Bitches on the set of the “Star Trek” movie were surprised to see Tommy Girl visiting the other day. This sparked rumors that he would possibly be making a cameo in the film. Please. Homegirl’s every day life is a Stark Trek movie. A source told MSNBC’s The Scoop that Tommy visited the set to chat with J.J. Abrams and he will not be in the movie. That sucks. He would have made a supersexy Yeoman Janice Rand.

Tommy also was there, because he desperately wanted to meet Leonard Nimoy. A source said, “He asked J.J. if there’s a way he can meet Leonard Nimoy. He said he’d always really respected his work.”

Tommy was probably squirting up a storm at the thought of meeting Dr. Spock himself. Tommy wore his prized Spock underoos and asked Leonard if he would come to his office to “talk about a possible role in one of his films.” You know how that ended for Katie.

I’m sure Tommy also wanted to talk to the set designer about recreating the set in his Scientology dungeon. Role-playing fun!

Star Magazine found some pictures of George Clooney’s newest call girl girlfriend, Sarah Larson, acting all slutty in Vegas last year. That’s what you do when you’re in Vegas. You act slutty, drink till your liver falls out and eat until your throat gets raw.

Before Sarah was wearing couture and sucking Clooney dick, she was working in Vegas.

A friend said, “She’s even been described as having a successful runway and print modeling career. But until recently, her modeling career consisted mostly of being paid by promoters for clubs, magazines and radio stations to attend special events in sexy outfits and party with her wild girlfriends!”

Click here to see another picture of Sarah with her ass in the air and licking a magazine. I did that same pose for my Christmas card last year. When asked about the pictures, her friend said, “That’s our Sarah! She’s not shy in the slightest. She loves hamming it up and is never embarrassed. That’s the Sarah everyone in Vegas remembers, not the girl dressed in Valentino minding her manners for the cameras with George at the Oscars!”

That’s our Sarah! We’re used to seeing her being a slutty whore not a Valentino-clad lady!

I love Sarah, because she gives hope to all the dirty sluts out there. Including you and me. Today, I may be drowning in my own tears after a night of lubed-up debauchery, but tomorrow I could be walking down the red carpet with George Clooney. And by “George Clooney” I mean Phoebe Price. And by “red carpet” I mean Robertson Blvd.

Steve O snorting white shit off some skank’s leg – Celebitchy

Christian Siriano declares that “fierce” is out and “expired” is in – Towleroad

John Mayer blogs from the fart – I’m Not Obsessed

The new X-Files 2 trailer – Popoholic

Kevin Spacey is a bad influence – ICYDK

Jodie Marsh has new chichis – Holy Moly!

Whale + Dolphin = Wolphin – SAYOR

Or is it perspiration to us all? Parasite Hilton held a press conference in Turkey to talk about what a skank slut she is. Paris defended herself against the “media lies” and thinks she’s a good role model to little girls.

She said, “I don’t pay attention to lies because I am a good person. I work very hard and I’ve built this empire on my own. I think this is an inspiration for a lot of girls out there.”

Hold up! Who answered this question? Paris or her vagina? Paris’ vagina is the only thing that’s working hard for the money. Come on Paris! Give your pussy a little credit. It’s starting to cry red tears of blood. That might be an infection, but it could also be you hurting its feelings. Poor pussaaaay.

Oh and that baby isn’t sleeping, it’s fallen into a coma from Paris’ toxic skank. Luckily, they gave baby some Valtrex and it’s healthy again.

Source: OK! Magazine

Audrina Partridge, the Himalyan-kitty-faced bitch from The Hills, made a big show out of getting some crappy tattoo yesterday in Los Angeles. Two lame words: Pop Fiction. Anytime I see some wannabe doing something slightly interesting in front of the cameras, I automatically think it’s Ashton’s doing. What’s next on Pop Fiction? Chrissy Crocker getting a back alley sex change? Ashton is saving that for sweeps.

The tattoo dude is sort of sexy. I bet he has one of those split cocks that’s put back together with rings. I’ve always wanted to fuck with those, but it would probably shred my asshole up beyond recognition. Shut up! It is recognizable now! Well….if you’re drunk and not wearing your eye glasses.

Below is a video from Hollywood.tv of Audrina in motion. It’s just about as exciting as Audrina not in motion. Just stare at your oatmeal. It will give you a bigger rush.

Rikki Rockett, the drummer for Poison, was arrested at LAX on a rape warrant issued from Mississippi. Rikki was performing with the group in New Zealand and was just getting off a flight. Talk about major jetlag. Get off a 34 million hour flight and get arrested. His ears were probably still plugged up. I wonder if they let him pee first. I always have to pee after landing. ANYWAYS!

46-year-old Rikki was arrested on Monday, taken to jail, booked and it looks like he has been released since then. The LA Daily News reports that no details were given about the rape warrant.

Rikki worked as a hairdresser, lifeguard, dishwasher, Emergency Medical Technician and a suit salesman before started Poison with Bret Michaels in the 1980s.

Rape charge in Mississippi? If convicted, he’s totally going to get the death penalty. They are hardcore down there! Shit, they will probably issue a public stoning.

I guess this means Rikki is not going to star in Rock of Love 3?