like two best girlfriends going to lunch and shopping. It’s strange thinking of them doing sexy times. They probably just lay there, giggle, give up and then watch “Maid to Order.” I bet you Jakey Poo looooooves Maid to Order.

Ryan was also asked about his relationship with Abbie Cornish, but he refused to address it. He isn’t ruling out marriage though, “I’m pretty young, and there are many beautiful things about that idea of marriage and family. It just doesn’t always work out perfect for everybody.”

Nope. Sometimes your ex ends up with the richer, more talented and more famous homo. Life is crazy that way.

VIA People

The wrath of Tameka Foster has returned! She was in remission for a while, because she had a baby. The bitch is back. It all started when Tameka found out that the gorgeous Keri Hilson was going to be in Usher’s new video. Keri was handpicked by Usher.

Tameka reportedly tried hard to keep Keri’s level of beauty to a minimum. A source told Page Six, “Even in rehearsals she was weird and clearly not happy that Keri is so gorgeous. Tameka threw a lot of attitude. The day of the shoot, Tameka dressed Keri very badly – she looked like an extra. Tameka wouldn’t let Keri have her hairdresser there – she had to use the hairdresser who was doing the extras.”

Tameka also banned Usher’s longtime choreographer, Jamaica, from the set. Tameka has had issues with Jamaica in the past.

Usher’s manager, Benny Medina, said, “Keri could not have been happier with Tameka’s choices in the styling, hair and makeup . . . Jamaica was flown out and arrived a day late to do Keri’s choreography, and was on-set at all times. The shoot itself went brilliantly.”

It’s nice to see that Tameka’s rage is back. I’ve been missing it.

Tameka needs to stop, chill and spend some of her husband’s money. Tameka has the man and the baby, so her future earnings have already been figured out. What she really needs to do is start negotiating with People Magazine for her baby pictures. Where the hell is her $3 million baby picture deal? Tameka, step it up!

Stop worrying about the petty shit in life and start worrying about the important shit….MONEY!