Mimi La Rue is DEAD! WHY?!!! WHY?!!!! Why didn’t God take Tori me instead?!!! Paula Abdul is right! There is no God! NOT TODAY! WHY?! FUCK! Now I finally have a reason to go outside and dick slap those damn birds that have been waking me up at 4 in the morning! I’m so upset!

It’s true. People has reported this truly awful news. She passed away from natural causes yesterday at the age of 11. She was surrounded by her family and died at home. Tori said, “She was a star and a true lady, and she will be missed greatly. People everywhere knew her by name. I loved when fans wanted her over me. I felt proud!” She was more of a lady than you’ll ever be, Tori!

Farewell, Mimi La Rue! You will be forever missed. Now if you’ll excuse me, I must go take out my anger and sadness on those noisy ass birds!

Gizz! Put your panties back on! – Egotastic!

Tom Brady is the luckiest douche in tall boy pants – Lainey Gossip

Tila Tequila is so eloquent – IDLYITW

Is Hilary Duff knocked up or something? – Hollywood Tuna

Jeremy Piven’s wig adjuster – Cityrag

A Thai school creates a special bathroom for trannies – Towleroad

More of Becks in his panties is on its way – Popsugar

Salma Hayek covers up her chichis, but she’s still perfection – Just Jared

The many faces of Heidi Klum – Hollywood Rag

Lance Armstrong won’t admit to banging Kate Hudson (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

The always gracious Naomi Campbell has once again shown us all what a sweet and lovable person she truly is. Naomi was happily posing for pictures outside Cipriani in London when she suddenly turned into her normal, crazy self and started freaking out.

A source told The London Paper (via Showbiz Spy), “Suddenly Naomi flipped and started swinging her arms about manically. No one could work out what was wrong with her. She was shouting and screaming as her friends desperately tried to get her into the car. She was ranting incomprehensibly.”

Oh that Naomi! That’s just her way of saying “goodbye and have a good night.” At least nobody was killed or maimed this time. Naomi is improving! In her defense, you would be a grouchy bitch too if your hair suddenly decided to pack up and scream, “I quit this bitch!” Even Naomi’s hair can’t stand her ass!

Zsa Zsa’s pepaw toy, Prince Von Anhalt (or Prince Von A-hole as TMZ calls him) kept it classy while lunching at the Ivy. Seriously, do some whores just not give a fuck?! I’ve seen twats go in deep in the middle of a large crowd. Take that shit to the bathroom! I bet you some poor fool found a couple of German boogers in their cobb salad. Protein!

AC Slater had the audacity to try and recreate one of the iconic images that turned me gay! AC Slater could have stuffed a watermelon patch in his crotch and he still wouldn’t have come close to being as hot as Marky Marky circa 1992. AC looks like he was dipped ass grease.

For whatever reason, People Magazine has named AC Slater their “Hottest Bachelor.” Yeah, cheating and lie-telling is really hot.

Other douchebags on the list include Brody Jenner, David Cook, Terrence Howard, Brit Brit’s brother (for real), Gerard Butler, Bret Michaels (and his crabs), ScarJo’s twin brother and the twats from Gossip Girl.

What an illustrious list. The only tool they are missing is KFed.

A British chick was busted at an airport in Norway for trying to smuggle drugs into the country. This dumb bitch stuffed her wig full of coke and then glued it to her head. Wig mule! The customs agent knew something in the milk wasn’t clean when they saw her big ass wig coming their way.

Customs officials said, “The agent thought she had a great deal of hair and suspected that she was wearing a wig. The wig was examined and the agents found a bag of cocaine.” The official went on to say that the crazy woman kept screaming, “BLAAAAKE!”

The police had to take the 32-year-old genius to the hospital to have her wig removed. The court ordered the woman to be held until her July 15th court date.

Check Wino’s hospital room right now! You will find a bed full of empty ice pop wrappers, a used-up tube of Gorilla Glue and a receipt for a plane ticket to Norway!

Source

Thanks Gill