Shauna Sand Is Married?!

/ April 24, 2008

Shauna Sand married a hot Frenchie, Romain Chavent, in 2006 and kept it a secret. How very Janet Jackson of her. I’m not sure you can call it a secret when nobody really cares. TMZ caught up with Romain last night and he confirmed he filed for divorce. He cited “irreconcilable differences” and the divorce papers were handwritten.

Romain said that Shauna’s move to Miami and her hard-partying are reasons for their divorce.

Where the hell are the wedding pictures?! You know this ho wore a latex wedding dress and had special lucite heels made for the occasion. She had a little blinking light put into the platform. It blinked like crazy as she walked down the aisle. A high-class affair.

Click here to see a video of hot Frenchie talking about his split from one of the most gorgeous women in the world.

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Judge Toler Does Have All The Answers

/ April 24, 2008

Gary Coleman and his wife of 8-months, Shannon Price, are heading to “Divorce Court.” Bossip reports that the two-part special will air on May 1st during sweeps. Apparently, this shit was taped back in March. Celeb Scoop reports that Gary wanted to go on the show, because he’s a big fan. Why didn’t Vh1 think of this shit?! Celebrity Divorces hosted by Pamela Anderson.

Here’s the synopsis of Gary’s second episode. Train sets!

On the conclusion of a two part session of Divorce Court, both Gary Coleman and his wife Shannon Price agreed to come on Divorce Court because they wanted Judge Toler’s marital advice. Shannon says she is tired of Gary’s outbursts and head banging against the wall episodes. Shannon wants Gary to start going out with her instead of staying indoors playing video games and playing with his train sets. Shannon also says she wants to have kids but Gary is not fond of them. Gary says he does not like going out and would rather spend his time with his train set. Gary also says he does not want to have kids because he does not like them.

Picturing Gary Coleman in a little conductor hat, screaming “Choo Choo” at the top of his little lungs has made my day.

40-year-old Gary married 22-year-old Shannon last August in Utah. Back then, Gary admitted that he was a virgin and also confessed about having a temper. Shannon said he regularly threw shit at her during arguments.

Gary has since said he lost his virginity to Shannon. That’s the problem right there! The sex is shit.

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Where’s Jaws When You Need Him?

/ April 24, 2008

Denise Richards is in Hawaii trying to resurrect her dead career by filming a reality show. I can tell the show is going to be thrilling. Denise paddling in the ocean? Edge of our fucking seats. Producers should at least throw a jellyfish at her ass, so they can get some kind of emotion out of her. She probably wouldn’t even realize it was stinging her, because she’s on a 20-second delay.

And in other news, allergies are fucking me in the ass without lube today. If my posts start not making sense, it’s the Benadryl talking. Yeah, when do my posts make sense? Good question.

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Twit And Twat Are Not Going To The White House

/ April 24, 2008

Heidi Montag was reportedly invited to the White House Correspondents gala by MSNBC, but pulled out when they wouldn’t pay for Spencer’s expenses. Page Six reports that Spencer demanded two first-class plane tickets for both him and Heidi even though he wasn’t invited.

MSNBC refused to pay for his expenses, so he cancelled Heidi’s appearance. Spencer said the event “wasn’t ‘A-listy‘ enough.”

A rep for MSNBC denied they ever invited the plastic pony. Heidi’s rep blamed it on scheduling conflicts. Err….isn’t Spencer her rep?

Even though Heidi cannot make the gala, it will still go on. Why even bother? America’s #1 feminist hero can’t make it. There’s really no point!

Ashlee Simpson, Pete Wentz, Pamela Anderson, Donatella Versace, the Jonas Brothers, Hayden Panatroll, Claire Danes and Tracey Ullman are just some of the celebrities that will attend. Douche convention!

Who’s going to play pattycake with George Bush now? He was sooo looking forward to it.

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Brit Brit Is Still Sexy (To Some)

/ April 24, 2008

Brit Brit made FHM’s annual 100 Sexiest Women in the World list! She came in at #100, but she still made it! She baaaaarely beat out Bea Arthur by only a couple of votes. Bea is pissed!

9 million votes were cast in Megan Fox beat Brit Brit for the top spot. Cliche! Here’s the top 10:

1. Megan Fox
2. Jessica Biel
3. Jessica Alba
4. Elisha Cuthbert
5. ScarJo
6. Emmanuelle Chriquri
7. Hilary Duff
8. Tricia Helfer
9. Blake Lively
10. Kate Beckinsale

Hilary Duff?! Isn’t this 100 Sexiest Women and not ponies? Other strange choices on the list include HoHan, Maggie Gyllenhaal, The Olly Girls, Tara Reid, Cheryl Burke (!!!!) and Katie Holmes. We need more sexy women in the world if this is the best they can do.

Here’s more pics of Brit being oh-so-sexy while leaving the gym yesterday.

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LaBeouf Dating HoHan’s Arch Rival?

/ April 24, 2008

Shia LaBeouf is reportedly off the market, because he’s fallen for Lauren Hastings. I guess his douche one-liners worked on someone.

23-year-old Lauren made headlines last year after she accused HoHan of stealing $10,000 worth of clothes from her. She also claimed HoHan, Samantha Ronson and Nicole Richie called her a fat ass. Mean Girls indeed. HoHan denied it, but Lauren stands by her story.

Well, now Shia can buy the chick some new clothes. A source told Life & Style, “He met her through a mutual friend and thought she was one of the most beautiful girls he’d ever seen.

At least Shia is finally getting some action. I was going to send him a Jenna Jameson rubber pussy, because I was starting to feel sorry for him.

Hastings Image: Buzznet

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