Thank you Gawker for introducing me to my new favorite website of the second. Cat ladies is just like Man Babies but with more pussy. When you get home tonight, take a deep bong hit and try to switch their heads with your eyes. I’ve just spent a good 20-minutes trying to do this. No, I have nothing better to do. No, I am stoned. Yes, I am easily entertained.

I’ve probably programmed my brain to only see people with pussy heads from now on. Score!

Mimi throws like a ho – Hollywood Tuna

ScarJo is naked. In theory – Egotastic!

Your very own pet Paul Rudd – Towleroad

Jessica Biel looks like death – IDLYITW

Hilary Duff’s obvious boob job – Cityrag

Usher whines about his fake marriage – A Socialite’s Life

Jenna Jameson is looking better? – Hollywood Rag

The Baldwin brothers are drunk (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Clive and Julia’s Roman holiday – Popsugar

David Cook is dating Kimberly Caldwell, but he looks better with David Archuleta – Just Jared

Thanks to that hot bitch Chelsea Handler for mentioning Dlisted on her show this past Monday night.

Is UsWeekly paying Spencer and Heidi or is it the other way around? I can’t figure it out, but I’m grateful for their unholy union. This cover is amazing. UsWeekly needs to keep this shit coming. This is like a harlequin romance novel. I can’t wait for the cover that reads, “Exclusive! Heidi and Spencer catch the Bubonic Plague. Their final moments together!”

The inside quotes are even better. Spencer said, “Heidi read me biblical passages like ‘Honor thy wife.'”

Please tell me Danielle Steele and Christopher Guest are both behind this.

Thanks Rosina

Gary Dourdan pleaded guilty to two counts of cocaine and Ecstasy possession in an Indio, CA courtroom today. The heroin charge was thrown out for whatever reason. Hold up! Didn’t this fool claim the drugs weren’t his? In any case, he dodged jail time and was ordered to complete a drug program. When he finishes the program, all charges will be dropped. He’ll be freeeee!

Last month, the fuzz found Gary sleeping in his car on the wrong side of the street. They searched his car and found cocaine, heroin and ecstasy. Partay! He was arrested. Not a partay 🙁

Gary’s lawyer said, “He very much regrets what happened and he’s very embarrassed by what occurred, but he’s looking forward to moving on and getting back to work. He is very grateful to the court for being understanding and giving him an opportunity to resolve the issue and move forward.” …and do more drugs. Okay, he didn’t say the last part.

Over the weekend I posted some dumb ass story about a couple of ultra-conservative political bloggers freaking out over a Dunkin’ Donuts ad starring Rachael Ray. They were upset over the scarf Rachael wore in the ad. They believed it to be a keffiyeh.

Fox News commentator and blogger, Michelle Malkin, wrote on her blog, “The keffiyeh, for the clueless, is the traditional scarf of Arab men that has come to symbolize murderous Palestinian jihad.”

At first, DD shrugged off the accusations and said it was just a scarf. However, I guess they got more complaints, because the ad was pulled. They issued this statement to The Boston Globe, ‘‘In a recent online ad, Rachael Ray is wearing a black-and-white silk scarf with a paisley design. It was selected by her stylist for the advertising shoot. Absolutely no symbolism was intended. However, given the possibility of misperception, we are no longer using the commercial.”

Michelle Malkin is happy about DD’s decision. She wrote, “It’s refreshing to see an American company show sensitivity to the concerns of Americans opposed to Islamic jihad and its apologists. Too many of them bend over backward in the direction of anti-American political correctness…. Fashion statements may seem insignificant, but when they lead to the mainstreaming of violence — unintentionally or not — they matter. Ignorance is no longer an excuse. In post-9/11 America, vigilance must never go out of style.”

Can Malkin also go after all the hipsters wearing these scarves at the bars I go to? Ban their asses, so I can finally have somewhere to sit. Seriously, they take all the good bar stools.

I’m sure DD won’t make this mistake again! For their next commercial, they’ll make Rachael will wear an American flag bikini. Fuck. I just gave them an idea.

Thanks Prestodan

Shiloh Nouvel Jolie-Pitt turned 2 yesterday and two of the weeklies celebrated by putting her on their covers! Yay! This week, Star Magazine takes us inside Brangie’s House of 1,000 Brats. I think we’ve heard this all before, but let’s go over it again for old times’ sake. Here are some of the juicy tidbits the nanny told Star:

The kids eat pizza and chocolate for breakfeast – Delicious!
The kids have regular screaming matches – Loud!
The kids have regular dart-gun wars – Dangerous!
The kids all speak in different languages (Maddox only speaks in French) – International!
The kids will all be in the delivery room when Angie gives birth – Chaotic!
The kids take baths late at night and get water everywhere – Wet!
Brad and Angie like to skinny dip at 2am – Sexy!

I think I’m more shocked to learn that Brit’s kids love her.

Shiloh’s “lonely world” also made the cover of Life & Style. Shiloh’s life is about to get lonelier, because they are totally going to lose her ass in their 500 room mansion.