Thank God They Didn’t Breed

/ March 27, 2007
 
Randy Spelling wants everyone to know that he took Paris Hilton's cherry. Only a Spelling would WANT to admit to something like that.
 
He said, “We were together for like two months. We went to Palm Springs once for the weekend, and we couldn’t check into the hotel under her name because her grandma was looking for her. She was like 15; I was 17. And what do you know, I hear this knock-knock-knock on the door, and I look out and her grandma’s there. And then I look out the window and I see Paris in a full-on dress with a suitcase running down the golf course. We broke up like a week later.”
 
The Gods were on our side by breaking them up. If a Spelling and a Hilton reproduced, I think the world would end in a fiery ball of queef juice.
 
 
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Ice Queen Baby

/ March 27, 2007
 
Woman's Day (I don't know what that is either) is reporting that Nicole Kidman is knocked up with Keith Urban's baby. Sources say she's been under fertility treatments for months now and has finally told her family the news.
 
The source said, "They've been riding on clouds since they got the news. Nicole's been hoping for this since the day they got married. Everyone knows how she's been aching to have a baby. It's all she's been talking about for ages."
 
She doesn't look pregnant to me. Unless, she's carrying the baby in her hair.
 
 
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