Shauna Sand is an inspiration to mothers everywhere. She proves that you can be a devoted mother and a ravishing beauty at the same time. You don’t have to compromise. How does she do it?

Although, I’m disappointed with her. Her daughters are old enough to be wearing matching lucite heels. Shauna, it’s never too early to teach your daughters about elegance and luxury. Pass the torch.

Here’s Shauna with her three daughters at Christian Audigier’s 50th Birthday party last night in Los Angeles.

Let’s check up on our little Crackie of Camden to see what she’s up to. Hmm….looks the usual. A whole lot of crazy, crackhead behavior. It’s springtimes which means that a lot of us are dumping out the old and cleaning the veggie spunk from underneath our fridges. That’s exactly what Wino did last night……at midnight. Hey, midnight is the crackhead’s noon.

Wino dressed up for the occasion in pink rubber clothes and protected her crackhive with a curtain. Seriously, it must have been a curtain. A regular handkerchief wouldn’t cover that mess!

She later asked the paps if she could have some money to pay her driver. She repaid the paps by giving them clothes from her house that she was throwing out. Paid back in toxic materials! The paps could have probably gotten enough coke residue off her clothes to make an 8-ball to sell back to her. That’s what I would’ve done.

If her singing career doesn’t work out, Wino could be the next host of “How Clean Is Your House?”

Margarita Pracatan – Cuban singer and Manhattan Public Access star!

For Esdaile

Bob Dylan (67)
Billy Gilman (20)
Will Sasso (33)
Heavy D (41)
John C. Reilly (43)
Kristin Scott Thomas (48)
Roseanne Cash (53)
Alfred Molina (55)
Jim Broadbent (59)
Priscilla Presley (63)
Patti Labelle (64)
Tommy Chong (70)

First of all, I love the lady in the middle of those two leathery assholes in the picture above. She’s hot. Anyway……

TMZ got a hold of several taped phone conversations between Nick Hogan and his family from jail. Yes, they tape that shit in jail, so keep your mouth shut the next you get arrested for DUI or prostitution. I know how you do it.

In one conversation with his mother, Nick starts balling like a hungry baby, because he wants to go outside. He doesn’t even have a window! How am I going to sleep tonight knowing that poor Nick Hogan can’t even look at the moon?

I’m sure the real reason he’s crying has to do with his newly raw asshole. It’s ok, Nick. The pain goes away after a few days. I’m speaking from experience, of course.

Nick also says that it’s unfair he’s in jail for a “car accident.” He fails to mention the fact that his so-called best friend, John Graziano, is in a permanent vegetative state thanks to him. Click here to hear that conversation.

Even worse is a conversation Nick had with his daddy about John Graziano. Hulk actually said, “God laid some heavy shit on that kid, I don’t know what he was into.” Nick responds with, “He was a negative person.” Nick quickly changes the subject by talking about some stupid ass reality project. Click here to hear that conversation

Eeesh. These chewed up pieces of jerky acted like they were so concerned during Nick’s hearing. They cried about how John was a son to them and blah…blah…blah… Are they for real? We all know the answer to that one.

On that note, it’s boozing time! I’ll make sure to NOT think of Nick crying for mommy’s fake bosom in his teeny tiny cell while I’m downing my 5th martini.

Vh1 has released the 5-minute long trailer of “I Love Money” aka “I Love STDs.” This shit is like the Real World/Road Rules Challenges but skankier. That’s hard to believe, because I’m pretty sure the RW/RR Challenges gave me a bad case of the clap.

I Love Money pits the whores of Flavor of Love, Rock of Love and I Love New York against each other as they battle it out for a $250,000. They can buy a lot of valtrex and Plan B with that money!

The show looks like it has everything any amazing reality should have: douche sex, screaming matches for no reason, overuse of the word “bitch” and Heather Chadwell! Ok, the show is missing three very important things. I’m talking about New York, Hottie and Lacey.

This shit is going to be a mess.

Click here if you can’t see the vid above

Thanks Sadie