I read this story about Harry Ford and Calista Flockhart getting engaged and it said he was 65. That old ass pepaw is only 65?! I’m not joking. I seriously thought the pepaw was at least 85. At least. Wasn’t he like 40 when he did the Star Wars movie?s And Calista is only 43! Damn, these two whores are sucking out each other’s youth. Let’s hope they never have babies because Calista will give birth to a 30-year-old. You know Harry has some aged sperm.

Anyway, Harry and Calista are reportedly engaged. Sources say he popped the question on April Fool’s Day. Never trust a bitch that will ask you to marry him on April Fool’s Day. She should have that ring checked out STAT. It’s probably made from recycled coke bottles.

The source said the couple of 5-years plan to get married this summer. This will be Harry’s third marriage and Calista’s first. I hope they dress up his walker with pretty flowers and shit. There’s no way he’s going to be able to stand at the alter without some help.

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I’m convinced that Marc Jacobs is playing a big ass joke on Posh. One night, he’s going to invite her to a big party and hang all her fugly ads all over the room. She’s going to walk in and he’s going to shout “Punk’d!!!” and everyone will start laughing at her. She’ll try to cry, but we know that bitch can’t produce tears. If she did cry, her skin would quickly suck it up. She has the Sahara desert on her face.

She looks like a Stepford wife who got a shot of the bad shit. I hope this bitch is getting paid a grip to make a foolio of herself!

Clay Gayken really does shake ovaries! Ugh. That made me sick. TMZ reports that Gayken is going to be mama je’e. More like a gaya je’e. Sources tell them that Gayken’s best friend, 50-year-old Jaymes Foster, is knocked up with his spawn! She’s the sister of David Foster and is also a music producer herself. She’s produced several of Gayken’s records and now she’s producing his baby.

Jaymes is a divorcee with no kids. She’s apparently due in August. She was artificially inseminated with Gayken’s sperm and he plans to take an active role in the kid’s life.

Great. This is going to make those 50-year-old Claymates in mom jeans even crazier. They are going to shake their ovaries at Gayken hoping he will impregnate their old asses.

Below is a picture of the two proud mommies.

Admit it. You love their fakery – Egotastic!

Clive Owen shirtless. Enough said – Popsugar

Maria Sharapova’s anal sex faces (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Cate Blanchet said what? – IDLYITW

Sienna Miller is “totally in love” with that shaggy-haired blonde dude – Just Jared

Ceiling eyes and her hills – Hollywood Tuna

The Hoff in a seriously sexy shirt – Hollywood Rag

Celebrities separated at birth – Cityrag

David Cook comes out on top – A Socialite’s Life

Wino goes to Cambridge…..sort of – The Bastardly

Miley Cyrus’ “first kiss” photo worth $150k? – Defamer

It was rumored that Nicole Kidman was going to pose nude and knocked up for a magazine shoot shot by Patrick Demarchelier. Nicole has denied she’s going to take it all off. Hmmm…. I wonder why? Is her pillow camera shy?

Nicky said, “‘It’s total nonsense. It was not that kind of a shoot. It’s madness to think I did that or was even asked to do that. I’m just looking forward to having and caring for our baby.”

They probably tried to shoot her nude, but the Photoshop and CGI technology needed to make it look real hasn’t been invented yet.

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