Fergie Fires Back

/ May 27, 2008

The Original Fergie has had it with the British press trashing her 19-year-old daughter’s ass. Fergie has spoken out about a comment made by Allison Pearson of the Daily Mail. Allison had this to say about pictures of Princess Beatrice in a bikini, “Can’t someone buy that girl a sarong? For her sake, as well as ours.

Yup, that’s all she said. That’s fucking Disney shit compared to what you’re probably thinking. Hopefully, Fergie can’t read minds or we’ll all get a royal beat down.

Fergie told the NYDN during a press conference for her new reality show, “Touch me, fine, but don’t touch my children. This woman (Pearson), I would like to go to her house, to see her family. Should we focus on her derriere?” FYI, here’s what Allison Pearson looks like. She looks like she could possibly take down Fergie. Cage fight! Just don’t invite Princess Bea, because she could take them all down with one quick assbutt.

Allison stands by her comment and said she never called Bea fat but expressed “a less-than-flattering, if widespread, thought about an unfortunate bikini.

Fergie went on to say, “The press has been absolutely outrageous, and really being very mean about the size of her figure, calling her such horrible names. I think her (Beatrice’s) comment was, ‘Will they be happy if I get anorexia because then they could write about that, wouldn’t they?‘” She said her daughter is a size 10 and is perfectly healthy.

Sticks and stones! Princess Bea is a hot BBW who can probably make chicken paillard with her ass cheeks. Allison is just jealous. She wishes she had those skills.

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So Long, Oscar

/ May 27, 2008

One of the most famous dogs in London, Oscar the German Shepherd, passed away after a three-year battle with cancer. Oscar was dubbed the “Met Bar” dog, because he used to hang around exclusive celebrity joints. Oscar and his owner, Dennis Gill, sold “Big Issue,” a magazine sold by homeless vendors, outside bars and restaurants in London. Celebrities would buy the magazine and then pose for a picture with Oscar.

He posed with every from Dustin Hoffman to George Clooney to Carmen Electra. I think he even had an affair with Carmen. He broke her heart.

It comes in threes. Dick Martin, Sydney Pollack and now Oscar. Sadness.

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Figures

/ May 27, 2008

Why do these celebrity twats always date their co-stars? It’s bad enough having to see the same bitch all day at work and then you have to see them at home and on the weekends? Variety is the spice of life!

Gossip Girl twinkies, Blake Lively and Penn Badgley, are doing each other in real life. They are probably too dumb to realize the difference between real life and fake life. They totally call each other by their character names.

Here’s Blake and Penn holding hands and drinking Shrek jizz in NYC yesterday.

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Wino In Pampers?!

/ May 27, 2008

Today is not the day for this kind of fuckery. Amy Wino is wearing diapers now? I need to lay down. There’s an explanation for this! That’s not a diaper! It’s an oversized maxi-pad, because she has a heavy flow. It’s anything but a diaper. Somebody tell me she’s not wearing diapers! I’ll believe you.

It’s all fun and games until somebody loses their shit. She could have at last worn Pull-Ups. She’s a big kid now. NO! I can’t.

Anyway, let’s think about something else. Let’s think about Amy Wino beating down one of the paps. Yeah, that’s a better picture. Wino returned from visiting Blaaake in the chokey last night when she decided to take her anger out on a pap. She grabbed his camera and reportedly hit at him. She lost her shit again. NO! I need to stop.

That reminds me, I should go and change my diaper. Hey! It’s for medical reasons. I have a doctor’s note!!

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Morning Wood

/ May 27, 2008

You know how people say most girls look better without make-up? Karina Smirnoff is not one of those girls – I’m Not Obsessed

ALF bloopers – SOW

Two in one! Mimi’s new husband is also her new assistant – Celebitchy

Why is Kiki so happy? – Lainey Gossip

Nicole Kidman’s Australia trailer – Popbytes

Joel Madden said Baby Harlow likes The Cure – ICYDK

Zooey Deschanel in Blackbook – Popoholic

Brit Brit is a purdy woman – Pink is the New Blog

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