New Gayelle Couple Alert!

/ September 2, 2008

Pamela Anderson and Jacko are dating. You’re probably not ready the rest of this, because you just sprayed your Diet Rite all over the monitor. For those of you that are still with me, let’s go on.

Yes, the Daily Mirror claims Pammy and Jacko have always been big fans of each other. So they got their people to set something up. The date took place at the Ice Bar in Hell. No, it took place at Shutters in Santa Monica. The source said they had a few drinks at the bar together. They serve Jesus Juice at Shutters?

A witness who obviously didn’t take their medication that morning said Pam and Jacko talked about their love of plastic surgery. Ha. The witness went on to say, “They were very chatty. Pamela was being her usual flirty self and Michael seemed to be responding. They are such a strange couple but they seemed to really hit it off.

Jacko and Pammy even went out a second time. Another source said they had coffee in Malibu where they talked about their kids.

Methinks these “sources” need to ask their doctor to change the dose on their medication. If Pammy and Jacko went on a date, we would know for sure, because the world would end. The day they touch lips is the day we all disappear in a cloud of smoke.

I mean, maybe these “sources” saw Cher and Alexis Arquette on a date? Now that’s a believable couple!

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Hot Slut Of The Week: Chad Rogers

/ September 2, 2008

Birthday: April 4, 1978
Age: 30
Birth Name: ?

Original Date of HS of the Day: August 30, 2008
Claim to Fame: Superstar real estate agent, star of Bravo’s “Million Dollar Listing” and expert “bowl cut” wearer.

Where is he now? Probably staring at his hair in the mirror

Why is he HS of the Week? I was thisclose to making Chad’s hair “Hot Slut” because it has a life of its own. But his hair doesn’t come up with such amazing lines as “Who’s Dorian Gray?

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He Might Be A McConaughey

/ September 2, 2008

The New York Daily News has found Bristol Palin’s baby daddy! Well, I think they just did a couple of searches on MySpace. They describe 18-year-old Levi Johnston as a “a superhunky bad-boy ice hockey player from cold country.” We get it, the NYDN totally wants to do him.

According to his MySpace page (which is offline now), Levi is just a “fuckin’ redneck” who doesn’t want kids. Levi loves snowboarding, dirt bikes, fishing and “fuckin’ chillin’.” He also loves the word “fuckin‘.” Apparently.

Bristol and Levi have been dating for about a year. They are getting married, because they have to. Gawker has a couple of Levi’s “fuckin'” MySpace photos. And his photos are just what you expected.

The dude’s name is Levi, he’s a proud redneck and he loves chillin’. I think we’ve found Matthew McConaughey’s long-lost secret love child! Put a bongo in front of Levi and if he starts pounding it like there’s no tomorrow, then we know the truth!

That being said, I’d hit it.

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Morning Wood

/ September 2, 2008

Sir, there’s a slick raccoon in your wall. And he loves fancy almonds! – Break

Calum Best is a huge slut and proud of it – Celebitchy

So is Rhys Ifans A Socialite’s Life

Brenda Walsh’s wannabe will not be returning to “90210” – I’m Not Obsessed

Colin Farrell: Homeless man saver – Mollygood

Alex Trebek bloopers! – SOW

Becky Romjin-Lettuce wants to bathe in soy cream cheese – ICYDK

Chris Martin is soooo edgy – Holy Moly!

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Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

/ September 2, 2008

Which morning show gabber needs to get help for her plastic surgery addiction? Her latest cosmetic procedure has left her looking “perfectly porcine” – a look her powerful husband seems to love. (Page Six)

Julie Chen aka The Chenbot?!

Which society type who’s taking a walk on the lesbian side should be more careful with her extracurricular activities? She’s been taping pornos with her new lover “for fun” (Page Six)

Casey Johnson?

Which reality show castoff has been dating a journalist sent out to interview him for a glossy? The pair met over the q-and-a and fell so hard they are apparently moving in together. (Full Disclosure)

Basically, any reality show skank. For the sake of guessing, I’ll say Preston Casanova from the “Greatest American Dog.”

Which gold-winning Olympian has been hooking up with all the male members of her team? They call it riding the train. (Full Disclosure)

Nastia Nastia? I really have no clue, but the answer is my hero of the day.

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R.I.P. Don LaFontaine

/ September 2, 2008

Don LaFontaine, the King of Voiceovers, passed away in Los Angeles on Monday at the age of 68. Don died of complications relating to a collapsed lung.

Don’s magical voice appeared on over 5,000 movie trailers and 350,000 commercials. You’ve totally heard his voice a million times and you totally loved it. Don’s voice introduced the line “In a world...”

Don was also the “Fox Announcer” on the Family Guy. And of course, you can’t forget his GEICO commercial.

Rest in peace, Don LaFontaine!

Image: Wireimage

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