The “Sex and the City” hags came out to support Cynthia Nixon last night. Cynthia was honored with the “Ginges Who Love Bull Dykes” award. No, she was awarded some Point of Courage award or something. She is courageous for going down on Christine Marinoni. Speaking of, I don’t think she was there last night!

I fucking live for seeing Christine and couldn’t find her anywhere in the pictures. She’s like an episode of “Rags to Riches.” I constantly channel surf for an episode, hoping to land on one, but it never comes. Christine is like that.

Maybe I should hang out in the tool section of Home Depot. She’s bound to show up there!

Here’s more pics of My Little Pony Parker and her lambs last night. I also added some Judith Light, because she’s hotter than all of them combined with a dash of sugar.

The broke ass version of Wilson Phillips has returned! The McCain Girls are continuing their theme of replacing McCain’s name with the word “rain” in popular songs. They already did “It’s Raining McCain” and now here’s “Here Comes McCain Again.” I don’t want McCain cumming anywhere near me.

This video features McCain as a peeping tom and as a flying ghost haunting the night. Yeah, that pretty much sums him up in one sentence.

I can’t wait for their versions of, “Blame It On McCain,” “Singin’ In McCain” and “Purple McCain.”

VIA Towleroad

Thanks BB

Wonky McValtrex was recently in South Africa with Benji Madden and had the locals laughing at her ass, because she wanted to know how much a cheetah cost.

A source told Gatecrasher, “Every time Paris saw something she liked, like a woman’s dress, she would ask how much it was. That included a cheetah she saw at an animal park. She asked how much it was and said, ‘If I bought a cheetah, would it run away from me or could I keep it?'”

Here is the answer to the cheetah question, “Paris, a cheetah will never run away from you as long as you sleep with it every single night. You also must douse yourself in cow blood before going to bed with it. You know how some puppies love to sleep with a wind up clock, because it reminds them of their mother’s heart? Well, cow blood reminds cheetahs of their mother. If they start to bite at you a little bit, let them do it. They are only playing and showing how much they love you. Don’t call for help, because then you will get them deported. You don’t want that.”

Snagtooth is just like us! – Popbytes

Surprise…surprise…Oprah is the richest celebrity – I’m Not Obsessed

John Barrowman gives us botox lessons – Towleroad

Bay City, Michigan wants Madonna to come home – ICYDK

Madonna wants a little Indian girl this time around – Celebitchy

Upside down methface – Popoholic

Demi Moore’s trainer said she had fat knees – Holy Moly!

I’m talking about Mr. Lisa Marie. We’ll get to her in a quick second. Mr. Lisa Marie is not helping her condition. The woman is probably nauseous and wearing shit like this would turn the strongest stomach. It looks like Snoop Dogg’s version of Tom Petty as Willy Wonka. The band of sequins on his hat can stay. I’m gay, I like sequins.

Here’s Mr. Lisa Marie with his heavily knocked up wife leaving Madeo restaurant last night. She looks like she’s pregnant with a small African village, so I will forgive her for wearing platform flip-flops. Platform flip-flops should be tortured and executed with their dead bodies left out for the vultures to pick on. They don’t even deserve a proper burial.

The dress is hot though. I want to give her a candlestick and have her glide through my house singing, “He’s here, the phantom of the opera!!!”

Mischa Barton will escape doing time in the lady clink by accepting a plea in her DUI case. People reports that she will plead no contest at her DUI arraignment this Thursday. In exchange, the weed possession charge has been dropped and the driving without a license charge has been reduced to an infraction.

Mischa will pay a fine of $1,700, complete a three-month alcohol-education class and serve 3 years of unsupervised probation.

Weed possession, drunk driving and driving without a license? If this happened to you or me, we would be cooking our breakfast on a jail radiator right now while massaging our raw assholes with cocoa butter.

A alcohol-education class sounds fun. Do they teach you how to make delicious cocktails like Singapore Slings and Rum Swizzles? I need some alcohol education. I’ll even stay up for the class and take detailed notes during the “the fastest way to get wasted” lecture.