Irma Serrano – Her nickname is “La Tigresa” or “The Tigress.” Irma is a Mexican singer, actress and politician. She became known in the 70s for acting in cheap ass movies. She is known for all her scandals which many think she made up. According to Wikipedia, she has been called Dolly Parton, Hillary Clinton and Elvira all rolled into one. Dolly because she’s a country singer. Hillary because she became a senator. Elvira because many believe her to be a witch.

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Let me explain the picture first. When I googled “dick thieves” this came up. Now on to our story!

13 people have been arrested in the Congo for stealing dick! 13 suspected sorcerers have been accused of using black magic to steal or shrink the dicks of several men. Police had to step in, because angry mobs were threatening to lynch suspects.

Last week in the capital city of Kinshasa, rumor spread that sorcerers were going around shrinking cock. Even radio stations warned people to beware of people in communal taxis with gold rings. Beware of the dick shrinkers! Over here we call dick shrinkers, Paris Hilton.

The 14 victims claims the sorcerers simply touched them to make their dicks shrink or disappear. They suspect they did this to extort cash from them for a cure.

The police chief said he thinks it’s one big joke, but “when you try to tell the victims that their penises are still there, they tell you that it’s become tiny or that they’ve become impotent. To that I tell them, ‘How do you know if you haven’t gone home and tried it’.” That police chief is a hot slut.

Have these dick sorcerers been visiting my cruise bar of choice, because my one-nighters have been coming up “short” lately.

Here’s a few pics from last night of two penises I’d like to see disappear.

Don’t eff with the IRS, because they just love getting your ass in the end. A judge ordered Wesley Snipes to 36 months in the chokey for tax evasion. 3 years is the maximum sentence Wesley could have received.

Miss Noxema Jackson was convicted in February on three misdemeanor charges for not filing his taxes.

Wesley even had some of his famous friends including, Woody Harrleson and Denzel Washington, write letters in his defense. Don’t ask that pot head to write you a letter for a judge! Woody probably wrote the truth. Pot does that sometimes.

I hope Wesley still knows one of his Noxema Jackson routines. That shit will be perfect for the prison talent show.

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Orange chicken! Panda Express is such trash, but I ate that shit almost every day when I lived in California. I know it’s basically a plate of MSG, but it’s delicious. I once met this bitch in a bar who was a manager at Panda Express and they told me to stop eating there. When I asked why they wouldn’t answer. That’s not a good sign. They probably use rat shit in their beef broccoli. Who cares? Pour some MSG on that rat shit and if tastes delicious, I will eat it. You only live once, so you might as well eat tasty shit.

Katie Price enjoyed what our good country has to offer while shopping at the Beverly Center. You know the bitch thinks it’s some authentic Chinese food. She probably asked if she could give her regards to the chef. They handed her a bag of MSG.

Here’s more pics of Katie looking like a burnt-up Elvira and a few shots of her gay husband.

Cynthia Nixon recently said that she had breast cancer in 2006. Cynthia said she “beat” it after six-weeks of radiation. The experience has given Cynthia the desire to marry her hot bitch girlfriend of 3 years, Christine Marinoni.

The National Enquirer claims the two want to marry this Fall in Vermont. A source said, “Cynthia and Chris want a quiet autumn ceremony in Vermont under the red leaves. It’s supposed to be a very low-key gathering, just for close friends and family.” My invitation better be in the mail, because there’s no way I want to miss this hot lesbian wedding. I’ll buy them a wooden duck. Lesbians love wooden ducks.

The red leaves will look gorgeous against Rojo Caliente’s skin. I’m not talking about Cynthia either. Rojo Caliente better order her tuxedo from Casual Male right now. That’s going to be a special order.

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