Ho Looks So Much Hotter Covered Up

December 18, 2006 / Posted by:

Britney Spears actually covered her stuff up to join her sister Jamie Lynn Spears at a Lakers game last night. Well, she covered herself up for a quick minute and then she let her wonky breasts come out to play. She still looks inbred in the face I’m sorry to say.

In other B news, her infamous belching video has topped the chart for the most watched video of 2006. The video was shot by KFed while she was on tour. B is definitely drunk and high during the tape. It certainly is a classic, because it documents an average conversation with this dumb ass.

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Blohan’s Pole Dancing Bruises

December 18, 2006 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan has finally realized her future and has given up acting and is now stripping to make the rent. Ok, not really but she’s training as a topless dancer for her new film “I Know Who Killed Me.” Linds is working with stripper pro Sheila Kelly and will spend the next 5 weeks taking her undies off and actually getting paid.

She told friends in an e-mail, “They’re all whorez, they’re all whorez . . . xcept for some obviously! So . . . 3 hours of pole dancing and bruised. everywhere . . . I mean we’re talkin’ like, UPPER AND INNER THIGH ACTION-bruised . . . like a walking black-and-blue mark. I mean really though, really, I didn’t know it was actually possible to have bruises in such areas of the body. Strippers dude, I tell you, I really respect the cuntz now. . . I’m not gonna lie to ya.

Using the word c-u-next-tuesday to describe women? Who does she think she is? Me?!

Lohan’s rep confirms that she’s stripping now, “Her character is a stripper, and she now realizes that the job isn’t easy. We should give these women credit.”

I would love to see the original script! You know her character is like a supermarket checkout girl and Lohan comes in and is like, “Ok, I really think it would be like (sniff) really intense (sniff) and important emotionally if she’s like a cuntz of a stripper (sniff) you know like really cool and like real.”

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That Food is for the Fat Girl

December 18, 2006 / Posted by:

Nicole Richie and a friend stocked up on graham crackers and donuts at Ralph’s supermarket in Los Angeles yesterday afternoon. The fat girl is shouting to her “No! Not the fat free ones! The ones with buttermilk and lard filling!” I’m not sure why Nicole is buying this stuff. She can get full by just looking at it!

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Birthday Sluts

December 18, 2006 / Posted by:

Brad Pitt (43)
Christina Aguilera (26)
Katie Holmes (28)
DMX (36)
Casper Van Dien (38)
Stone Cold Steve Austin (42)
Ray Liotta (51)
Leonard Maltin (56)
Steven Spielberg (60)
Keith Richards (63)

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