On last night’s I Know My Kid’s A Star, the natural beauty of the house, Rocky, decided she was going to cut her hair, so she won’t outshine her daughter. In a scene that was very reminiscent of Legend of Billie Jean, Rocky cut her hair in the mirror unveiling a whole new woman. Not really, she still looked like she on the wrong Vh1 reality show. The woman belongs on Rock of Love.

Rocky came downstairs to show everybody her new look. That’s when Gigi asked her if she “cut her weave.” Rocky denied it, but that didn’t stop Gigi from running upstairs and checking the trash can for discarded rat weave.. Gigi showed Rocky what she had found, but Rocky still denied it. Gigi felt triumphant, but looked like a raving idiot. Matlock she is not.

It was obviously a weave, but who gives pussy’s ass?! Gigi is just jealous that she doesn’t have Rocky’s $2 beauty!

It pains me to do this, but I must bow my head and whisper a final farewell to Jordan. It seems just like yesterday, when I first fell in love with her plastic watermelons, apricot skin, gumball eyes and Barbie weave. Who is this Katie Price and what has she done with the sophisticated and elegant Jordan?

I look at her and I can’t help but hear the song “Leave me alone” in my head. She looks like she just finished making a batch of Jesus Juice and feeding her pet chimp. Jacko in cheap bonzer is what she’s become.

Hopefully Harvey will mistake her for a giant caramel swizzle stick and eat her whole.

Here’s Katie Price, sigh, and her gay in shades out shopping in London.

Now’s your chance. Push her! – Egotastic!

Squinty Zellweger is looking hot….from the neck down – Just Jared

Megan Fox giving you the finger – Hollywood Tuna

Avril Lavigne thinks Montreal is in Ontario – IDLYITW

Andy Baldwin and Marla Maples’ posed beach candids (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

How Orlando met Miranda’s parents – Popsugar

50 Cent wants his own son evicted – Hollywood Rag

Paris Hilton’s non-human look-alikes – Cityrag

Jessica Simpson is out of the hospital and looks it – A Socialite’s Life

Shakira’s sex tape we never heard of was an April Fool’s joke – Guanabee

ScarJo’s debut album “Anywhere I Lay My Head” is due out May 20th. It’s comprised mostly of Tom Waits cover with only one original song called “Song for Jo.” It’s going to give you an ear infection. You can probably count on that. This is the album cover and I’m disappointed.

All they needed to do was keep it simple and use a close-up shot of ScarJo’s rack! That’s where most men, women, children, animals and inanimate objects want to lay their head for the rest of eternity.

It looks like a glory hole in the woods.

David Blaine will try to go 13 days without sleeping in a bid to break the world record. The awe-inspiring Keith Richards has a little advice for David….don’t do it!

Keith managed to stay awake for 9 days in the 1970s thanks to a party mix of narcotics. Keith ended up breaking his nose. I’m sure his nose was grateful for finally being put out of its coke snorting misery.

He said, “On the ninth day I was putting a tape into a tape deck. In 0.3 of a second I fell asleep and crashed headfirst into a JVC speaker, smashing my nose apart. I just lay there and let it bleed. It was a chemical thing.”

Keith is lying. He never fell asleep. Zombies don’t sleep.

Screw Blaine and his stupid stunts! The bitch doesn’t have shit on Toilet Lady! If he really wanted to show off his skills, he would try to beat the world’s toilet sitting record. It would be a win for all of us, because we wouldn’t have to see his ass (literally) for at least 2 years.

Source: SFGate

This Wino look-a-like stood outside her home yesterday hoping to get some attention or something. Stupid slut! She looks nothing like Wino! Bitch, fish out your report card from your purse. I need to write a big F on that shit with a red sharpie!

I’ll give you a real Wino look-a-like! Just give me a skeleton, a Freddy Krueger mask and Pete Burns’ old gorilla coat. VOILA! Instant Wino.

Wino was up to her old crack tricks again last night. She stood outside her house several times waiting for friends to come over. Mark Ronson and Blake II showed up. All she’s missing is a house coat and a broom. Wino looks like your crazy neighborhood lady that will throw lemons at you for crossing her property line.