Brangie went shopping at a Toys “R” Us in Cannes and they didn’t buy us shit. They are rude ass whores. All I wanted was a super soaker. Super soakers work well when a regular enema doesn’t do the trick anymore.

Seriously, who knew there was a Toys “R” Us in Cannes? It’s also nice to see Angie in all black again. She’s been wearing too much color the past couple of days and I was starting to get worried. It’s just not the same if she doesn’t look like a pregnant Morticia Adams.

Yosuke the parrot isn’t just a pretty face, he’s also one smart bird. Yosuke flew out of his cage in Tokyo and got lost. Police rescued him from a roof in the city of Nagareyama, near Tokyo. Yosuke was taken to a veterinary hospital while police tried to find his owners.

A few days later, Yosuke started to blab to the vet. He told the vet, “I’m Mr. Yosuke Nakamura.” He then provided the vet with his full home address including the street number. Yosuke was returned to his owners, the Nakamura family. They told police they had been teaching Yosuke his name and address for about two years.

Damn! That bird is smarter than Jessica Simpson! I doubt that dumb slut knows her last name and her home address.

Source

Thanks Shyla

The Lohans (see below) aren’t the ones whoring out a reality show. Denise Richards is also doing the talk show circuit to promote her own show. It also looks like White Oprah and Denise buy their fugly sunglasses at the same joint. Pimp moms must love looking like whore bees.

Denise was on “Today” this morning where she claimed that Charlie Sheen faked an e-mail she allegedly wrote to his girlfriend.

The e-mail said, “I am having a baby in the next year. By myself…my girlfriend suggested Charlie be the donor … Charlie and I have very beautiful healthy children together. I was strictly looking for a sperm donor if it’s any of your business.”

Denise said, “It’s a doctored e-mail. I would never send an e-mail to his ex-girl..um… girlfriend, and, at the time of that e-mail, I was with Richie Sambora. If I wanted anybody’s sperm, I’d have asked for Richie’s.” Richie still has sperm? Newsflash! Please, Charlie didn’t doctor that shit, because he doesn’t know how. The only thing he knows how to do on the computer is watch porn.

Shortly after her “Today” interview, Charlie issued this statement to People, “I will no longer sit back and be egregiously painted as a liar. If any proof can be established that these are not in fact her words and statements verbatim, I openly invite her and would even encourage Ms. Richards to sue me in a court of law. She had an opportunity to tell the truth. She did not. Here is the proof.”

The fucking drama. It’s like they are characters on “Dynasty.” They really should settle this the “Krystle and Alexis” way – catfight in a lilly pond!

Denise was also on “The View” today and Whoopi Goldberg called her ass out for whoring her kids out. Denise acted like a snotty bitch and asked Whoopi if she’s seen the first episode, because her kids aren’t in it that much.

Whoopi should have punched that robot call girl on the head. How dare she fuck with Whoopi! Clip below:

First of all, can’t the Lohans skip a fake tanning session and use that money to buy their pooch a new crib. That shit is busted! At least it matches their skin – rough, patchy and used.

Ali Lohan and White Oprah are doing the talk show rounds promoting their reality show. Ali Lohan was on Letterman last night without her mommy. At the end of the interview, Letterman accidentally called her Lindsay Lohan. Can you blame him? Ali, Lindsay, White Oprah, they are all the same! I think it was more shocking when Ali declared she was 14-years-old. I still can’t get over that little fact. It still hits me like a HoHan car crash.

White Oprah and Ali were also on GMA this morning where they claimed they were a “normal” family. Normal to crackheads and hookers.

Click here to see Letterman call Ali “Lindsay”
Click here to see the full Letterman interview
Click here to see W.O. and Ali on GMA

Lohan overload! I need a bath. Below are some pics of Ali outside Letterman yesterday and with her mother outside GMA this morning.

Got Milk? ads must end! I seriously do not need to know what Martha Stewart’s face looked like after prison bukkake. It’s not a good thing.

They need to get people that actually look natural with jizzstaches. I’m thinking Clay Gayken, Wonky McValtrex, Gay Al and Daisy Duck. Daisy Duck is a Disney creation which means she’s a tramp which means she loves bukkake.

And who the hell drinks milk straight up anymore? It gives me the ass leaks. Yes, more than usual! Shut your damn hole!

Source: ONTD

Creepy piece of trash, Lou Pearlman, was sentenced to 25 years in the chokey today for cheating investors and banks out of more than $300 million. Lou, the asshole who launched the Backstreet Boys and N’Sync, tried to delay his sentencing to allow time to launch his latest pop group, US 5. His attempt was unsuccessful. Lou pleaded guilty to the charges last March.

Reuters reports:

In an audacious two-decade-long scam, Pearlman enticed individuals and banks to invest millions of dollars in two companies that existed only on paper and won the confidence of investors with strong but fake financial statements created by a fictitious accounting firm, according to his plea agreement.

U.S. Judge G. Kendall Sharp held up a book with letters from Pearlman’s victims, saying they included “his family, his close friends and people in their 70s and 80s who have lost their life savings.”

“So the sympathy factor doesn’t run high with the court,” Sharp said.

Unfortunately, the court refused Lou’s request to serve his entire sentence in juvenile hall. Oh well, you can’t blame a pedo for trying.