Excuse her beauty! Last night on The Bachelor, we got a glimpse of what Shayne might look like when she’s older. The glimpse was glamorous and her name is Michele Smith! True beauty! Obviously, Shauna Sand has been ripping off this bitch’s high style for years. They use the name lip liner shade.

Shayne brought Bachelor Matt to meet her mother on last night’s episode. Michele is actually pretty normal, it’s just her fucking face that’s not normal. Matt must have been drunk as hell, because it didn’t phase him. If it was me, I would have told producers right then and there that the show was over, because I was picking Shayne. There’s no way I would miss an opportunity to spend every Christmas with glamorous Michele.

Lorenzo Lamas was also in the episode, but his ass was boring. He didn’t even talk about Falcon Crest. BORING! If I’m having “cheese and fruit” with Lorenzo, we’re talking about Shauna Sand and Falcon Crest.

The other slags on the show, also brought Matt to see their families, but it was filled with yawns. Amanda tried to give us a little excitement by hiring actors to play her parents. The fake mom hit on Matt hardcore and it was sort of funny. It still didn’t hide the fact that Amanda is about as exciting as a pap smear.

Below is a clip of beautiful Michele with Matt. I don’t think I listened to a word she said, because I was too busy watching her lip liner dance and praying her face would fall into Matt’s lap. Gorgeous finally has a name and its Michele Smith! I’ve also attached a little photo of Lorenzo and Michele in 1985. So fucking hot.

Penny Cruz’s did a sex scene with Ben Kingsley. If you have to do a sex scene, you might as well do it with Sir Ben – Egotastic!

Fergie’s in a bikini again and still doesn’t look that awful. What’s going on? – Hollywood Tuna

I miss Ginger Spice’s humongous trainer (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Jakey Poo’s off the crutches – Popsugar

Eww! Kristy Lee Cook looks like shit – Just Jared

Which one is the mom and which one is the daughter? – Hollywood Rag

Pete Wentz goes commando – Cityrag

Crazy goes to the opera – Lainey Gossip

Danica Patrick is Number One – IDLYITW

The Hoff hospitalized – A Socialite’s Life

36 hours with Christian Siriano – Almack’s Dance Hall

I’m talking about Russell Brand and not the pepaw behind him. Although, that might make for a hot tag-team. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, but lately I’ve been all into Russell Brand. His hairspray fumes must be making their way through my screen and seducing me.

Any dude that has the balls to go out in public dressed like Lindsay Lohan with hair like Heather from “Rock of Love” must be fearless in the sack.

Here’s Russell greeting his pubic outside BBC studios.

It’s time to give it up and call it a day when your clothing line makes Heidi Montag’s line look like some couture shit. Asshole Simpson designed a t-shirt line for Wet Seal to help market her shitty ass CD. Who the fuck would want this bitch’s ass face all over their t-shirt? I wouldn’t even use her ass face to wipe my own ass.

Click here if you want to buy this shit, but be aware that your computer will laugh at you once you hit “process order.”

And since I’ve already hurt your eyes, I might as well hurt your ears as well. Here’s Asshole on Leno last night. She should have lip-synched and then danced a jig. It would have been more entertaining.

Source: ONTD

Thanks Laurie

Gawker got a couple of screen shots of Lindsay Lohan’s supposed Facebook page. It’s not private which makes it suspect. The content is thrilling. HoHan goes by “Lindsay Ronson” and recently wrote, “don’t believe the hype. im taking my sobriety seriously, and day by day. it was 430am!!”

LinRo counts Cory Kennedy, Lauren Conrad, Jason Preston, Hilary Duff and Lauren Hastings as some of her friends. Lauren Hastings is that bitch who accused HoHan of stealing her clothes a while ago. Lauren recently wrote on LinRo’s “Wall,” “actually your the one who is looking pretty fuckin thick these days….but because i work a good program i will refrain myself for saying whats really on my mind.” No! Say it! We’re all watching her “Wall.”

Below is a screen shot from Gawker of LinRo’s Wall.

I hope she has the Vampire app, because my vampire was born to beat her ass.

Natural beauty Jodie Marsh talked to GMTV this morning about her reasons for getting ass cheeks permanently planted on her chest. Jodie took her titties to a 32GG (double the gross) because she was tired of wearing push-up bras.

She said, “You know what, I’ll tell you the honest truth – because I did have quite big boobs, natural big boobs and, as any woman with big boobs knows, they don’t stay pert and firm forever – they don’t. ­­And of course, when gravity takes it toll, you’re left with boobs that really only look good in a push up bra – which is what mine had become. And I’d got to a point where I was like, I want them to look like this all the time, I don’t want to have to keep pushing them up.”

29-year-old Jodie also told her plastic surgeon she “didn’t want them to be ridiculous.”

Personally, I think they are too small. Each breast should be at least twice the size of her own head or why even bother going under the knife!?

Source

Thanks Lucinda