This post has a few spoilers, so close your eyes and count to 20 if you don’t want to know anything. Or just go and eat your 5th glazed donut of the day.

Wesley confirmed to People that he’s bumping boypussies with fellow “Project Runway” contestant Daniel. There were tons of rumors on the internets that they were dating after both hos changed their MySpace profiles to “in a relationship.” They also listed each other as their “Top Friend.” Damn, MySpace!

Wesley said, “We met on the show. And we tried to keep it very professional on the show because we were both there for our careers, and we didn’t expect this to come out of it. But I’m really happy.” Damn, those sluts worked fast! Wesley was only one the show for like ten minutes. Hey, you can’t deny true love.

They are still together and Wesley said he’s shocked that it’s such a big deal. Blah…blah… What I really want to know is who’s the top and who’s the bottom? They probably don’t even do sexy times. They get off by sewing shit together and watching fashion TV.

Screw these two! I want to know more about the secret romance between Stella and Terri! They are totally doing it. And by “it” I mean nothing.

P.S. – My favorite part of last night’s episode was when Neeeeena Garcia said something like, “Shiny, tight, and short is the quickest way to look cheap.” Cut to Heidi Klum wearing something shiny, tight and short. Cat fight!

In their latest issue, UsWeekly shouts from the mountain tops that Saint Angelina conceived through in vitro. You mean to tell me that she didn’t conceive by simply touching her womb with her holy hand?! I don’t believe it!

A source told the magazine that Brad and Angie were desperate for more kids so they tried fertility treatments. Some doctor who didn’t treat Brangie said, “The chance of having fraternal twins at Angelina’s age (33) naturally is under 1 percent; with in vitro, the chances are 25 percent. We live in an era of reproductive freedom, so anybody can do anything they want within legal limits.”

Angie went with the procedure so she wouldn’t have to deal with the stress of trying to get knocked up. The source went on to say, “She could just knock it out. They were too impatient.” Just knock it out? I bet you Angie used those same words.

Saint Angie is probably always on fertility drugs. You pop a vitamin C in the morning and she pops a fertility pill. Shit, she’s probably pregnant right now….with triplets! The triplets were waiting in the wings while the chosen ones did their thing. In heaven, there’s a huge line of babies waiting for their turn. And you thought the iPhone line was long?

Sienna Miller plays a hippie in her new movie “Hippie Hippie Shake” and she shot a nude scene for it, but there seems to be a little problem. Sienna is like a baby down there and that doesn’t really fit with the whole “free love” 60s vibe. They didn’t want to use a merkin because her chocha would’ve ate it, so they decided to add a coochie bush in post production.

A source told the Mirror, “A merkin or pubic wig simply wouldn’t have done the trick, but luckily computer wizardry came to the rescue. Sienna’s private parts were digitally enhanced, giving her a rather unruly, loud and proud bush.”

I feel sorry for the poor bitch who had to spend hours looking at Sienna’s bare punane. The poor bitch probably got gonorrhea in the eye just from staring at it so long. And yes, you can get gonorrhea in the eye. I know this for a fact……um…..because one of my friends had it……uh huh….

YouTube superstar Tricia Walsh-Smith held a press conference yesterday where she claimed she was getting death threats. Crazy Eyes also declared victory in her divorce court battle. In reality, it wasn’t much of a victory. Crazy Eyes lost. She only received $750,000 and the judge basically told her she was insane. I know, that judge is a hater.

Crazy Eyes claimed victory because she “will not be bullied, coerced or anything.” She said that her ex-husband, Philip Smith, and his company want to destroy her. Her lawyer said, “Just this morning we have received death threats.”

Crazy Eyes will appeal the judge’s decision and said she would stay in the Park Avenue apartment even though she was told to get the hell out. However, Crazy Eyes’ lawyer told The NY Post that she will leave the apartment in a few weeks in return for expedited payment of the $750,000. What the hell? Shouldn’t she have had a pow-wow with her lawyer before this press conference?

Click here to see clips from her press conference. She will not be bullied! Her crazy eyes are out in full force! I swear, she probably sees everything in 3D!

Although Crazy Eyes’ press conference was pretty hot, it pales in comparison to international supermodel Phoebe Price’s press conference in front of the Chanel store. Who knows what happened with that lawsuit? Chanel is probably going to announce the closing of their company soon, because they know they are no match for PP and her legal management team!

Let’s watch this amazing press conference again, shall we? Hopefully, Crazy Eyes is watching and will learn a few things from Chicken Cutlets.

Getting in on the action: Peta isn’t happy with Batman – Mollygood

Jessica Biel is always grouchy – I’m Not Obsessed

Pete Wentz and John Mayer’s gay lunch – A Socialite’s Life

Vadge’s brother disses her again – Vh1 Blog

Megan Fox is annoyed by her sexy title and I’m annoyed by her – ICYDK

Gillian Anderson looking hot at the “X-Files 2” premiere – Popoholic

Michelle Williams is dating Spike Jonze – Celebitchy

It’s Day 3 (or 4) of the Batman Brawl, and now it’s been claimed that the family fight was over cash money. The Sun reports that his mommy and sissy asked for $200,000 to help raise his sissy’s three kiddies. Christian doesn’t have the best relationship with his mommy or sissy, so this came out of nowhere. When Christian turned them down, the two bitches went crazy.

Okay, as I’m writing this up, Kathie Lee Gifford and Hoda are talking about this same story on “Today.” Kathie just said, “She apparently asked for a $200,000 loan. I would throw my mother down the steps if she did that. I’m only kidding!” No, she’s not. And you know her mother is lying in a hospital bed with a broken leg, screaming, “No, she’s not kidding!!!”

Anyway, the fight got even more heated when Christian’s mommy started insulting his wife. His mommy and sissy claimed he pushed and shoved at them. TMZ reports that a few tabloids have offered mommy and sissy a ton of cash for their story. It’s just a matter of time before we see their sad faces on the cover of every tabloid with the headline, “I love my son! Why did he hurt me?”

Christian and his wife attended the Barcelona premiere of “The Dark Knight” last night. They refused to talk to reporters. Is it just me or do they wear practically the same outfits to every premiere? They need to stop fighting with their family and go buy some damn clothes.