Basically, this dude right here shoved a cell phone up his ass. You see, Jeffrey Barrier was arrested at a tanning salon in Cincinnati for allegedly trying to take pictures of a nekkid woman. 41-year-old Jeffrey stood on a chair to get pictures of the chick. When the fuzz arrived, Jeffrey denied away and said he didn’t have a camera with him.

When the police searched his ass, literally, they found the shitty cell phone camera. Don’t ask me how this sick fuck got the cell phone up his ass. Don’t ask me to demonstrate either. I save fuckery like that for the end of the week. My ass needs a couple of days to recover.

Seriously though, he’s one talented butt fucker. I bet he can text his friends with his sphincter. And screw a mug shot! I want an ass shot! His ass can probably smile and wink for the camera too!

Source: The Smoking Gun

Rod Stewart suckin’ on chichi (NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

James McAvoy’s six pack is real – Just Jared

Spice up your life with Doogie Howser – Towleroad

Beyonce with child – Popsugar

Katherine Heigl’s never-ending bikini vacation – Hollywood Tuna

Brit Brit looking sexy hot in a bikini….not really – Egotastic!

Douche in Paris – Lainey Gossip

Punched by famous hos – Cityrag

Orlando Bloom goes to the beach, bares his ass – Popsugar

Gwen Stefani is forever knocked up – Hollywood Rag

On Sunday’s episode of “The Two Coreys,” both Coreys admitted to being child touched when they were 14 or 15. Corey Feldman told July’s GQ (via Page Six) that it wasn’t the gloved one. He said, “People can say whatever they want, but it wasn’t Michael. He and I have our own issues, but that wasn’t one of them. The guy that did this to me was my assistant. I was still a virgin at the time. I hadn’t even had sex with a girl. So for me it was just kind of bewildering.”

No wonder Jacko is going broke! He has to use his “Thriller” cash to pay off these two meth faces.

Corey went on to say, “It’s something that will be addressed in my inner soul for the rest of my life, and it’s something that truly affects me . . . It’s just like, it happened, it’s over, and move on. Let’s move on to the next subject.”

Yeah, let’s move on. All this talk of child touching and Corey rape is making me uncomfortable. So, here’s a video of Hope the puppy who was born without front legs. It will warm your heart or….make you feel uncomfortable again. Oh well, I tried!

Video VIA Cute Overload

People reports that Heather Locklear has checked herself into a facility in Arizona to treat psychological issues.

Her rep said, “Heather has been dealing with anxiety and depression. She requested an in-depth evaluation of her medication and entered into a medical facility for proper diagnosis and treatment. This is a confidential medical matter and no further statement will be released.”

Heather started taking meds in 2006 after she divorced Richie Sambora. This past March, a friend called 911 because they were afraid Heather was suicidal.

Denise Richards, this is your fault. I blame you.

There’s a soft spot in my charcoal heart for the robot call girl known as Denise Richards, but Heather Locklear is like family to me. Sammy Jo and Amanda Woodward helped raise me and they both taught me what really matters in this world: sex, money and power.

Feel better, Heather! Oh and stay out of the sun! Isn’t it like ten million degrees in Arizona today? And Denise, go bury your head in pig caca!

Kathy Griffin dated billionaire bear Steve Wozniak for a quick minute, but she claims she never did fuckey fuckey times with him. Insane.

She told UsWeekly, “We were dating, but were just friendly. I never fucked him or anything! The truth is. we really were friends the whole time. When we went to the Emmys together, I put on this really huge engagement ring and didn’t tell him. There are these great photos of me posing with this great big fake diamond ring. He didn’t notice! I was like, ‘Oh, by the way at the Emmys, I had on a fake engagement ring!’ And he was like, ‘Oh, that’s very funny.'”

After they broke up in April, Steve quickly became engaged to another snatch. Kathy said she has met Steve’s new piece and “and she’s a thousand times more appropriate!”

Kathy needs a lobotomy and therapy. How the hell are you going to date a billionaire and not get sexy with him? I mean, the dude is made of money! If you suck on his teddy bear dick long enough, money probably comes out. It’s like sucking off an ATM!

AC Slater is just being modest. He can swallow that ice cream pop whole and then extract it out of his muscley ass. The ice cream pop will come out in one piece because AC’s insides are made out of cold, cold ice.

AC gave out M&M ice cream pop in Hollyweird yesterday for whatever reason. Seriously, this cheese dyke has been everywhere lately! I’m sure if you look in your freezer, he’ll be sitting there with a cunty smile on his face. EVERYWHERE!

Screw AC! Why isn’t Miss Bliss getting this kind of attention?