Remember that little 7-year-old peach who took his memaw’s car for a joyride last month? He said he did it because “doing bad things is fun” and he wanted to do “hood rat stuff with friends.” Well, he’s struck again. Literally. Latarian Milton was taken in for a mental health evaluation after he allegedly beat down his grandma inside a Wal-Mart in South Florida over some chicken wings.

Latarian’s grandma, Vikkita Stratford, told WPBF that it all started when he asked her to buy him some chicken wings at Wal-Mart. When she refused, Latarian ordered them anyway. Vikkita went to confront him and that’s when the party started.

She said, “He just started hitting me — just started hitting me in front of the whole Wal-Mart. Every one in there was upset.” Latarian was taken to a local hospital by police for a 72-hour mental health evaluation. Vikkita blames his parents. She said all he has “ever seen was his parents do physical and abusive and verbal things.”

She also worried about what might happen once he gets released. She better be! Vikkita better lock all her doors, sleep with a bat by her bed and keep a necklace of garlic around her neck. Scratch that garlic. He’ll just eat the garlic necklace right off of her.

I mean, he beat his grandma over Wal-Mart’s chicken wings? That shit isn’t even chicken! It’s probably rat meat. He beat his poor grandma over rat meat!

This is reason #456 on why I don’t have kids. The minute Latarian put his hands on me, I would immediately blackout. I would wake up in a padded room, in a straitjacket with a morphine drip in my arm.

VIA Crunk + Disorderly

Manorexic alert! The Sun is reporting that Colin Farrell is looking like Skeletor’s peen for a new movie. Colin has reportedly dropped tons of weight for his new movie, Triage. That’s funny, because the bitch looks like he’s in dire need of an IV. Maybe he’s on the Dreamboat Doherty diet?

A few months ago, Jodie Foster accepted an award and thanked her “beautiful Cydney, who sticks by me through all the rotten and the bliss.” Some think this was Jodie’s way of coming out and publicly acknowledging she likes to eat Cydney Bernard’s tartar sauce. Well, The National Enquirer (via DM) claims their beautiful lesbian union has come to an end! Hurry! Put on an Ani DiFranco song. I need some lesbian comfort.

A source didn’t say why Jodie ended her 14-year relationship with Cydney. They did say, “Jodie’s break up with Cydney is shocking. She and Cydney have been together for so many years and have two children together – the potential fallout and legal wrangling from this could be monumental.”

This is not supposed to happen. Lesbian couples never break up. The pyramids in Egypt will crumble, but lesbian relationships will live on for eternity. Seriously, lesbians stay together for like eons.

Hmm….who can we set Jodie up with now that she’s single? She needs someone younger, sexier and more feminine. I’m thinking Clay Gayken.

Thanks Lollipop

You see that little ring Halle Berry is sporting? Some say it’s an engagement ring from her hot sperm donor, Gabriel Aubry. Sources say Gabriel proposed to Halle with his grandmother’s ring, because he felt the time is right.

A source told Showbiz Spy, “Gabriel felt the time was right to propose. He gave her the family heirloom because he wanted to show her how much she means to him, and how she will be accepted into the Aubry family.” Uh huh and he’ll be accepted into the Berry fortune!

If I was Halle Berry – Well, if I was Halle Berry I would spend a few hours playing with my chichis in the mirror. After I finished with that, I would head on over to KMart and pick up a bike lock. I’d immediately fasten that lock over Gabriel’s dick! She better put it in the prenup that Gabriel must wear a dick lock at all times.

Even better, Halle should contact Playstation 3 to have Gabriel’s hot dick replaced with one of those thumb dicks. The sexiest thing he can do with a thumb dick is participate in a thumb wrestling match.

American Idol’s resident stoner, Jason Castro, said he’s not a stoner! Jason needs to stop joking and pass the joint already.

Jason told OK! Magazine, “I think that, especially with things like [Idol], people like to stereotype so easily. Just because a guy is really easy going… People have always said that [about me]. When I was younger I was real hyper and they’d think I was always drunk and I had never had a drink of alcohol until, like, last year. But the fact is I’ve never been high in my life!”

HA! Me neither! I’ve never been high in my whole entire life! My fingers started to shake when I was typing that. They were laughing at me.

If it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck and looks like a duck….it’s a STONER!