Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ September 3, 2008

Billy Mays – Amazing infomercial salesperson who obviously has a throat made of iron. The dude never stops yelling. You must buy this product, because Billy IS YELLING AT YOU. He must be holding the biggest shit in his ass. Release it, Billy! Below is Billy falling into a bathtub while shooting an OxiClean commercial. Ha. Or should I say “HA!”

For Nina

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A Rojo Caliente Sighting!

/ September 2, 2008

It’s been 2-months since we’ve seen any new pictures of Rojo Caliente. A bright light in my life has been dark for nearly 2 fucking months! The other day, I was in Duane Reade and I kept staring at a “fun size” box of Hot Tamales. I wanted to run away with the box to Home Depot, where it would teach me how to use a power tool or some shit. A box of Hot Tamales isn’t the same as Rojo Caliente, but I’m fucking desperate! Thankfully, a beloved reader named Erin fed my craving with this Rojo sighting:

I saw Rojo Caliente walking hand in hand with her less well known other today. Yeah, its NYC, so no biggie. However, I live in Inwood, all the way in upstate Manhattan, and there they were, walking on Park Terrace West at Isham St., where I live! The funny thing is that all I could think of was, “there is Cynthia Nixon and Rojo Caliente. “ I can’t even remember Rojo’s other name! At any rate, I’m guessing they might be looking to buy a place up here, because it’s very trendy and very lovely. The only other possibility is that there was some kind of event up here in one of the parks.

Don’t ask me how Erin didn’t suffer third degree burns from being that close to Rojo! She didn’t get any pictures, but I’ll take what I can get! And if they’re moving to Inwood, then Park Terrace West here I fucking come!

You know, I should run down to the police station right now. I’m sure Rojo is just pulling up to file a restraining order against me. I can’t help it! I’m addicted to fire and I want to get burned!

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They’re Still Together?!

/ September 2, 2008

Even Cameron Diaz can’t believe she’s had her pizza face on the same dude’s sausage for this long! You can tell by the look in her eyes. I think she’s picturing someone new just to get her through the day. It’s skill #235 in the hardcore slut’s handbook on how to try and be monogamous. Although, I guess if you have to be stuck with a stale sausage, you’d want to be stuck with Paul Sculfor’s.

Here’s Pizza Face and her stale sausage being gross in NYC today.

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Who Is August’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

/ September 2, 2008

It’s that time again! Please take time out from Photoshopping Sarah Palin’s head onto the bodies of various bikini-clad ladies (or dudes) to vote for August’s Hot Slut of the Month! You have four hot sluts to choose from! We’ve got everything from a pussy superstar to a nasty gymnast ! Here are your choices:

Louise Robey – 80s TV actress and star one of the most amazing music videos ever
Nastia Liukin – Ice cold Olympic gold-medalist
Spaghetti Cat – Needs no introduction
Chad Rogers – Real estate agent, reality star and douche-robot with serious hair

Voting is in the right sidebar. The winning hot slut will be announced on Thursday. Happy voting!

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