Animal Print Again….

/ May 22, 2008

I was beginning to think that Sharon Stone was over her addiction to animal print and dead animals. Relapse! She needs to be thrown into rehab along with Jocelyn Wildenstein for their obsession with wearing and looking like animals.

Sharon is really starting to look like one of those hags from “The Real Housewives of Orange County.” I know Sharon does not want to turn into Lauri Waring, but that’s where she’s heading.

Anyway, here’s Shar at amFar’s Cinema Against AIDS event in France. Other guests included Natalie Portman who wore a dress by Brawny and Madonna who wore one of Tootsie’s old ones.

Read more…

Crazy Hot

/ May 22, 2008

I don’t care if Juliette Lewis worships aliens, bathes in barley water and howls at Mars – I love her crazy ass! I’d even go to the dark side for her. FUCK. I was joking! Hell, I’m a goner. I’m totally Tommy Girl’s next wife.

Here’s Juliette acting the fool on a yacht in Cannes yesterday. That’s what Scientology does to you!

Read more…

Tommy Girl Always Finds Something To Cry About

/ May 22, 2008

Tommy Girl is not happy with baby boutique Petit Tresor for allegedly talking to the tabloids about his spending habits. Tommy had his lawyers send a cease and desist letter to the store.

The letter accuses the store of telling the tabloids that TomKat spent $350k – $400k on Suri’s wardrobe over the last two years. Tommy’s whores said the information is wrong and it violates their clients’ confidentiality.

His lawyers also told the store to keep their mouths shut about TomKat’s shopping habits. If the store doesn’t comply with Tommy Girl’s order, they will die a terrible death. Ok, they didn’t say the last part.

Please! Suri doesn’t wear that off-the-rack trash! She only wears custom couture from Paris! I bet the $400k was spent on satin diapers for Tommy Girl. The silky material against his bare nalgas makes him feel like the sexy lady he is.

Source: TMZ

Read more…
SHARE

It Makes Sense

/ May 22, 2008

A spokesbitch for the Olsen trolls has denied the rumor that an evil barista at Starbucks has secretly been trying to fatten them up. The rumor is that a former barista at a Starbucks in NYC’s West Village regularly put whole milk into the twins’ Grande nonfat lattes instead of skim milk.

A source told OK! (via The Scoop), “The barista thought the Olsens were too thin, so whenever they ordered their usual drink, he would replace the skim milk with full-fat.

This explains everything. No wonder the Olsen trolls look obese.

I bet evil barista also used to work at Starbucks in L.A. I’m sure he regularly replaced the whole milk in Brit Brit’s frapps with whole meth. Makes sense.

Read more…
Tags: ,
SHARE

Is She Giving Up Fish Too?

/ May 22, 2008

Oprah has announced to the world that she’s just started a 21-day diet detox. Oprah is going vegan for 21 days which means no animal products. That means fish too. I’m sure Gayle King has a lot of questions for her bff.

People reports that Oprah is also banning caffeine, sugar, gluten and booze. Booze?! How is that even possible? What is the point of living!? Wait, does rubbing alcohol count as booze? I heard you can get a quick buzz from that shit.

O was inspired by Kathy Freston’s book Quantum Wellness. She plans to blog about the entire process.

She wrote on her website, “This 21-day cleanse gives me a chance to think about [eating] differently and see what my attachments are to certain kinds of foods – and what I’m willing to do to change. Don’t know if I’m going to feel better or worse, but I’m willing to try to see if my body at least feels differently.”

She’s already enjoying nasty crap like strawberry rhubarb wheat-free crepes.

I would go on a 21-day detox too if I had someone cooking all my meals for me and wiping my nasty ass when I get the runny runs.

Read more…
Tags: ,
SHARE

Agree To Disagree

/ May 22, 2008

John McCain is on Ellen Degeneres’ show today (taped yesterday) and she brought up the subject of gay marriage. Dun dun dun! Ellen started by saying that she wanted to address ” the elephant in the room.” I was expecting Mike Huckabee to come out with glazed donuts. Unfortunately, that didn’t happen.

Johnny doesn’t believe in gay marriage. Duh. Ellen used the opportunity to voice her opinion, “I think that it is looked at and some people are saying the same that blacks and women did not have the right to vote. Women just got the right to vote in 1920. Blacks didn’t have the right to vote till 1870. It just feels like there’s this old way of thinking (that) we are not all the same. We are all the same people. All of us. You’re no different than I am. Our love is the same.” Ellen is right. We are all the same people. Well, except for Paris Hilton. She’s a dirty animal.

Ellen went on to say, ” It sounds to me like saying well you can sit there (points in one direction), you just can’t sit there (points in another direction). That’s what it sounds like to me. It doesn’t feel inclusive. It feels isolated. It feels like we aren’t owed the same things and the same wording.”

John responded, “I’ve heard you articulate that position in a very eloquent fashion. We just have a disagreement and I, along with many, many others wish you every happiness.” Lies.

Ellen finished with a joke, “Thank you. So you’ll walk me down the aisle? Is that what you said?

McCain doesn’t believe in gay marriage and I don’t believe in him. We’re even. And to think, I was going to invite his pasty ass to my upcoming Xanadu-themed California wedding. I really wanted to see him in velour chocha cutters and roller skates. He can stop checking the mail for his invitation! It ain’t coming.

Visit Towleroad to see the video

Read more…

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >