Hottie is the Reason God Gave Me Life

/ March 28, 2007
 
Hottie is coming back to television and that seriously should be reason enough for you to watch Charm School on Vh1, April 15th. Hottie was always my favorite Flavor of Love ho and I literally would give my first born gallstone to see her win.
 
Click here to see a little introduction to the new world of Hottie. She's living in a mansion in Bel-Air with her dog, Cash. By saying she's "living in the mansion" I'm sure she means she's "cleaning it." Petty details. Lost in the mix.
 
VIA VH1
 
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Remember When She Threatened to Molest a Dog?

/ March 28, 2007
 
Natasha Lyonne has been MIA for the past couple of years. She's been in a bit of trouble with drugs and other things. I think she was homeless at one point. Poor fugly. Well, she showed up at the "Grindhouse" premiere in Los Angeles the other night.
 
I think she's a bloated wreck, because she's off drugs. Yeah, it's not a good look. I'm sure that dog doesn't even want her now.
 
Perhaps we should introduce her to Toby (see below).
 
 
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Is That So Jane?

/ March 28, 2007
 
Jane Magazine founder, Jane Pratt, has admitted to getting lesbo with Drew Barrymore. Saggy vagina galore.
 
She said, "One of my dreams is to return to Howard's show and tell him the truth about Drew Barrymore and me." I guess Howard asked Jane if she had effed another chick and she admitted to it, but wouldn't say who.
 
Jane said, "It was someone famous. I did have sex with Drew Barrymore."
 
Not the mental picture I needed. Does that mean Drew is boinking Cameron Diaz now? Ugh, I can't deal.
 
 
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Toby Was Just Trying to Get a Little Action

/ March 28, 2007
 
Meet America's newest canine sensation, Toby! Toby's owner, Debbie Parkhurst, was home alone last Friday with her two dogs when a chunk of apple got caught in her throat. Debbie tried to give herself the Heimlich and when that didn't work she tried pounding on her own chest.
 
Toby then sprung into action and gently pulled Debbie to the floor. He then performed a version of the Heimlich by jumping up and down on her chest. Eventually, the apple chunk came out.
 
Debbie said, “As soon as I started breathing, he stopped and began licking my face, as if to keep me from passing out."
 
Toby has been contacted by various media outlets from David Letterman to Good Morning America for appearances.
 
Ok, I'm sure Toby is special and all but I want video. We're just going to take Debbie's word for it? Even if it was true, Toby was just trying to romance her ass a little. Look at her hair, he thought it was his girlfriend from high school. She does look like a Golden Retreiver. He was just trying to get a piece.
 
That being said, Toby is today's hero.
 
 
Thanks Emily
 
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