This 35-year-old Aaron Maurice and he was arrested in Appleton, WI last Wednesday after police found him in the basement of a house he was trying to rob. They found Aaron completely covered in barbecue sauce from head to toe.

It all started at around 4 in the morning, when the couple who lived in the house, heard whistling coming from the basement. The male resident grabbed his shotgun and headed to the basement. He found the lights turned on, so he turned them off. That’s when the BBQ lover Aaron asked the man what he was doing.

In addition to the BBQ sauce, Aaron was wearing a chick’s jacket and a dude’s hat. He told the po-po that he broke into the basement, because he’s on the run from the government. He said the BBQ sauce was an “urban disguise.” Crack is whack!

I know what I’m going to be for Halloween. I also hope the police release pictures of Aaron in his BBQ sauce disguise. You know, because if I’m ever on the run from the government, I want to know if BBQ sauce is a good enough disguise.

And yes, I’d hit it. BBQ sauce and all!

Source

This is the cover for Christopher Ciccone’s “explosive” tell-all “Life With My Sister Vadge.” The book comes out next week and is supposed to reveal Vadge’s marriages, her gayelle ways and her drug-taking. A better title would have been “Shit You Already Know About Vadge, But Will Pay $29.95 To Read Again.”

Christopher seriously failed with this cover. A picture of Vadge looking like a sneaky alien? And what’s up with the noodle art? Sorry Chrissy, but this does not get a Photoshop Award.

Also, who thinks Vadge is behind this book too? Vadgemania! And I’m totally falling for it.

Source: The London Blog

In an interview with Complex.com, 49-year-old Foofy Foofy claims he lost his virginity when he was just 6-years-old. Baby jizz! He sort of explains how it went down, but I do not want to know the nasty details! I don’t need the child touching police knocking on my door, so I’m just going to leave it at that! Here’s what he had to say about this bullshit:

Complex: Where did you lose your virginity?
Flavor Flav: Where did I lose my virginity? I lost my virginity in the bushes on a box.

Complex: Really?
Flavor Flav: Yea, in the bushes on a box. A girl and me were having sex on a box in the bushes, in some big tall bushes.

Complex: How uh…when was this?
Flavor Flav: This was when I was real, real, real, real, young.

Complex: Like elementary school? Or middle school?
Flavor Flav: Nah, I’m a tell you the truth; I lost my virginity when I was 6 years old.

Complex: Really?
Flavor Flav: Yea, man. Because you know we learned to have done the nasty back in the days, and me and this girl we experiment, we were experimenting, and my little joint got hard, I penetrated for about a few seconds.

Complex: I respect that. Early start my man.
Flavor Flav: That’s right early start and guess what and I have a great finish right now. [Laughs] Yessir!

Now, I don’t know if that really counts as “losing his virginity,” but it’s still some fucked up shit. When I was six, I was playing with my Barbies in the bushes, not doing sexy sexy times!

Some things should be kept to yourself. Foofy Foofy doing sex at six is one of them, and me playing with Barbies in the bushes is the other.

Yes, this is ANOTHER A-Rod post, but I just had to. As you know, A-Hole’s she-hulk wifey filed for divorce in Miami today. Well, A-Hole has hired Miami lawyer Ira Elegant to represent him. ELEGANT! Dimitri the Lover would approve and is probably jealous as fuck that he can’t afford a lawyer as elegant as Ira Elegant. ELEGANT!

I’ve met the man of my dreams and his name is Ira ELEGANT. Imagine if we married? Michael K. Elegant. And no, I’m not sniffing the freon from the A/C again.

And just for shits, here’s Dimitri’s elegant voicemail again:

JLo and Skeletor’s Dragon Tales Twins, Max and Emme, came out to play in Italy on Saturday. They certainly look like their daddy. They also look like they’ve been hitting the bad stuff. You can’t blame them either. You also know JLo called up Brit Brit for her world famous Purple DRANK recipe. She makes the staff give it to her twins to keep them quiet while she gets her hourly massage.

This is totally like the third time the DT twinsies have seen their mommy! They are like, “Who’s this bitch?”

Dear Lily, it’s time to retire the pink. Even your nippies agree – IDLYITW

It’s bikini season! JLo’s juicy ass is back in one – Egotastic!

Sandra Bullock’s in a bikini too! – Hollywood Tuna

So are “The Hills” whores – Popsugar

Mandy Moore is fucking a UFC fighter – Lainey Gossip

Hulk Hogan kissing a gay – Towleroad

Kylie Minogue still has it – Hollywood Rag

I just want to take Asshole’s overworn headband and shove it down Pete’s throat – Just Jared

Stop if me if you’ve heard this one before – Tara Reid is drunk (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Natasha Richardson and Liam Neeson must share bras – Cityrag