Amy Wino is probably having the time of her life in the hospital! She’s sampling all of their delicious drugs, talking about her Blaaaake for hours with the night nurses and eating all the ice pops she wants. And then Dr. DUH had to come in and rain on her crack party by telling her, “Quit drugs now — or die.”

Rain is wet, turtles are evil, Paris Hilton is a whore and Wino will OD. Dr. DUH seriously deserves some kind of award for that keen observation.

Wino is still in the hospital after she fainted in her home a couple of days ago. The Sun reports that last summer when the Wino had a seizure and overdosed, doctors told her crackie ass that brain scans revealed her problems were linked to drugs. They think her fainting spell this time is linked to her OD last summer. Yes, she still has a brain. Yes, they actually did a medical scan to tell her drugs are her problem. Even Harvey Price knows this bitch is a hardcore crackhead.

Friends have begged Wino to take time off to get better. She’s due to play Nelson Mandela’s birfday this month. Mitch Wino said his daughter is “doing fine.”

You know when Dr. DUH told her ass she was going to die, she said, “Umm…can I have a bump?”

Poor Crackie of Camden needs to be strapped down in a room full of priests with Billy Ocean music playing in the background. If Billy Ocean can’t chase the devil out of you, nothing can.

Muzzy! – This slut was created in the 80s by the BBC to teach English as a second language to kids.

For Nick

Eddie Cibrian (35)
Willa Holland (17)
Alison Moyet (47)
Andrea Evans (51)
Isabella Rossellini (56)
Carol Kane (56)
Roger Ebert (66)
Paul McCartney (66)

Nicole Kidman totally has her own personal Photoshop wizard, CGI artist and cartoonist to make her look stunningly frozen for photo shoots. She looks like she was made from a mixture of wax and Tommy Girl’s crusty sperm. Anyway, the interview is all pretty basic and boring, but Vogue did manage to ask her ass about the rumors that she’s faking her pregnancy.

Nicky just laughed at the question and said, “Just look at how I’m sitting here with my legs apart. This is the way you have to sit when you’re pregnant.” You know the pillow fell out when she spread her legs. Please, my legs are always spread. Does that mean I’m knocked up? Shit, probably.

Visit Style.com did read the rest of the interview. And here’s more of Nicky looking like a wax mannequin in an exhibit at the Natural History Museum.

71-year-old George Takei and his 54-year-old man of 21 years signed their lives away today in West Hollywood, CA. George and his honey bunny, Brad Altman, will marry on September 14th. They were among the first gays to pay $70 for a marriage license which is good for 90 days.

George told reporters outside, “It’s going to be the only day like this in our lives and it is the only day like this in the history of America. May equality live long and prosper.”

All this homo wedding shit is almost putting me in the mood, but I’m too much of a dumb slut to be legally promised to someone. I believe the only reason to marry a bitch is if they have more money than you. If they don’t, what’s the point?! I know, call me old-fashioned.

And “DAMN” at George being 71. Pepaw looks hot. There must be some anti-aging supplements in George’s sperm, because his man’s skin is almost perfect. George should bottle that shit. SuluJizz Cream!

And here’s some sad news….. Movie star and dancer, Cyd Charisse, passed away today at the age of 86. Her publicist said she was admitted to Cedars-Sinai in Los Angeles yesterday after she suffered an apparent heart attack.

She was born Tula Ellice Finklea on March 8, 1921. She starred in such films as “Ziegfeld Follies,” “Singin’ in the Rain,” “The Band Wagon,” “Brigadoon” and “Silk Stockings.” Band Wagon was always one of my favorites. You should definitely NetFlix it if you haven’t seen it.

She is survived by her husband of almost 60 years, Tony Martin, and her 2 children.

Rest in peace, Cyd…..

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