Baby Maddie Had Too Much Purple Drank!

/ July 10, 2008

*Image removed by request of OK! and replace with this cover which you’ve already seen*

Damn! Is Jamie Lynn giving Maddie Briann 100-proof Purple Drank, because baby looks like she’s in another world. I’ll have what she’s having.

Click here to see the pictures from OK! of Jamie Lynn and her new baby.
Let’s just all go out and get knocked up! It’s fun!!

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Diorama!!

/ July 10, 2008

Christie Brinkley left court today showing off her son’s diorama. That shit was used as evidence in her divorce trial against Tiny Cock. I think to prove she’s a good parent or some shit like that. It’s all Tiny Cock should have gotten in the divorce, but Christie’s going to pay him $2.1 million. She gets custody of the kids and will keep all 18 of their Hamptons properties. Blah…blah…blah…

Back to dioramas. Remember when things were so simple? We would spend our days making dioramas for school and eating sand. That was the life. And if you’re still making dioramas for school, then you need to call CPS on your parents’ asses, because you really shouldn’t be reading this mess.

The world would be a much happier place if we just made dioramas all day long.

Here’s more pics of Christie and the diorama leaving court. Just because she’s carrying a school project, doesn’t mean she needs to dress like a fucking 8-year-old school girl.

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The Wedding Of The Year!

/ July 10, 2008

If I ever lose my fucking mind and decide to get married, this is exactly the way I want my wedding to look like. Seriously, I will take this video to the wedding planner and tell them to recreate this classy affair down to the plastic crates and knocked up bridesmaids.

On the Fourth of July, Bubba married Pam in the parking lot of a Waffle House in Dacula, GA off of Highway 316/U.S. Highway 29 interchange. Bubba and Pam both work at the Waffle House. She was able to get the day off, but he had to work the morning shift.

They were surrounded by 30 of their closest friends and family who chain-smoked and drank soda throughout the ceremony. The elegant ambiance was completed by a Hank Williams Jr. song playing from the radio of a nearby SUV.

Pam’s daddy told The Gwinnet Daily Post, “I think it’s pretty redneck myself. But I’m a redneck anyway, so.” Shit, then I must be a redneck too, because this wedding is the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.

There’s seriously too much glamour to comment on, but you HAVE to watch the beautiful picture gallery above set to 98 DegreesSunshine After The Rain.” This is the kind of shit I dream about at night.

If you can’t see the video above, click here to see the pictures.

Thanks L

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Afternoon Crumbs

/ July 10, 2008

She makes it so fucking easyJust Jared

A-Rod is Vadge’s stalker – Lainey Gossip

It’s Squinty Zellweger! – Popsugar

Lauren Conrad can’t even slip a nip right! – Egotastic!

The Greatest Singer in da World” is in a bikini – Hollywood Tuna

Ted Haggard’s hooker won’t be on “Moment of Truth” – Towleroad

Brit Brit and Vadge to be mummified? The joke tells itself – IDLYITW

What the hell kind of GD outfit is Selma Blair wearing? (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather

Posh vs. RuPaulCityrag

CoCo’s demure and sophisticated outfit – Hollywood Rag

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Tom Jones Has A Big One

/ July 10, 2008

Elvira aka Cassandra Peterson confessed to Blender Magazine (via Showbiz) that she lost her virginity to the pepaw raisin known as Tom Jones. Elvira was working as a nudie dancer in Las Vegas when she met and fucked Pepaw Tom. The experience left her in stitches, literally.

Elvira said, “Tom seemed gentlemanly and nice, so when he was jumping on me… I thought, ‘Well, if I’m ever gonna do this, it might as well be with Tom Jones.’ It was painful and horrible.

She said that his dick was so big that she needed to get stitches on the chocha area afterwards. Even though Tom practically ripped her in two, she still wanted to be with him, but found out that he’s a total man whore. She said, “I thought for sure we were gonna run away together and get married. I went backstage to see him the next night, but he was with his two background singers… and was all over them. I was disgusted.

Below is a vintage picture of Pepaw Tom in a speedo. That shit don’t look that big. Maybe he’s a grower not a shower. He probably thinks he’s such a fucking stud after hearing that Elvira story. Give me a quick minute or two with his beef jerky ass. I’d be shouting at him, “That’s it?! Bitch, add a thumb up in there or something!

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Spidey Man Is Kind Of Turning Me On

/ July 10, 2008

Tobey Maguire and his wifey were trying to get out of a parking lot last night, but a group of paps would not let his ass through. Instead of pulling a Brit Brit and running their asses over, the boring piece of boiled broccoli got all angry and screamed, “Get the fuck out of the way! I can’t see! There are cars there motherfucker!” Who knew Tobey had it in him? Totally hot.

Source: Hollywood Bubble – Image: Fame Pictures

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