Mattel Collector’s Edition presents: “Barbie Tyra Banks”. “The Wondrous Vulva Puppet” is included. Exchangeable whale suit and removable ego sold separately. – Sofi

Runners-up:

Not to be outdone by BRATZ, Matel has now started to include dress up vaginas to be mixed and matched with their dolls’ outfits. – JolandaRules

Yessir…the Purple Heart Pussy doll has beaten out the Bleeding Virgin Vagina Mary doll this year in total sales. We expect the Pink Vadge Madge doll to go over quite well too. – NovaNightly

Thanks Peaches

Spaghetti Cat! – “The Soup” recently featured a magical clip from Fox’s “The Morning Show with Mike and Juliet.” On the show, they were discussing the dangers of binge drinking when out of nowhere this picture of a surprised cat sitting in front a plate of spaghetti noodles with no sauce came onscreen. They never explained why the picture interrupted the show. They didn’t even mention Spaghetti Cat!

Personally, I think Spaghetti Cat should interrupt all TV shows at least once.

Robert Plant (60)
Demi Lovato (16)
Ben Barnes (27)
Amy Adams (34)
Jonathan Ke Quan (36)
Fred Durst (38)
James Marsters (46)
Joan Allen (52)
Al Roker (54)
Don Stark (54)
Connie Chung (62)
Don King (77)

Tommy Girl in a superhero movie? Unless it’s “Supergirl” and he’s in the title role, I’m not interested. I mean, he has the costume for it and everything.

Instead of following his destiny by playing “Supergirl,” Tommy Girl will star in DC Comics “Sleeper” for Warner Bros. Sam Raimi will produce this mess. Warner Bros. is also hoping to turn it into a franchise. Currently no writer or director is attached to the project.

The Hollywood Reporter has more details on this shit fest:

Written by Ed Brubaker with art by Sean Phillips, “Sleeper,” which ran from 2003-05, centers on an operative whose fusion with an alien artifact makes him impervious to pain and allows him to pass it on to others through skin contact. He is placed undercover in a villainous organization by an intelligence agency and falls for a member of the group, named Miss Misery.

Alien artifact? Are we sure this isn’t called “The Tommy Girl” story? That synopsis sounds like it was ripped from the pages of his future autobiography.

Screw Tommy and his stupid movies! Suri is the one that should be on the silver screen. Look at her in these pictures below. She’s the star of that family!

She’s totally having an intense conversation with that doll. She’s probably interviewing it for the position of her sibling. It’s nice of Katie and Tommy to include Suri in the process.

Holy hell! It’s Devil Pussy! It’s like he was made just for my dark-sided heart. I want to snuggle with him and blow into his four ears while we plot our next evil move together! Unfortunately, the dumb broad who adopted Devil Pussy thinks he looks more like Yoda from “Star Wars.” NOT. Bitch needs to get her eyeballs rotated, because she’s mistaken.

Yoda (aka Devil Pussy) was adopted by a couple from Chicago almost two years. Valerie and Ted Rock were boozing at their local watering hole when they noticed a cage filled with kittens near the bar. The owners brought the lil’ pussies to the bar to find them homes. Brilliant idea! Pass out the innocent kitties to a bunch of drunks! The owners must be crackheads. Wait. Yoda is a crack kitty! That’s why he grew four ears. I love him even more.

Anypussy, Valerie immediately noticed Yoda and his four ears. She said it was love at first purr and they adopted him on the spot.

Their vet said he had never seen anything like Yoda. After examining him, the vet claims Yoda can’t hear out of his extra ears and everything else is much pretty normal.

Valerie is paranoid that someone is going to try and pussynap Yoda, so she always keeps him indoors. Good thinking. You just know that after reading this story, Bernann McKinney put her crazy ass on a Greyhound bus headed for Chicago. I don’t blame her. I want a Yoda pussy of my own! Does he do parties at least?

Image: Fame Pictures

Every so often I notice that Hasbro updates “Clue” and other games by changing the look of a character or even adding new bitches temporarily. Do you remember that slut Miss Peach? She was always my favorite. Well, Hasbro has gone way too far this time. They have pretty much remade “Clue.”

The characters have now been given first names, made younger and their bios have changed. Basically, Hasbro is trying to get kids to buy this shit.

Miss Scarlet is now Kasandra Scarlet, a famous actress and stupid slut. Mr. Green is now Jacob Green, a mysterious and well connected African-American dude. Colonel Mustard is Jack Mustard, a former football playing douche. Professor Plum is Victor Plum, a billionaire video game designer.

Mrs. Peacock is Eleanor Peacock and Mrs. White is Diane White. You just know Diane White is probably an “executive assistant” instead of a maid.

Each character also has some kind of “special power” to help players discover clues faster. Whatever the fuck that means. I hope by “special power,” they mean a bottle of vodka. That’s the only way to get me excited about this fuckery.

The pipe, gun and wrench have been dropped and replaced with a pistol, ax, baseball bat, dumbbell, trophy and poison. Dumbbell?! At least replace that shit with things that make sense. Like Parasite Hilton’s vagina, a car driven by Brit Brit and one of Wino’s crack pipes.

They have also added new rooms including a theater, spa and guest house.

The new shit version goes on sale this Fall. Your ass better run out and get the old one before this shit hits stores.

Source VIA ONTD