I Give It One Week
Sir Bob Geldof’s daughter and one of the biggest messes of the UK, Peaches Geldof, married some dude in Las Vegas. The Sun reports that 19-year-old Peaches and 23-year-old Max Drummey of the American band Chester French got hitched on either Wednesday or Thursday of last week.
None of their family or friends were around to witness this blessed union. Her spokesbitch issued this statement:
“The couple tied the knot in a simple low-key ceremony in Las Vegas last week, while holidaying in America. Peaches first met Max, 23, a Harvard graduate in anthropology, two years ago. Max’s band, Chester French, played at the ITV iTunes festival, where Peaches was a co-presenter of the show. The acclaimed new Boston band were signed by Pharrell Williams to his label Star Track, a subsidiary of the giant Interscope Label.”
Peaches was reportedly dating Farris Rotter of the band The Horrors. They recently broke up and I guess she celebrated by getting married! And it’s a good thing her spokesperson issued a statement. Peaches probably didn’t even know her new husband went to Harvard! The things you learn about your spouse from a press release!
Peaches recently made news when she apparently overdosed. She later brushed it off and said it was just a “bad experience.” Hmmm….something tells me she’ll say the same thing in a couple of days when she files for annulment.
Wenn
Afternoon Crumbs
What in Stepford hell did Maria Menounos do to her hair? – Hollywood Tuna
Jakey Poo looking like a buff Billy Ray Cyrus – Popsugar
Volleyball asses of the Olympics (site NSFW) – Drunken Stepfather
Ginger Spice looks hot – Lainey Gossip
James Franco just can’t stop talking about kissing Sean Penn – Towleroad
Sunday Roast makes her movie set debut – Just Jared
The Homer Simpson Euro – Cityrag
One of those Disney hos in a bikini – Egotastic!
Is Marisa Tomei wearing exquisite lucite heels?! – IDLYITW
The new Lara Croft – Hollywood Rag
The Spears’ Mating Call
Okay, it’s not their official mating call, but you know it’s fucking close. This is Doris Probst and on Sunday afternoon she became the first woman to ever win The Husband and Hog Calling Contest at the Illinois State Fair. Fucking love her. Congrats!
Thanks Jussi
Wino’s Revenge!!!
Amy Wino is planning to have the last laugh! Although, she doesn’t really laugh. She kinds of cackles. CRACKles!
Even though the producers for “Quantum of Solace” dumped her version of the Bond theme for Alicia Keys and Jack White’s version, Wino will release it anyway. She wants to prove that the producers made a big mistake.
She reportedly told New Magazine (via Gigwise), “I do think they could have waited a bit. If they want a worldwide hit I have them all up here (pointing to her beehive). I guess they are going for clean-cut and boring. When I do release mine – and I am tempted to do it on the same day – this would be the bigger hit.”
Wino does have a few hits in her hive. She has hits of coke, hits of heroin, hits of crack, hits of weed, hits of Jenkem – whatever you want! She’s got the whole drug world in her hive.
And this is never going to happen. She’s just having a “green smoke” moment. You know, when you’re sitting around with your friends, passing the bong and telling them how you plan to climb Mount Everest one day. You don’t mean it. It’s just the good shit talking.
Let’s Try This Again
The last time Brit Brit gave an interview to OK! Magazine, London went caca times all over an expensive dress, and Brit ran off with a bunch of other clothes. That was almost two years ago. Brit Brit decided to try it again. She just finished an exclusive interview with OK! and she was on her best behavior. That’s probably because Daddy Spears sat next to her with a jumbo bag of Cheetos. Get through the interview, get the Cheetos.
MSNBC’s The Scoop reports that the issue will hit stands this week. Brit Brit wasn’t the only one who talked to OK!. Daddy Spears actually opened his mouth and said something. He probably wanted to say “help,” but instead he ended up talking about KFed, Brit Brit’s management and other boring stuff.
Speaking of London, where is that haggard ho?! Instead of talking to boring ass Brit Brit, OK! should have tracked down London! I keep asking about him, because I really want to know. I pray he’s sitting on an island somewhere with a bunch of other bitches, sippin’ Henny and writing his tell-all.
Everything’s Just Wonderful
Hayden Panatroll’s daddy, Alan, was arrested early yesterday morning for allegedly slapping his wife a few times across the face, leaving visible marks. The cops later said booze was a factor in the fight. Alan was released on $50,000 bail yesterday. Alan and Lesley, his wife, were out walking their dogs later in the afternoon like nothing happened. From far away they kind of look like White Oprah and Luke Spencer from General Hospital.
Lesley and Alan talked to Mario Lopez (gross) from Extra and claimed it was all a misunderstanding. Mario said, “Nothing actually happened. In fact, Lesley wasn’t even aware that Skip had been arrested. Hayden found out about her dad’s arrest when he called her from jail. They love each other very much and want everyone to know that the matter was completely blown out of proportion.”
First of all, AC Slater needs to put on a unitard and go prance around in the corner. Second of all, a misunderstanding? I can picture Lesley telling the cops in the morning, “He didn’t actually hit me. I ran into his hand several times.”
Lesley needs to pull up a chair and spend an entire afternoon watching Lifetime movies. I highly recommend “If Someone Had Known” starring Kellie Martin or “Mother, May I Sleep with Danger” starring Tori the Hutt. Lesley needs to learn from their mistakes!