Miguele Zarate from Bravo’s Step it Up and Dance

Heidi Klum (35)
Alanis Morissette (34)
Teri Polo (39)
Lisa Hartman Black (52)
Jonathan Pryce (61)
Ronnie Wood (61)
Brian Cox (62)
Morgan Freeman (71)
Pat Boone (74)
Andy Griffith (82)

White Oprah recently said that Lindsay and Samantha Ronson were “just friends.” Now she’s changing her tune. White Oprah wouldn’t confirm or deny the rumors to OK! Magazine. She only said, “If she’s happy, I’m happy. That’s all I’ll say. Samantha’s great. I’ve known her and her family for ten years.” Ugh! White Oprah would be the type of bitch that says “that’s all I’ll say” and then keeps yapping. Don’t her nasty ass gums ever get dry? She probably moisturizes them with Lindsay’s skin grease.

Please, White Oprah is so full of caca. She should have told the truth and said, “I don’t give a fuck who Lezzy eats as long as she keeps signing those checks.”

In other Lezzy news, White Oprah confirmed that her daughter was at the hospital yesterday for “asthma” issues. Yesterday, Lindsay’s rep lied and said she was just “visiting a friend” with SamRo.

White Oprah told People, “She was losing oxygen. She couldn’t breathe. She was afraid to go the hospital because [the paparazzi] were gonna write about it. She was sick. If you were sick, and you’re mother couldn’t even take you to a hospital because paparazzi will fabricate some story, you know, it’s sad. It’s really sad.” No, what’s sad is that White Oprah would have brought reality show cameras with her.

Asthma my ass! The dildo probably got stuck. It happens.

It took me like 10 times to count how many words made up “A Shauna Sand Reality Show.” Hopefully, I got it right. If not, suck it anyway. So….. Shauna Sand was outside some joint with her daughters last night looking like mother of the year. This woman is consistent. Consistently glamorous! Since Shauna is putting out a shoe collection, she really needs to make exquisite lucite heels for young girls. I hurt when I see Shauna Sand’s daughters wearing common chonklas and slip-ons.

Earlier in the day, Shauna was working her usual corner in Hollywood. No, she was getting some free crap at the Platinum Gifting Lounge at the W Hotel. Shauna showed up with her estranged husband, Romain Chavent. They were supposed to get divorced, but it looks like they fucked and made up. That’s not even the good news. Shauna told the photographer that she’s going to star in a reality show with her husband. The show will follow their journey of “falling back in love” together.

This sounds like the greatest television experience of all time. Shauna Sand, lucite heels, a hot French dude and a love story? Shauna better clear her mantle, because she’s going to get an Oscar, Grammy, Emmy, Nobel Peace Prize, Peabody Award and AVN Award for this shit! Amazing.

Here’s more pics of Shauna with her daughters last night and with her husband earlier in the day.

Hmmm….I wonder which one lives on the roof and which one lives in the basement? Hugh Jackman looks like a power bottom screamer. A screamer in wolf’s clothing.

Hugh and his lovely friend went for an early morning swim at Bondi Beach in Australia on Saturday. Unfortunately, they didn’t touch each other in front of the paps. Rude! They could at least kiss each other’s nipples. Just once!

The granny is back in her panties! Madonna has a new video out for “Give It 2 Me.” The beginning looks like an ad for American Apparel’s new senior citizens collection. The rest of the video is just Madonna dancing around and thrusting her memaw crotch. You know, any video with Pharrell in it can’t be that horrific.

If this shit gets pulled (which it will and I’m too lazy to babysit), click here for more.

Thanks Ceyhun