Double the chin, double the fug! Jessica Simpson goes cuntry – Just Jared

Mischa Barton is missing. Um…that’s probably a good thing – IDLYITW

Heidi Klum pretends to eat McDonald’s (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Liev Schreiber is one fine, hairy daddy – Just Jared

Lezzy Lohan’s presence did nothing for Ugly Betty’s ratings – Popsugar

Sarah McLachlan in a two-piece! That’s not something I though I’d ever write – Egotastic!

Supernanny’s advice for Brit Brit – Hollywood Rag

King Fu Kitty is a bad ass pussy – Cityrag

Jacko is doing us all a favor by covering up his death mask – A Socialite’s Life

Chuck Bass’ private pictures. Unfortch, there’s no pictures of him wearing an ascot and nothing else – Lainey Gossip

This is a continuation to this and this post. Let’s try and get the Brangie related posts up to 20 today! If this happens, the sky will suck us in, ending our misery once and for all. So….that woman who is knocked up with twins didn’t give birth this week after all. Well, that’s if you believe her spokeswhore.

They told People, “Angelina has not given birth. She is fine, enjoying her home and her family in France.”

In case you were doing something better (anything is better) and missed the rumors, Angie supposedly popped out Jesus and Buddha in France earlier this week. The rumor was that she named them Isla Marcheline and Amelie Jane. This is not true. I think. Ugh. I don’t know who to believe?

Maddox! Tell me what to think. I need your guidance. It was probably Maddox that tricked the press in the first place. He blamed it on Shiloh.

One of 50 Cent’s homes in Dix Hills, New York went up in flames early this morning and was completely destroyed. It’s not right, but now I’ve got “Burning Down the House” in my head and it won’t get out. 50’s 10-year-old son, Marquise, and his ex-girlfriend, Shaniqua Tompkins were sent to the hospital for smoke inhalation along with 4 other people. They were treated and released.

The Fire Department Chief doesn’t think the fire was accident. I bet the chief has a bushy moustache. They all do. He said that arson investigators were called in and there are currently no suspects.

The house has a dramatic history. Last month, 50 tried to throw out Shaniqua and his son from the home. He told her ass to pay him $4,500 in rent or she had to get the fuck out. Shaniqua filed a lawsuit claiming 50 promised to put the $1.4 million house in her name.

TMZ has a video of Shaniqua and 50 screaming at each other on the streets of Manhattan yesterday. I’ve been to the Baskin Robbins’ they are fighting in front of! They should have gone in and shared a cup of Jamoca Almond Fudge.

The fight occurred shortly after the two were being deposed at Shaniqua’s lawyer offices. During the depo, one of 50’s friends went crazy and started trashing the lawyer’s offices. A police report was filed.

50’s spokesbitch issued this statement to TMZ: “Informed this morning while filming a new motion picture on location in Louisiana, Curtis Jackson expressed deep concern over this fire at his property. He is extremely thankful that everyone including his son, Marquise, escaped the burning house safely. He is confident that authorities will be conducting a thorough investigation of the incident and is eager to review their findings.”

Damn….this shit is going to get interesting. I think it’s also time to put the batteries back into my smoke detector.

Image: Splashnewsonline.com

Go check your closet right now because there could be a ho living in there and you don’t even know it!

A 57-year-old dude in Japan knew something in the milk wasn’t clean when food started disappearing from his kitchen. He decided to figure out what the hell was going on by installing video cameras in the home where he lived alone.

The video cameras caught someone walking around when he wasn’t around. The man immediately called the po po. They searched his home and found a 58-year-old woman living in one of his closets. The police said the woman got a mattress and a couple of plastic bottles into the tiny space. I’m guessing the plastic bottles were for pee pee times.

The woman was arrested. She told police she had nowhere else to live. The po po think she lived there for about a year, but not for the whole time. They think she was closet-hopping from joint to joint.

This is my ultimate nightmare come true! This is some Grudge shit!

Wait, maybe there’s some creepy bitch living in my apartment and I don’t know it. A whole box of Oreos seems to go missing around 11pm every night…. It’s the closet witch! By “closet witch” I mean my stomach. That sneaky mofo.

Source

Thanks Shy

Here we go again….. ETonline is confirming the rumors that Brangelina’s golden twins have landed on earth from the heavens. Now, their confirmation came from a “source” close to Brangie and there’s been no official confirmation. You know the source is Jennifer Aniston. She’s effing with them. Jen is going to tell everyone Brangie named the babies, Home and Wrecker.

Anyway, I haven’t seen a flock of white doves cover the sky yet, so stay tuned….or don’t stay tuned and go eat a stuffed pizza instead. Mmmm….stuffed pizza.

Image Source: Kate Kretz

Forbes Magazine has put out a list of the “20 Hottest Young Royals” in the world. You know, because the oldie olsens at Forbes really know what’s hot and sexy. The mag only considered unmarried royals under the age of 35. Guess who was number 1? Nope, not Princess Buggy Eyes. Nope, not Prince Hot Ginge either. Prince Willy was number 1! RECOUNT! Prince Willy should have been number 19 and his bald spot should have been number 20.

The list should have looked like this:

1: Prince Hot Ginge!
2: Princess Bea
3. Clay Gayken (he is the biggest queen in the world)

Here’s how Forbes’ Top 10 looked:

1. Prince William (Britain)
2. Prince Harry (Britain)
3. Zara Phillips (Britain)
4. Princess Beatrice (Britain)
5. Charlotte Casiraghi (Monaco)
6. Sheikh Hamdan bin Mohammed bin Rashid al Maktoum (Dubai)
7. Princess Victoria (Sweden)
8. Prince Azim (Brunei)
9. Prince Carl Philip (Sweden)
10. Andrea Casiraghi (Monaco)

Visit CNN to see the rest of the list.

Thanks JenRo