A pap filed a hit-and-run report with the L.A. Sheriffs Department after he claims Benji Madden ran over his foot last night. TMZ has video of the paps covering Benji and Wonky’s car as they left Foxtail last night. You can hear one of the paps screaming as Benji allegedly runs over his footsie. Benji sort of checks things out and then takes off.

That pap just needs to walk it off. At least it wasn’t Brit Brit! She would have ran over his foot, reversed and then ran it over again. That being said, the cops should throw Wonky in jail just because. Charge her with attempted murder!

Click here to see the video. Below is another shot of the pap’s footsie. You know you want to lick the screen. Feet will always gross me out. I can lick an ear hole with no problem, but licking feetsies will always be off-limits for me.

The Burger King is definitely sharing a pipe with Amy Wino. The BK on crack is the only thing that could explain the reason for this:

FAST food chain Burger King are to serve up the world’s most expensive takeaway – costing a whopping £85 ($170).

There’s no common old meat in this burger. It will contain top-quality Kobe beef from Japan. And instead of ketchup and cheddar, it will be garnished with foie gras – a goose delicacy – and rare blue cheese.

It will be launched in selected branches next month, with London’s upmarket Kensington and Chelsea tipped to get the posh burger first.

Lucy Barett of Marketing Magazine doesn’t think it’s that bad of an idea, “The idea of a burger that no one buys is not as ludicrous as it seems. Burger King will use it to promote a gap in perception between it and McDonald’s. It could lead consumers to reassess the quality of the brand.” Lucy has obviously been taking a few puffs from BK’s pipe too.

First, BK needs to find a cure for their ICEEs turning your shit green. Seriously, their ICEEs will turn your shit bright green like Shrek poop. Those dumb bitches need to figure that shit out before launching new moronic products like this one.

Thanks Cecilia

There’s definitely a massacre going down at Good Morning America right now. Mimi performed this morning and that shit didn’t go well. During “Touch My Body,” the back-up track started too soon and Mimi tried to sing her way through it, but you can tell she was boiling inside.

And then about 3 minutes into the performance, one of the back-up singers starts singing her part. Mimi turns to her and sings “Stop singing my paaaarttt…now babbbby…” I hope the back-up singer has made peace with God, because it’s over for her.

Somebody has to find out the back-up singer’s name! She is the hottest bitch in history, because she has a habit of doing that shit. She also did it during Mimi’s American Idol performance.

Visit ONTD to see video of Mimi’s two other performances on GMA. She snapped at Diane Sawyer before “Bye Bye.” I really hope someone got footage of Mimi’s tirade backstage. You know she swallowed three boxes of Twinkies and then ate the bitch who started the track too early.

Below is “Touch My Body.” Skip to 3 minutes to see Mimi telling her back-up singer what’s what.

Naturally, CNN’s Richard Quest has followed up his embarrassing arrest last Friday by checking into rehab. Richie was arrested last week after cops found him wandering in Central Park after park curfew. He admitted to the cops that he was carrying meth. In a search, cops later found a rope around his neck which was tied to his genitals. Oh and they found a sex toy in his shoe too. He’s a walking party!

CNN issued this statement about Richie going into rehab:

“At this time, CNN’s primary concern is for his health and wellbeing. We look forward to Richard returning to CNN International.”

Anderson Cooper issued his own statement, “Better him than me.” He didn’t say that, but someone needs to ask him about this mess.

During Richie’s arraignment last Saturday, he agreed to undergo drug counseling for six months in order to avoid time in jail.

Couldn’t Richie wait until June for Celebrity Rehab 2?! I need him to show me what kind of knot he used to keep the rope around his genitals. I’ve been trying, but I can’t seem to get it right. Richie needs to show me the way.

Source

We’re going to Paris! An exhibition of Dreamboat Doherty’s art opened in Paris yesterday at the local Methadone Clinic. NO! It opened at the Chappe Gallery. Dreamy is a real artiste. The exhibition featured 30 paintings by Dreamy. Many of them were made using his own blood.

One painting is a tribute to Kate Moss, but it looks more like Jackie Stallone after a botched facelift. Dreamy has also signed his name in blood on several painting using his used needles.

The exhibition runs until May 11th. Dreamy won’t be able to make it since he’s sort of busy making grilled cheese sandwiches on the radiator in the chokey. A friend told NME that Dreamy is making the most out of his time in prison. Yeah, he’s passing the time by shooting up. Time flies when you’re getting high. The friend said, “He’s being very positive about the whole situation, he’s chomping at the bit to play festivals this summer. Just to strap his guitar on again and be the frontman in Babyshambles.”

I need one of Dreamy’s painting! Just touching one of his paintings will give me syphilis, but it’s worth it. I wonder if he’d trade half an 8-ball for a painting. DUH!

GROSS: The Empire State Building will turn pink, lavender and white this weekend in honor of Mariah Carey – Towleroad

Is Carmen Electra knocked up? – Celebitchy

Amanda Bynes has brown hair now…upgrade…I guess? – I’m Not Obsessed

Eli Roth is going PG-13 – SOW

The First Lady of France might be the new face of Asda – The Swell Life

Jeremy Piven is coming to Broadway – ICYDK

WTF! R. Kelly has a new song out called “Hair Braider” – Concrete Loop

Girlicious? Slutlicious is more like it – Popbytes