This Will Haunt My Dreams

/ April 6, 2008

There’s nothing creepier than a masked troll! The Olsens are going to come out of your walls tonight to steal your breath. If this happens, ask them what 2+2 is! Trolls are dumb fucks and easily tricked!

Ashley and Mary-Kate joined a group of masked ladies as they made their way through the streets of Los Angeles collecting the souls of children. No, they were part of some wedding party and apparently didn’t want to be photographed, so they wore masks. This is the same wedding She-Hulk and Justin went to.

It might not be such a bad thing if this mask trend sweeps Hollywood. At least we won’t have to see their fugly faces and hear their annoying voices anymore. Wait….then what will I make fun of? Scratch that.

Here’s a video and some more pics of these creepy trolls! I also included a masked picture of Tom Cruise in Vanilla Sky. It’s totally where they got their inspiration from.

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Knocked Up Ladies

/ April 6, 2008

Two very different knocked up ladies were out and about with their families yesterday. One is probably going to pop out a furry litter of 6 and the other one needs to stop doing this pregnancy thing, so she can work on the new No Doubt album. Come on Gwennie. I need a sequel to “Don’t Speak” called “I Really Mean It. STFU!” She promised.

I also have a disgusting confession to make. I actually spent money on Tori Smelly’s book. I couldn’t fucking help it. The back of the book featured a picture of Mimi La Rue asking me to “buy this book.” I can’t say no to Mimi.

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Hot Slut Of The Week: Meagan Taylor

/ April 6, 2008

Birthday: January 16, 1989
Age: 18
Birth Name: Meagan Taylor

Original Date of HS of the Day: April 5, 2008
Claim to Fame: Meagan is a student at Queen’s University in Canada. The rumor is that daddy gave her $1,000,000 and she used it to put out a song and video in Panama called “Rojo Caliente.” Some have called it the worst video and song ever.

Where is she now? Hopefully, daddy gave her more cash and she’s working on her follow-up!

Why is she HS of the Week? When asked if her music gives a good message, she answered, “I wrote the song about my red hair which is what rojo caliente…red hot….I never used to like having red hair. I felt different and like I always wanted brown hair or blonde hair or something. For me it was a celebration of my red hair and to me that’s important. It’s a celebration of differences.

Interview below:

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82 And Looking Hot

/ April 6, 2008

Does Viagra make you more tolerant? How the hell does Hef do it? Spending your 82nd Birfday surrounded by a bunch of noisy hos in a Las Vegas club does not sound pleasant. My 82nd Birfday will be spent in bed with a warm compress, a bottle of moonshine and a box of Little Debbie zebra cakes.

Hef celebrated year 82 with Kendra, Holly and Bridget at Palms Casino last night in Vegas. He sort of looks like he’s ready for sleepytimes and a warm compress. Put pepaw to bed!

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Still Together

/ April 6, 2008

Jessica Biel and Justin Timberlake are still two dykes in love. The two attended some wedding in Los Angeles last night and came out hand-in-hand. You know she-hulk’s grip is killing Justin inside. She doesn’t know her own strength. He wants to cry so badly, but he’s keeping it together for the cameras. Justin is used to it. Biel probably works that strap-on like a champ. Even cokie on Justin’s hole can’t ease the pain. The bitch is a trooper.

Tobey Maguire, Jason Bateman, Scott Speedman and Eva Mendes also attended last night. This shit looked like a funeral! They were all wearing black. It makes sense. You’re mourning the bride and groom’s slut days. Sad.

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Thandie With A Gap

/ April 6, 2008

Thandie Newton will play that hot bitch Condoleezza Rice in the Oliver Stone’s W. Ioan Gruffudd has also joined the cast as Tony Blair.

The shit show starts shooting very soon and will follow Dubya’s path to the Presidency as well as his life in the White House. No, it’s not a comedy.

The cast also includes Josh Brolin (Dubya), Elizabeth Banks (Laura Bush), James Cromwell (Bush Sr.) and Ellen Burstyn (Barbara). The key roles of Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and Karl Rove has yet to be cast. Too bad Larry, Moe and Curly aren’t alive anymore. These are the roles they were born to play.

I have a feeling that this movie is going to be a camp classic! Not since Showgirls.….. It’s going to be a major BOMB. Pun intended.

Janet Jackson should play Condi. It’s pretty obvious. The Stone really dropped the pudding on that one.

Source: The Hollywood Reporter

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