Parasite is Totally Going to Ruin Christmas

October 23, 2006 / Posted by:

Parasite Hilton’s debut album is a big-ass flop kind of like her bagina. Her record company still thinks it has some chance and will re-release it just in time for Christmas. She will also add an extra-track to entice idiots to buy it again.

Just in time for Christmas, eh? The perfect stocking stuffer! Meaning, one little push and it’s in the fire where it belongs!

Here some pics of Paris doing what she does best at the Jet club in Las Vegas on 10/22. The dude above is her current boyfriend, James Neate and the dude below is that skanky, Criss Angel.

Needless to say, she probably took both in her ass at the same time by the end of the night




Morning Vomit

October 23, 2006 / Posted by:

Here’s the latest video from Meth-Face aka Fergie. The song is a straight-up redo of JJ Fad’sSupersonic“, but I can still feel it a little. The video is nothing that we haven’t seen before and seeing her ass in a bed of candy makes me never want to touch a Mars bar again. Ok, I’m lying..I’m eating one right now.

Furthermore, everytime she says “all the boys want to eat it” I want to eat my own eyeballs out.


“I’m Just Gonna Borrow This African Orphan for a Couple of Days”

October 23, 2006 / Posted by:

The father of David Banda aka Madonna’s latest purchase, is very confused about the whole adoption thing. Yohana Banda didn’t realize that she was taking his son for good; he thought the woman was just borrowing him. You know like one would borrow a cup of sugar.

He said, “Our understanding was that they would educate and take care of our son just as they were doing at the orphanage. I am just realizing now the meaning of adoption.”

This is a completely different statement he made last week. When human rights groups were pissed that Madge was adopting an African boy, he responded, “As David’s father I have no problem (with the adoption), so what is their concern?”

Looks like his ass is having a change of heart and methinks it’s too late.

“If we were told that she wants to take the baby as her own we could not have consented, because I see no reason why I should give away my son.”

Yohana said that he does not want his son to return to the orphanage, so I guess everything will stay as is. When asked to comment young David said,

“Papa don’t preach, I’m in trouble deep.”

Okay, lame.


Birthday Sluts

October 23, 2006 / Posted by:

Ryan Reynolds (30)
Cat Deeley (30)
Brooke Theiss (37)
Weird Al Yankovic (47)
Sam Raimi (47)
Nancy Grace (48)
Dwight Yoakam (50)
Ang Lee (52)

Weird Al: Weird Al! testlink to gallery


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