We’ve All Been There

/ May 7, 2008

Somebody had too many kamikaze shots. A pap claims Kelly Osbourne was escorted out of a club in London, because she couldn’t stand up! That’s why bars have bathrooms! You lock yourself in a stall and take a little nap. If a bathroom stall isn’t available, nap under a table. The kicks from the people above will rock you to sleep.

Kelly managed to get home, but the paps say she almost exposed her coochie while falling out of her cab. She walked across the street to her house and walked into a wall. Been there, done that. At least she got into her house. There’s been times where I got drunk and lost my house keys in the bar! It’s hard trying to sleep off the booze in a hallway or in bushes.

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Ooooo, Wino’s In Trouble!

/ May 7, 2008

The Sun is reporting that Wino is currently being questioned by the fuzz on suspicion of drug offenses at a police station in East London right now. I’d love to see how that conversation is going down.

Cop: (trying not to laugh) So…um….do…you…um…use drugs?

The entire station erupts in laughter! Some even die from laughing so hard!

Heatworld reports that she’s been arrested, but who knows. That’s nothing new for Wino. Handcuffs are a Wino’s best friend! As you may remember, Wino was given a caution recently by the police for headbutting a dude outside of a bar.

UPDATE: The Daily Mail is reporting that she was in fact arrested. Scotland Yard said it has to do with a video they received of Wino. Last January, pictures from the video of Wino allegedly smoking crack was published by The Sun. Scotland Yard released this statement:

“Around 1pm today a 24-year-old women from the Camden area attended a London police station by arrangement and was arrested in connection with the alleged possession of a controlled drug.

She remains in custody.”

FREE WINOOOO, Part II!!!!

Thanks Peaches

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Afternoon Crumbs

/ May 7, 2008

Lezzie camp! HoHan on Ugly BettyJust Jared

RiRi is hot and she knows it – Egotastic!

Elisha Cuthbert giving herself cleavage – Hollywood Tuna

This isn’t a good look for Adam BrodyPopsugar

Chelsea Clinton will hit a lesbo bar to campaign for mommy – Towleroad

Chestica engaged? Papa Joe wishes – IDLYITW

Miley Cyrus hangs out with drag queens (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Jude Law looks beat – A Socialite’s Life

Pamela Anderson sold her used panties at her garage sale – Hollywood Rag

Celebrity tattoos in hidingCityrag

P.S. – CAPTION THIS will come back as soon as we open up comments to everybody again. We’re working on it!

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Lil’ Kim As The Virgin Mary

/ May 7, 2008

Cocaine, naked gays, used needles and a baby with a painted face are just a few things I think of when it comes to Lil’ Kim. David LaChapelle shot Lil’ Kim as the Virgin Mary for some kind of possibly new promo shot. I’m not sure what she’s promoting exactly….

This would make the perfect Christmas card, but I would need to photoshop my face over baby’s face. Leave the children out of it!

UPDATE: That shit is as fake as Lil Kim’s titties! The picture was made by a fan for a Lil’ Kim fansite. They took an old picture by photographer Justin Monroe and photoshopped Kim’s face on the model’s face. That’s that! Kim did not pose for the Virgin Mary and David LaChapelle did not take this picture. Below is picture proof.

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The Ugliest Boots Ever Made

/ May 7, 2008

Barf on a heel! Brit Brit has resurrected the ugliest boots ever made. I haven’t seen her in these for a couple of months. I thought her toe fungus destroyed them once and for all. Guinness World Records should award her for having the largest collection of fugly fug boots.

The court needs to step in and sentence her boots to execution by burning.

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It Wasn’t Portion Control & Pilates

/ May 7, 2008

Barbara Walters has a book out and in it she covers the lie she had to tell every day on the set of “The View.” Everyone knows Star Jones took a wet vac to her fat, but Star claimed for the longest time that she lost the weight from “portion control and pilates.”

Babs told Oprah yesterday that Star was so obese that she could barely walk on to the set. I once heard a funny rumor that Star’s fat ass couldn’t make it to the set without resting, so they placed a chair between her dressing room and the set. HA! I would have moved the chair one day and put a giant pizza in its place.

Babs said, “She decided to have a gastric bypass operation, but then she decided not to tell anybody. Then we had to lie on the set everyday because she said it was portion control and Pilates. Well, we knew it wasn’t portion control and Pilates.”

Babs also talked about Rosie O’Donnell’semotional issues.” She said that Rosie felt she was abandoned by her, because she didn’t back her up in Rosie’s girl fight with Donald Trump. Babs also said Rosie was used to being in control, “She had always driven the bus and she could not just ride the bus.” The short bus!

Unfortunately, Babs didn’t give us any juicy gossip on Hasselcrack! I just know that fake bitch is a kinky swinger who’s into sploshing.

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