Eva Mendes reportedly went to rehab to “research” a film role, Kiki Dunst said she went to rehab for depression and now Steven Tyler is saying he went to rehab to recover from a foot boo boo. I swear, these whores excuses are getting more elaborate? What’s next? Going to rehab because you heard their meat lasagna was delicious? Going to rehab because you really love the scent of detoxing junkies in the morning?

Steven checked into Dr. Drew’s rehab clinic earlier this month and it was claimed he was receiving treatment for a substance abuse problem. Steven’s blaming his foot!

He said in a statement issued to People, “The ‘foot repair’ pain was intense, greater than I’d anticipated. The months of rehabilitative care and the painful strain of physical therapy were traumatic. I really needed a safe environment to recuperate where I could shut off my phone and get back on my feet. Make no mistake, Aerosmith has no plans to stop rocking. There’s a new album to record, then another tour.”

He’s a fucking rock star! He should have just lied and said he was addicted to coke, booze, beastilaity and looking like Janice Dickinson. You know, rock star shit! Instead, he admits he’s got the old people disease!

Lisa from Top Chef – Don’t let this picture fool you! This slut isn’t that friendly. Those mushrooms are probably grenades.

Wynonna Judd (44)
Devendra Banhart (21)
Cee-Lo Green (34)
Idina Menzel (37)
Trey Parker (37)
Tonya Pinkins (46)
Paul Cameron (50)
Ted McGinley (50)
Colm Meaney (55)
Ruta Lee (72)

I was busy getting drunk in a bar when I read that Harvey Korman died. At first, I thought it was Harvey Keitel and I wanted to slap a bitch for no reason. Actually, that’s a good idea. Tomorrow, I’m just going to walk up to some stranger, slap them and say, “This is for Harvey Korman!”

Anyway, Harvey died today at the age of 81. Harv passed away at UCLA Medical Center after suffering complications from the rupture of an abdominal aortic aneurysm four months ago.

One of his daughters told CNN, “It was a miracle in itself that he survived the incident at all. Everyone in the hospital referred to him as ‘miracle man’ because of his strong will and ability to bounce right back after several major operations. Tragically, after such a hard-fought battle, he passed away.”

In case you don’t know, Harv is best known for “The Carol Burnett Show, ” ” and “Blazing Saddles”The Flinstones in Viva Rock Vegas.” Ok, he’s not best known for the last one, but I love that piece of trash movie.

Seriously, all the good have been going lately! If Charlotte Rae is next, I swear I’ll jump out the window.

Harvey Korman forever! May he rest in peace.

There’s too many awesome Korman clips to post, but here’s one of him with Tim Conway:

Yesh, I would. Only because it’s rumored that the dick is major. I would have to sit in a bath of nail polish remover afterwards to get the Simpson smegma off of me.

We would also have to “shave ‘n fuck.” That hairy patch on his belly is distracting. I don’t mind landing strips, but that shit needs a little maintenance. I bet his peen bush is like the damn amazon jungle. You need a machete to get through that mess. I guess Jenny Aniston doesn’t mind pubies between her teeth. Beggars can’t be choosers!

Here’s John in Hawaii this past weekend. Jenny wasn’t with him. He needed to spend time with the “boys.”

Lauren Hutton was on “Today” this morning with Kathie Lee to discuss dry vaginas or something like that. No, I don’t know why her ass was on. Anyway, the topic of “Sex and the City” came up. Lauren said she’s never seen the show, but she decided to babble about it anyway.

She said, “It’s written by guys, who happen to be gay, who are sluts. That’s what I think. Let’s face it most men are sluts. That’s what testosterone is supposed to do. As a hunter, if you stayed alive after 30, nature wanted your genes out there. Women were just trying to get the best sperm to make a masterpiece. You have a bunch a guys who are sluts, writing for women and telling them they are supposed to act like this.”

Gappy finished with, “I’ve never seen the show. Are the girls like that or not?” She’s never seen the show, but she thinks all the chicks on it are boning night and day? This ho needs to sit in the corner and finish her shredded wheat. Did somebody spike her Metamucil?

If the women of SATC are sluts then what am I? What’s sluttier than a slut? Paris Hilton? The only official member of The Slut Club on that show was Samantha.

What’s wrong with being a slut anyway? She’s right about one thing. Most men are sluts. Being a dirty slut is a beautiful thing. Having no morals means you have more fun.

Also, what the hell does she mean when she said “women were just trying to get the best sperm to make a masterpiece.” Gayken’s baby mama (see below) must be trying to make a Picasso then.

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