Look Who’s On The Cover Of This Week’s National Enquirer…..

/ May 7, 2008

Recognize those New England clam chowder thighs on the left? Of course you do. It’s posing for the cameras which means it can only be the International sensation known as Phoebe Denise Price! FAME! PP better hike up her chicken cutlets and proudly pose with this National Enquirer cover for the paps. PP got a cover! Enquirer this week, The Globe next week and then the world!

The Enquirer used a picture from this set of pictures of PP at the beach from a week ago or so.

Below are some other pictures of National Enquirer cover girl, PP, walking the stroll in Beverly Hills a few days ago.

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Lightweight

/ May 7, 2008

Evan Rachel Wood tried Marilyn Manson’s juice for her birthday and the bitch couldn’t handle it. No, it’s not what you think. She did a shot of his brand of absinthe called Mansinthe.

She said, “For my birthday, I did one shot to try it, and that was it. I was drunk immediately. Being who he is, Manson wanted to make it as strong as it could possibly be, so it’s got the highest amount of wormwood that you can have legally. One shot of it, and you’re out for the night. Three shots of it, you’re dead.” Aww…she should have done three shots then. Sorry, that was the Dita Von Teese in me talking.

The Dish Rag reports that Mansinthe may soon be available in the US. When that crap came out, one reviewer said it tasted like “sewage water.” I’m sure that’s what Marilyn’s other juice tastes like too.

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Everybody’s Got A Dream

/ May 7, 2008

Sheyla Hershey, a 28-year-old wife and mother from Houston, has had 8 surgeries on her breast to get them to their current size of FFF. Sheyla has around 2 quarts of silicone in each titty and she wants more!

Sheyla just wants to look better. She said, “I want to look better each day, every day. Everybody’s got a dream inside, you know? And, it’s good when you can make your dream come true.” What she just said is fucking amazing. She must be thinking with her implants. Her dream is going to turn into a nightmare when her skin finally breaks and her titties explode.

Her huge chichis even earned her a spot in Brazil’s Guinness Book of World Records. Sheyla still isn’t happy and wants to beat the world’s record for the largest implants.

Even though Sheyla wants to expand her breasts, the state of Texas won’t allow her to. They have limits on the amount of silicone that can be put into each breast. One health professional told FoxNews that Sheyla should “undergo a psychological evaluation” before going under the knife again. She should undergo a lobotomy not an evaluation.

Sheyla will instead have her surgery in Brazil. Good for Sheyla! She has a dream and she’s following it. A dream is a wish your titty makes.

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This Ho Is Still Around?

/ May 7, 2008

Seeing new pictures of Sarah Larson with George Clooney still surprise me. I’m waiting for him to send her back to the Bunny Ranch or wherever the hell he found her. All I know is that this is going to be a major bill for George Clooney. Sarah Larson doesn’t come cheap! Vivian Ward, eat your hooker heart out!

What Sarah needs to do is stop fucking around and get with the gold digging program already! The bitch needs to get knocked up or go home!

The Clooney and his lovely Sarah celebrated his 47th Birthday last night in NYC. 47? He doesn’t look a day under 60! That being said, I’d let him cum in my ear. It’s probably like porridge though, because that’s what pepaw sperm is like. So I’ve heard….

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STFU Star Jones!

/ May 7, 2008

Star Jones better watch her saggy ass, because you don’t want to piss off Barbara Walters. Old memaws know how to fight! They will stick their dentures in you and keep them there. Anyway, Star Jones has spoken out about against Babs for talking about her in her book, “Audition.” Babs said she had to lie about Star’s gastric bypass every day on “The View.

Star told UsWeekly,It is a sad day when an icon like Barbara Walters, in the sunset of her life, is reduced to publicly branding herself as an adulterer, humiliating an innocent family with accounts of her illicit affair and speaking negatively against me all for the sake of selling a book. It speaks to her true character.

Sunset of her life?! She probably learned that snap comment through Gay Al. At least she got something out of her fake ass relationship with him. It is a sad day when I have to look at Star’s fugly ass this much.

Babs rep responded to Star’s comment by saying, “I will not dignify this with a comment. Barbara’s written words say it all!” Boo! Babs should have said, “Well she married a fairy princess, so THERE!

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