Take Out The Trash
Ken Paves is totally telling Jessica Simpson, “You dumb bitch! I was only joking when I said that all the country bitches were wearing trash bags.” At first, I thought Jessica was wearing Stella’s trash bag dress from Project Runway. I know it’s just the pattern of the dress that’s making it look it’s from the Hefty collection, but it’s still fug as hell.
Jessica was out with my girl crush, Ken Paves, in NYC last night. Jessica’s foot claws were also out. Way out. In the last thumbnail, it looks like her toes are about to grab that ciggie. Now that’s talent!
Afternoon Crumbs
Guess the celebrity ass? I see dingles – Cityrag
Disney sluts are annoying – IDLYITW
Shia LaDouche goes digging – Just Jared
Vadge is American? Since when? – Lainey Gossip
John Barrowman heads to L.A. for the gay test – Towleroad
Kim Kardashian’s uselessness is spreading to other countries – Egotastic!
Blasphemy! Jessica Simpson wearing a crucifix – Hollywood Tuna
Mischa Barton wears boots to the beach – Popsugar
Pornstar Chasey Laine is a cracked out mess (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather
50 Cent is suing Taco Bell – Hollywood Rag
There Goes Their Multi-Million Dollar Picture Deal
Ethan Hawke and The Nanny said “fuck it” today by not even trying to cover up their little baby’s face from the paps. Obviously, they’ve decided not to whore out their baby in a magazine. Ethan should have tried to work some kind of deal. He could have gotten a meal voucher from T.G.I. Friday’s or possibly half of a joint. Oh well, maybe next time.
Here’s more of Ethan, The Nanny and 1-week-old Clementine Jane in NYC. She’s precious. It’s a good thing she didn’t inherit her daddy’s greasy meth face. Seriously, he looks like he should be selling me an 8-ball, not carrying around a little baby.
Kathie Lee Wants Crazy Eyes Dead!
Tricia Walsh-Smith made a YouTube video in response to Kathie Lee Gifford’s comments on “Today” yesterday. Crazy Eyes calls her Kathy Lee, I call her Kathie Lee, my mommy calls her Krappy Lee, and you can call her whatever you want.
Anyway, I guess Kathie Lee said that somebody should whack Crazy Eyes. Good luck to anybody who wants to knock her off. She can see you coming from miles away. Crazy Eyes responded, “This morning on national television, Kathy Lee Dee Gifford says that I should be whacked. This from a born-again Christeeeean. This from a woman who has been trying to get a crappy musical she wrote into a Shubert theater.” Kathie Lee better watch it. Crazy Eyes can see what she’s doing every minute of the day. No, she really can.
Crazy Eyes goes on to rant about other shit, but I was too busy asking myself, “What the fuck is she wearing?”
Also, if you’re super bored today, check out her website. It has a bunch of hot shit including her prenup.
Thanks princess
Gross
The “Red Sonja” poster should really feature Rose McGowan licking Robert Rodriguez’s dick, because that’s what she had to do to get this role. Obviously, it wasn’t her amazing acting skills that got her the part.
Robert will produce the remake starring Rose as the woman warrior. It’s coming out next year and it will be whoreiffic. Robert and Rose might as well just shit on a plate and hand it to us, because that’s what this movie is going to be.
Brigitte Nielsen, come fart on Rose for messing with YOUR role.
Take That, Chanel!
Who needs Chanel when you have Gucci? International supermodel, fashion icon and poultry lover, Phoebe Price, showed the paparazzi a dress given to her by the Gucci outlet store of Cabazon, CA Gucci. You know that dress is from Forever 21 and she sewed the Gucci tag on it. I’m joking! Slap me with a wet dildo. I’m sure Mr. Guccio Gucci himself rose from the dead to personally pick out that gown for our beloved “Hot Babe of the Year.”
Chicken Cutlets plans to wear this extremely elegant dress to premiere of “The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor” this Sunday. PP plays one of the mummy extras. I’m joking again! Whip me with anal beads. PP only does serious art-house flicks like “Get Smart.” She doesn’t do superficial crap like The Mummy! She’s a serious actress!