The Kardashians Make A Joke Out Of Burma

/ May 9, 2008

The KKK skanks have done a PSA about Burma, but it comes off as a completely mockery. The PSA shows Kim trying on dresses while the sisters talk about “Burma’s political plight.” Cheery music plays in the background. Here’s just some of their serious dialogue:

Kim: What’s this benefit again for? Burping?

Khloe: Not burping. Burma.

Kim: I was kidding. I wrote my whole thesis on Burma. It’s a terrible situation over there.

They go on to poorly recite scripted words about Burma. It ends with Khloe asking Kim if she “really wrote her college thesis on Burma?” Kim responds, “What a thesis? I’m totally kidding.”

Kim, You’re a dumb skank. I’m totally not kidding.

Even commenters on Kim’s blog are offended with this piece of trash! Here’s a couple:

Can we get some more hilarious video’s about say 9\11 or other tragic circumstances? I can’t wait until you hit 30 and no one cares about you anymore.”

“OMG kim … I can’t believe you made a video clip like that about a serious situation. You such a self consumed tramp you seriously have no class or brains. EVERYTHING you do is a joke including this video awareness clip.. I can’t believe you actually made fun of something so serious. If your dad was alive he would slap your face from one side to the other … Your disgusting… Reggie I can’t believe your dating a flake like kim .. She’s not only bad for you she’s bad for your image.”

Click here to see their “PSA.”

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Daisy, Don’t Get Too Comfortable

/ May 9, 2008

As soon as I saw these pictures of Mark Ronson and his child girlfriend, Daisy Lowe, I got all “Fatal Attraction” inside. I want to scream, “I won’t be ignored, Mark!” Daisy better keep her stuffed animal collection safe, because I’m this close to boiling one of her stuffed toy bunnies.

32-year-old Mark and 19-year-old Daisy were pictured as a couple for the first time in London last night. Daisy needs to go back to playing with Barbie and leave Ronson to the big bitches. I’m sure the girl is lovely and shits crystal bubbles, but she should put down the Ronson and move on.

You can tell Mark is thinking of me in those pics. “I won’t be ignoooored Mark!!! I won’t allow you treat me like some slut you can just bang a couple of times and throw in the garbage!” Actually, he can do the latter anytime he wants.

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The Full Cast Of “I Love Money”

/ May 9, 2008

The full cast of Vh1’s “I Love Money” reads like the CDC’s Most Wanted list. Vh1 has announced the entire cast for the competition reality show which will pit the walking vagina warts from “Rock of Love,” “I Love New York” and “Flavor of Love” against each other for a $250,000 grand prize. And the cast is…

From I Love New York:
12 Pack
Chance
The Entertainer
Heat
Midget Mac
Mr. Boston
Real
Whiteboy

From Rock of Love 1 & 2:
Brandi C
Destiney
Heather
Megan
Rodeo

From Flavor of Love 1 &2:
Hoopz
Nibblz
Pumkin
Toastee

Where the hell is Lip Chap, Daisy, Lacey and Angelique?! They must have not passed the health examination.

This shit will premiere July 13th at 9pm. Cannot. Wait.

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Bitch Please

/ May 9, 2008

Mischa Barton is STILL talking about those pictures of her thighs looking like a yeast infection. She’s screaming reverse photoshop! Yup, they used the oatmeal tool on her.

Mischa’s pr bitch told Rush & Molloy, “Those photos are doctored. I’m not saying she’s perfect, nobody is. But they’ve given a 22-year-old woman the legs and bottom of an 80-year-old. Look at the shots that were taken shortly before on a beach in L.A. Did she develop all that cellulite in a couple of weeks? There’s a lot you can do with Photoshopping.”

She thinks that the pap who took the pics, Jamie Fawcett, is trying to make her look bad, because she bitched him out for taking pictures of her bare saggy titties. Jamie responded, “I wouldn’t seek to publicly embarrass her with nudity or health issues or body image issues. It is a shame that publications tend to highlight an issue that is not fair to a young girl. … However, sometimes these are the things that sell pictures.”

Please, Mischa loves this shit. She hasn’t had this much publicity since….well ever! I’m sure the offers are just rolling in after those pictures hit. I wouldn’t be surprised if her thighs are named the new mascot of Quaker Oats. Poor Quaker Oats Man will be out of a job.

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Recount!

/ May 9, 2008

Not since Danny Noriega was voted off “American Idol” have I felt so cheated! One of the greatest musical talents this hour century, Chloe Lattanzi, did not win “Rock the Cradle” last night. This shit is fixed! Chloe was one of the three finalists along with Crosby Loggins and that douche with a mohawk. I forgot his name already. Crosby won. Zzzzzzzz. Chloe didn’t even shed a tear! I expected her puffer lips to quiver until her head flew away.

Chloe will go on to bigger and better things. She’s going to be a huge star in……Lithuania!

Brit Brit Spears was also in the audience to support Larry Rudolph who was one of the judges. I’m sure Brit Brit fell in love with Chloe’s talent the same way I did. They will create beautiful music together that will make hearing aids everywhere explode.

Below is Chloe’s duet with her mother, Olivia Newton-John. I think the stage was declared a disaster zone after that performance. I’m pretty sure that’s the last we’ll see of Chloe unless we move to Lithuania. I’m really tempted to do so. I can’t live without this puffer fish with a voice like burnt glass.

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Morning Wood

/ May 9, 2008

The “Anna Nicole” movie might be the greatest piece of shit ever made – FourFour

Seal proposed to Heidi Klum in an igloo – Celebitchy

RiRi and Chris Brown kissing at KFC – Concrete Loop

Want to model for HoHan’s line of leggings? You’ll be paid with a fresh case of crabs – ICYDK

Royal Fishsticks Lainey Gossip

Wino looking sexy hot after leaving jail – I’m Not Obsessed

Paul McCartney voted most irritating star – Holy Moly!

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