Angelique From “Rock Of Love 2” Can Be Yours…

/ April 8, 2008

Remember Frenchy from Rock of Love 2? She’s the classy French broad who got kicked off way too soon. She made the other skanks look like innocent debutantes. Well, our affair with her was cut short, but now that can be fixed. You can win a date with her on eBay! Starting bid is only $2,500! The description reads:

Frenchy for “Rock of Love 2” can be your date anywhere in the country. She could host your special event, caddy your golf game, dinner and a movie or just show up at your work.

This type of auction has never been done before as we normaly book these celebritys in night clubs and special events.

Winning bidder would be required to sign the standard :Artist Engagement Agreement, provide one R/T coach class ticket from Las Vegas and provide all local ground transportation and hotel accomodation at a 4 star or better hotel.

The apperance must be complete within 3 months of winning the auction.

Check out her web sites at:

www.myspace.com/angeliquemorgan

eBay has become an escort service now? 2500 clams for that rotten clam?! Does it come with a free doctor’s visit? Don’t get me wrong, Frenchy is the baguette of my life, but I can pay School Teacher from Hookers at the Point $20 for a blow. And School Teacher is a bigger and more respected star!

You probably wouldn’t want to pay $2,500 after seeing THIS PICTURE (NSFW!!!!) of Angelique. Sardine and crab pizza for dinner tonight!

VIA ONTD

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Heidi Klum Is Behind This

/ April 8, 2008

Yesterday, it was announced that Lifetime seduced Project Runway away from Bravo. I was excited about this, because Lifetime is home to the Golden Girls reruns. Heidi Klum and Bea Arthur make a glamorous team. However, the Golden Girls is moving off of Lifetime and shuffling off the Hallmark Channel. WTF?! Way to crush my dreams. Heidi Klum just couldn’t stand their heat.

The Hallmark channel is still in business?! I like Hallmark for my e-cards, I do not like them for my moving and talking picture entertainment. Wait, e-cards move and talk…right? You know what I mean! Fuck, it’s early.

Hallmark said, This is the perfect complement to our schedule of family-friendly programming. It will appeal not only to our current viewers, but to fans that will follow the program to Hallmark Channel. It will also appeal to our sponsors and our distribution partners.

It just doesn’t feel right whenever I try to walk the Hallmark channel. It feels like I’m in church. Lifetime is no longer the greatest network in history! The Trinity Network remains in the top spot. Seriously, watching the Trinity Network while drunk is a religious experience. Jan Crouch goes best with a side of vodka.

Below is an amazing Golden Girls moment which I will never enjoy on the Hallmark Channel.

Thanks David

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Valkyrie Is Never Coming Out

/ April 8, 2008

Tommy Girl’s jack-off piece about the Nazis has been pushed back again. They just need to push that shit off the planet already. It was originally supposed to come out this July and then it was pushed to October 2008 and now it won’t be released until February 13, 2009. The perfect movie for Valentine’s Day! Tommy Girl plus Nazis equal hardcore romance.

Valkyrie will compete with The Pink Panther 2 that weekend. Oh shit! I really hope Tommy gets his power bottom ass handed to him by a pink pussy. That would make my Valentine’s weekend right there.

In case you haven’t seen the trailer for this crap, here it is below. Tommy looks like he has Rihanna’s poodle on his head and homegirl doesn’t even try to do a German accent. You would think he would be excited about sounding Marlene Dietrich. Some fag he is.

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