Scott Weiland’s craziness is too intense for Velvet Revolver, so they’ve kicked his hot ass out of the band! He must be in tears. I’ll give him a butt cheek to cry on. Well, he’s a hot piece and the crazy ones are always stars in the sack. VR issued this press release:

“This band is all about its fans and its music and Scott Weiland isn’t 100% committed to either. Among other things, his increasingly erratic onstage behavior and personal problems have forced us to move on.”

I would like to submit a list of possible replacements: Danny Noriega, La Pequena, Mimi La Rue and Phoebe Price.

Speaking of PP, I kind of want to paint a watercolor of her on Scott Weiland’s chest in that picture above. His rib cage looks like PP’s chicken cutlets!

Madonna is practically chained to her Blackberry and she even sleeps with it at night. She told Elle Magazine that even Guy sleeps with his.

She said, “We lie right next to each other with our BlackBerrys under our pillows. It’s not unromantic. It’s practical. I’m sure loads of couples have their BlackBerrys in bed with them. I have to sleep with my BlackBerry because I often wake up in the middle of the night and remember that I’ve forgotten something, so I jump up and make notes. Guy’s always waiting for me to come to bed, so he plays Brick on his Blackberry until I’m ready.”

It was probably Guy’s idea. He keeps his between his crotch and he uses hers to call himself over and over again. It’s the only way he can get a little hot action, because you know she stopped putting out years ago. She saves her open vagina for photoshoots and magazine covers.

And how do their Blackberrys stay in one place while they sleep. They must sleep like corpses. I wear a sleeping mask (SHUT UP) every night and it’s usually around my ankle when I wake up in the morning.

Madonna went on to talk about a song on her new album called “Incredible.” One of the songs lyrics is, “sex with you is incredible.” Yeah, I’m sure every songwriter in the world is kicking themselves wishing they came up with that “incredible” lyric. Anyway, Madonna confesses the song is about Guy.

She said, “Sex with Guy is incredible … And surprise, surprise, it’s his favorite song on the album. Actually, maybe it’s not his favorite song, but it’s definitely his favorite line.”

Leave it to Madonna to use her sex life to plug a song.

Source

The gay will come out tomorrow! Jimmy Kimmel and Richard Simmons make a video – Towleroad

Dita Von Teese says stripping is hard work – I’m Not Obsessed

The demons keep chasing Wino – Mollygood

Whoever is making Posh’s hideous wax figures is my new hero – Popbytes

Kate Bosworth boozes through her sex scenes – Celebitchy

The Sex & the City hags hate each other – ICYDK

Turkey baster baby! Sporty Spice is trying to get pregnant – Holy Moly!

Last night was a hard American Idol for me. Listening to Dolly Parton songs being murdered took a toll on my dark soul. It was like being attacked with a staple gun over and over again.

I really have no idea who is going home this week. I knew that Kristy Likes Cocks was going to sing “Coat of Many Colors.” More like cunt of many colors! I think that song is going to keep her from going home.

This bitch is turning into my neighborhood crackhead. Every day when I leave my apartment, I say a little prayer hoping the neighborhood crackhead is nowhere to be seen. Deep down I know she will be there and I know she will open her mouth full of grey teeth and ask me for “25 cents or a quarter.” Seriously, bitch actually asks for “25 cents or a quarter.” One day I’m just going to blow up and say, “YOU CRACKHEAD BITCH! 25 cents is a quarter! But you need more than that to fix your overcast teefs!” What I’m saying is that Kristy Lee will be on Idol every week even though I pray she isn’t. It’s the truth. Here’s my bottom 3:

Ramiele – The puppy dog eye trick has overstayed its welcome.
Kristy Lee – Back where she belongs, but she won’t go home.
Brooke White – I have no idea why I chose her, but it was either her or Jason Castro.

Ramiele is going home and just like Chikezie before her, she’ll be taking a bullet for Kristy Lee.

Oh and below is Kristy Lee showing off her amazing butcher skills. Skip to the end to see Gaycrest say to her, “Love the French pedicure.” Next week he is going to tell Syesha, “Girrrrrl, your hair is looking ferociously fiiierrrrce!”

Thanks Brandy

American Idol’s David Cook spent most of his Tuesday night inside a hospital after experiencing heart palpitations and high blood pressure shortly after he performed Dolly Parton’s “Little Sparrow.” TMZ reports that DC was released a few hours, but that he’s still not completely 100%.

DC was not feeling well earlier in the day and the Idol medics told him his blood pressure was too high and he should go to the hospital. DC decided to wait it out. After the show, he was driven to a private doctor who gave him some meds. David, keep those pills away from Paula! She’ll try and seduce you for them, but don’t fall for her tricks!

A source told TMZ that the strains of the competition and family health issues could be the reason for David’s high blood pressure. David’s brother is suffering from cancer and reportedly had a setback.

On a happier DC note, his hair looked hot last night. He finally took some scissors to that combover.

Click here to see DC’s performance last night

TMZ also reports that Ryan Gaycrest had issues of his own last night. He apparently ran into a wall and busted his knee. He was given ice packs and wobbled through the show. The dudes at Gaycrest’s local glory hole are probably lighting “get well soon” candle for his knee.

And if that wasn’t enough reality show health drama! Derek Hough (HO) from Dancing with the Stars was also taken to the hospital last night for a neck injury. Wait…Gaycrest has a busted knee and Derek has a busted neck? 69 gone wrong!

Image: Rickey.Org

Heather Mills has given Paul McCartney yet another reason to wish he had never fallen for her peg-legged charms. Paul is currently romancing Nancy Shevell, but the relationship will not last if Heather gets her way. Heather is afraid that Paul might start a new family with Nancy and brush their daughter, Beatrice, to the side. Heather is also planning to call Nancy to warn her about Paul.

A source told Showbiz Spy, “Heather’s threatening to call and explain the dangers of dating a Beatle. She had hell with the public hating her and reckons Nancy could too. Heather genuinely thinks she’s doing Nancy a good turn.”

Nancy and Paul recently came back from a vacation in Antigua and Heather was livid! “She went ballistic when she found out. She’s also terrified they’re planning a baby – even though Nancy’s not far off 50 – and thinks another child will detract from Beatrice.”

Cock blocking Mills! She kills a relationship faster than an unplanned pregnancy!

Nancy needs to keep all her pets inside and turn off all her phones lines. I’m getting a “Fatal Attraction” vibe from this. Heather is just like Alex Forrest, but without the awesome hair and extra leg.

Here’s Nancy in NYC last night. Poor bitch doesn’t know what’s coming. Run and hide!