Siegfried Fischbacher – One half of the gayest duo in history, “Siegfried & Roy.” It’s also his 69th birthday! Happy 69!

For Lisa

Ashley and Mary-Kate Olsen (22)
Chris Evans (27)
Ethan Embry (30)
Steve-O (34)
Rivers Cuomo (38)
Jamie Walters (39)
David Gray (40)
Lisa Vidal (43)
Tim Allen (55)
Stellan Skarsgard (57)
Malcolm McDowell (65)
Siegfried Fischbacher (69)

HoHan was back to kissing boys on the set of her new straight-DVD movie masterpiece today. Actually, they aren’t really kissing. They’re just touching lips for a long period of time. That’s some pilgrim shit! I hate when dumb sluts do that shit in movies and TV. I want to see open mouths and tongue! I mean, who kisses without tongue? Why bother!

At least HoHan’s pecking partner was kind enough to get a lesbian haircut in order to make her feel more at home.

Tommy Lee and Pamela Anderson are back together and giving their love another shit (typo, but keeping it). This is the 12,345th time they’ve tried to make it work, but who’s counting?

Tommy told Rolling Stone, “Pamela and the kids have moved in with me. It’s awesome, man. It’s definitely working. You can tell on the kids’ faces — they’re happy when we’re together.”

They’ve both fucked everyone else in Hollywood, what’s left to fuck? They should seriously just tie their genitals together and stay put! They are the hep love story of our time!

Romeo & Juliet, Antony & Cleopatra, King Arthur & Guinevere, Rhett & Scarlett and Pammy & Tommy. They totally fit.

Amy Wino is expected to wow a crowd in Russia tonight with her dead cat singing voice and heroin shake moves. According to Reuters, Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich has hired Wino to perform at the opening of his girlfriend’s art gallery. Wino is reportedly being paid $2 million for the gig. He could’ve just paid her in horse hair and crack rocks.

Why in the helly hell would you want Wino to sing at your party? She’s only going to show up hours late, curse out your guests, dedicate every song to her “Blaaaake,” fall off the stage, sneak bumps in between each song and accidentally expose her vaginahive at least once. Wait, that sort of sounds like my aunt at every family Christmas party. Crazy Russian billionaire should’ve hired my aunt instead! She would’ve done it for free! She loves attention and borscht.

Below are some pictures of Wino looking sexy hot while handing out ice pops to the paps. Don’t take candy from a stranger and don’t take ice pops from Wino.

A source on the set of the gay orgy known as “High School Musical” told Star Magazine that Cover Girl Zac Efron hates showering.

The source said, “Zac isn’t a big fan of showering. It’s so gross, because Zac loves to work out and plays basketball all the time — and then goes days without showering. When he gets lazy, he likes to clean himself with baby wipes!”

BABY WIPES?! Terrence Howard is in love.

Why bother showering when you’re basically made out of make-up? He just covers up the sweat with more foundation. Besides, bitch probably saves his “drop the soap” time for the gym.

Image: Fame