Oh. My. God. I am seriously hyperventilating over these gorgeous pictures of The Empress of Lucite in her royal garb last night! She even wore the official royal ribbon over her exquisite lucite heels.

Just when I think there’s no way she can outdo herself in the “elegant” department, she does. Webster’s dictionary owes it to the world to change the meaning of the word elegant to simply “Shauna Sand.” The word should only be used to describe Shauna and nothing else!

Last night, Shauna took off her royal coochie cutters outside of Foxtail in West Hollywood. Shauna, being the saint that she is, probably decided to do the lovely people of Los Angeles a gift by cleaning up the air with her beautifully scented vagina. Her chocha probably smells like a million Little Tree air fresheners. No, her chocha is like a fucking Febreze factory.

These pictures of Shauna will dance in my dreams tonight. Here’s more of her last night and also getting her nails done earlier in the day. They probably used liquid rubies to paint her nails.

I woke up this morning and my first thought was “I wonder what Katie is wearing on her legs today?” No fucking joke. You know what? This is what Tommy Girl wants! I’m slowly becoming obsessed with her jeans. They are hypnotizing me. If I start craving barley and saying “glib” a lot, then I know I’m doomed.

She totally threw me off today. Black jeans? They look like JcPenney’s version of skinny jeans. Skinny jeans for soccer moms. I’m hoping she’s going to really throw me the fuck out of my chair tomorrow by wearing aqua acid washed overalls. I fucking hope!

Birthday: March 14, 1960
Age: 48
Birth Name: Louise Anne Robey

Original Date of HS of the Day: August 9, 2008
Claim to Fame: Model turned pop star turned actress. She is best known for playing Micki in Friday the 13th: The Series. That shit was her last major role.

Where is she now? She lives in France and makes her living in music, writing songs and producing other bitches. Visit her MySpace to hear some of her music.

Why is she HS of the Week? Because of her amazing video for “One Night in Bangkok.” I posted that shit yesterday, but it deserves an encore. I even had a dream about this avant-garde shit!

Soul legend Isaac Hayes died today at the age of 65. He would have turned 66 in 10 days.

Isaac’s wife found him unconscious next to the treadmill inside of their Memphis home this morning. When paramedics arrived, they tried to revive him and took him to the hospital, where he was pronounced dead at around 2 this afternoon. No foul play is suspected, but a cause of death has not yet been announced.

Isaac has won several Grammys. He also won an Oscar for the theme song to “Shaft.” Isaac was the voice for Chef on “South Park” from 1997 to 2006. Isaac Hayes, who was a Scientologist, left the show because of an episode which made fun of Scientology.

Ugh! Bernie Mac yesterday and now Isaac Hayes today?! Bernie and Isaac did a movie together called “Soul Men” which comes out later this year. Samuel L. Jackson is also in that movie. Get Samuel to the safe house!

This shit too much, seriously. Isaac Hayes will be missed!

Rest in peace, Isaac…..

Source

How long is Brit Brit’s real hair? Does she even have real hair? Maybe she only has two little hairs holding on to her scalp for dear life. The weave whores just superglue My Little Pony’s tail directly onto her head. Shit, maybe her scalp grows fake hair.

I want to know what’s hiding underneath that polyester mess. I bet the secret recipe for Starbucks’ Frapp is tattooed on her head.

That being said, at least the weave looks sort of clean. I don’t see Cheeto bits stuck in it, so she’s doing alright.

Here’s Brit Brit buying more clothes yesterday with her hot bodyguard. He’s wearing too many clothes though. Brit Brit should make him wear a thong made out of Cheetos.

And she’s wearing her son’s names on her necklace, but isn’t it SEAN and not PRESTON? Hey, at least she got one of his names right. You know she really wanted to wear her other necklace with the names Chester and Frapp on it.

Obviously, Balthazar was getting some shit to stop the itching “down there.” Sienna’s used to it. Besides, when the itching gets really bad, her crabs scratch it for her. I zoomed into her bag to see if she was buying a pregnancy test. A secret baby would make this story so much better! Unfortunately, I think she was just buying corn removers…..for her vagina.

Balthazar and Sienna have been flaunting their skankness all around Malibu for the past few days. Even though their relationship is pretty much out in the open, Sienna apparently wants Balthazar’s wifey to publicly admit that her vagina of destruction had nothing to do with the break up of their marriage.

Some source told The News of the World, “Sienna is being portrayed as a femme fatale and fears for her career because Hollywood hates a home wrecker. She hopes Balthazar can get Rosetta to put out a statement saying their marriage was already over. They have already got friends to speak out, saying he was sleeping on their sofas.”

Femme Fatale? More like a mega slut with a shameless chocha! Since when does being a major whore in Hollywood eff up your career? It’s not like this is Seinna’s first time at the homewrecking rodeo! Jude Law anyone?

And the Hollywood machine loves a happy homewrecker. In fact, they worship them. They even give them $14 million for pictures of their chosen ones.