Hasn’t Suri Been Through Enough?

December 6, 2006 / Posted by:

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes will hold another wedding party this Saturday at the home of Paula Wagner, Tom’s producing partner. The party is being held for crazies that couldn’t attend their wedding in Italy.

Please, this is just another opportunity for Tom to show off how straight and in love he is. Tom wants to hold the party before he begins filming with Meryl Streep. Expects eleventy rolls of film like the last wreck produced. I hope Tom at least gets a decent blow-out this time.

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Is He Kissing Her Butt?

December 6, 2006 / Posted by:

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Dancing with the Stars runner-ups, Mario Lopez and Karina Smirnoff have denied a love affair between them. But on a recent vacation last month to Punta Mita the pair showed they are much more than friends.

A witness said, “She wrapped her legs around him, and they kissed for what seemed like ever. She was giggling and a little bit shy as he kissed her butt. Mario didn’t care and kept kissing her.”

I didn’t think Mario was the tossing the salad type. He’s probably sucking in her farts to be closer to her. Sorry, I’m really foul. I actually like these two together. They will have beautiful children or something.

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Bret Michaels to Star in “Flavor of Love” Type Show?

December 6, 2006 / Posted by:

This is the best idea! When they announced “Flavor of Love 2” I said that they should instead cast some aging rocker to star in the show. There’s nothing I love more than old, skanky rocker chicks. Well, looks like this is coming true. Bret Michaels is rumored to star in “Rock of Love” for Vh1. Idolator posted this casting notice:

VH1 and the producers of THE SURREAL LIFE and MY FAIR BRADY bring you the hottest relationship show ever… ”ROCK OF LOVE”.

CASTING: Twenty bachelorettes to live in a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and compete for the love of one of the 90’s HOTTEST ROCKERS. We are unable to announce who this single rocker is at this time, but…He is the real deal. A famous, sexy, bad boy rocker. He was the lead singer of a famous 90’s rock band and he still tours today!

Apparently, Bret Michaels is the name that is coming up the most. I mean this could be the best show ever. They really need to just go to a Harley Davidson convention to pick up their “ladies.” Thinks of the outfits! Leather thongs and studded bras. Awesome!

Lindsay Lohan Will Attend the Lighting of a Store Window

December 6, 2006 / Posted by:

Lindsay Lohan attended the Christmas window lighting of the Stella McCartney store in Beverly Hills last night. Kanye West was also on hand to flick the switch. How many celebs does it really take to flick a switch? She looked a little more bloated than usual, but perhaps that’s because she’s finally detoxing.

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Is Laura Lane the Real Reason for the Jen/Vince Split?

December 6, 2006 / Posted by:

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn announced yesterday that they are not together anymore. Their spokeswhores claim they broke-up a few weeks ago. Star Magazine is reporting that they did not break-up before Thanksgiving. Apparently, Jennifer begged Vince to fly from London (where he was shooting) to Los Angeles to spend the holiday with her. Vince shrugged her off and instead flew to Budapest where he met 20-year-old Laura Mallory Lane.

Laura is a junior at Trinity University in San Antonio, TX. Laura sent an e-mail to her friends saying she met Vince at a restaurant where he was dining. After dinner they had cocktails and then went back to Vince’s hotel room where they did the deed.

Jen apparently only found out a little while ago and this is the main reason for the split.

Hmm…this whole thing just doesn’t seem that big of a deal. Methinks the two might have never been together and now that the Break-Up DVD is out, their work is done! Jen is free to be miserable on the beach with her dogs and Vince is free to get fatter and greasier! I think the whole thing from beginning to end might have been one huge pr stunt!

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