Eva Longwhoria Porker was back in Corpus Christi, TX today to serve Frosties at a Wendy’s she used to work in when she was a teenager. What a way to fug up a delicious Frosty!

Eva served that shit for 1 hour today to kick off the Father’s Day Frosty Weekend, an event to generate funds for the Dave Thomas Foundation for Adoption. Wendy’s will donate 50 cents from every Frosty sold.

Seriously, what is up with these annoying fugs thinking they have the right to serve delicious frozen treats. Tori Spelling served ice cream last week and Eva’s serving Frosties this week. What’s next? Sarah Jessica Parker handing out Fudgie the Whale cakes at Carvel?

Katie Holmes is in NYC preparing for her Broadway debut in “All My Sons.” Tommy Girl did not come! Who’s going to grab on to her and yank her into the car? Who’s going to reprogram her when she tries to run away? And who’s going to tell Tommy Girl that he’s the “greatest power bottom in the universe” every night before bedtime? You know he’s programmed Katie to say that.

A year ago, I would’ve told Katie to catch the next Chinatown bus out of that bitch and escape TG forever, but the girl is too far gone now. Katie’s transformation into Tommy Girls’ robot beard of his dreams is complete!

These two people are Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie impersonators. Yes, they actually make a living out of pretending to be Brangelina even though they look nothing, I mean nothing, like them. They look like your two co-workers dressing as Brangelina for the office Halloween party. What a fuck effort! The Angelina impersonator ain’t got shit on Tiffany Claus. They aren’t fooling anybody. Well, they could probably fool Shiloh, because she doesn’t see her parents that often.

The broke ass Brangie attended the 17th Annual Reel Awards last night in Las Vegas. It’s like the Oscars for impersonators.

Feast your eyes on more fake asses below. Some of them have their shit together (Chevy Chase) and others just need to quit the game already.

TEETH! Vintage Miley Cyrus pictures – Just Jared

Celine Dion uses a lot of water – IDLYITW

Jared Leto is not dating Jessica Simpson – Popsugar

Scary Spice’s hot bikini ass (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

A Pamela Anderson upskirt. Don’t worry, she’s wearing panties – Hollywood Tuna

Ruthie from 7th Heaven is a MySpace slut – Egotastic!

Jason Lewis’ ex-girlfriend was a smelly bitch – A Socialite’s Life

Australian Olympic diver comes out – Towleroad

WTH is Milla Jovovich wearing? – Hollywood Rag

Celebrity Photoshop disasters – Cityrag

Tori the Hutt has been confirmed as a guest star on “90210.” It was rumored that Tori would make a cameo as Donna Fartin’ in the pilot along with dumb bitch Kelly Taylor. Tori told People, “Donna loved designing and wanted a career in fashion. It’ll be fun to explore that storyline. And, I’m sure fans will be dying to know if she’s still married to David!” She’s not still married to David, because she accidentally ate him.

A rep for the show said Donna Martin owns “one of the coolest stores in Beverly Hills.” This show has already failed and it hasn’t even started shooting. What the hell was the name of Donna’s clothing store in the original show? That place was a dump! It looked like a Clothestime outlet. Donna should come back to the show as the new janitor of West Beverly. That would make more sense.

Tori went on to say, “When they say you can’t go home again, its not true. I’m headed back to the zip code I know best and couldn’t be happier!” It’s a shame the postal code she knows best isn’t H0H 0H0 (google it).

Pete Wentz thinks he’s a comedian. He walked around yesterday wearing a paper plate on his face which read: “Your ad could be here… Email: Jon@douchebag.com.” Don’t go to douchebag.com! It’s a porn portal. Great, Petey is sending the kiddies to a porn site.

Now if we can just get his wifey to wear one of those over her face.