Let’s Have a Lohan Holiday!

December 23, 2006 / Posted by:

I posted this Christmas classic about a month ago, but I thought I’d repost it since you really can’t get your holiday started without it. Blohan’s little sister, Ali Lohan, debuted her single “Lohan Holiday” at Planet Hollywood in NYC yesterday. She also celebrated her 13th Birthday. Her sister wasn’t there, because she was too busy “playing in the Christmas snow,” but I’m sure she was there in spirit.

Unfortunately, Ali Lohan is all sorts of fug and she can’t sing worth a caca. The song is beautiful though and I wish all of you a Lohan holiday. So basically I mean I want you to get beat up by your father, OD on pills, fall down the stairs and have your mother ask you for thousands of dollars. Yeah, that pretty much sounds like the Holidays to me as well!

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“Cause Vanity Fair is Like Classy Y’all!”

December 23, 2006 / Posted by:

Britney Spears hopes to be the first to comment about the fall of her marriage to KFed and is hoping to do so in Vanity Fair. KFed planned a tell-all book on his marriage and how Britney is bi-sexual and all, but Brit will beat him to eat.

A source at Vanity Fair said, “Britney has agreed to make Vanity Fair her first big statement about her new life.”

“The interview will be very frank. She liked how they handled Jennifer’s first interview after her divorce from Brad Pitt.”

Who cares what this ho has to say. I want to hear what her vagina has to say. It has a much more compelling tale to tell I’m sure.


Paris is Used and Bruised as Usual

December 23, 2006 / Posted by:

Parasite Hilton spent the other day tanning her used and bruised ass on some beach. She probably got the bruise from being gang banged by a group of fish in Tokyo. Anyway, Christmas has come early to us! Word around the grapevine is that this piece of trash is quitting music for good. Her debut album bombed on the charts and even giving bjs to millions of dudes didn’t work to sell records. Sources at her record company claim she’s done.

“You don’t need to worry about listening to any more music from Paris – there won’t be any. Her career as a singer is going to be allowed to quietly go away.”

Merry Christmas to all! Now can they work on making her go away for good?



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