Attack Of The Clones

/ September 5, 2008

Thanks to reader Daisy who pointed out to me that Cindy McCain sort of looks like my favorite actress Shane Ross. Shane is best known for her thrilling portrayal of Marie (aka snobby salesperson #2) in “Pretty Woman.”

If I ever run into Cindy in the back alley of a pharmacy, I’m going to ask her if she’s got any Percocet on her. Then I’m going to ask her if she knows a good cookie recipe. Finally, I’m going to ask her how much her outfit costs. You know she would look at me with those steel eyes and respond: “It’s verrrrry expensive.” And she wouldn’t be lying.

Reader Jessica thinks Cindy looks more like April from “Big Brother 10.” You be the judge and jury.

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Posh Needs New Hair

/ September 5, 2008

The time has come for Posh Beckham to bid farewell to that guinea pig mop sitting on her alien head. It came, it saw, it conquered. She needs to change it up and do something unexpected. I’m thinking afro puffs or possibly a spiral permed femullet. Now that shit would be hot. I’d even settle for a flat top.

Anyway, good ole’ Posh threw a birthday party for her son Romeo at the Hard Rock Cafe in Universal City yesterday. It’s obvious what her boys are dressed as, but what’s Posh’s costume? White Oprah’s orange clit?

Ginger Spice, Heidi Klum and Gavin Rossdale also showed up to Romeo’s party. Don’t even say Posh and Heidi didn’t dress right for a kid’s birthday party. You would wear the same shit if all you had to do was sit there and boss the nannies around.

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Wax Or Real?

/ September 5, 2008

Maybe Vivica A. Fox had the runs yesterday so she sent out her wax figure in her place. I just want to hold her head and stick a wick on top of it. Vivica just needs to step away already. Getting your face work done at DuPont can’t be healthy.

On a positive note, you can play a serious game of handball off her face and she wouldn’t feel a thing!

Here’s Vivie or her wax figure outside Regis & Kelly in NYC yesterday.

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Morning Wood

/ September 5, 2008

There’s something really queer about this picture. I mean, is that a taco in Gaycrest’s mouth?! – Mollygood

Lance Armstrong sucks in the sack – Celebitchy

Kiki’s thief gets 4 years in jail – I’m Not Obsessed

Hugh Grant is robbing the cradle – ICYDK

Don’t eff with Heart Scandalist

Kim KardASSIAN wants to make a music album. Hopefully her ass is doing the singing – A Socialite’s Life

There’s hope for Amy WinoBest Week Ever

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Phelps Gets Some Ass In Vegas

/ September 5, 2008

The dolphin man visited the Playboy Club in Las Vegas last night and demonstrated his excellent backstroke on one of the resident hos there. Although, in Vegas they call it the “ass stroke.” A couple of minutes after this picture was taken, the chick’s ass turned to solid gold.

Radar managed to get a couple of pictures of Phelps in action last night. They also said he didn’t waste anytime bringing the hos to his side: “It was unreal. Within moments of entering the club he summoned two girls over… I’ve never seen such an aggressive grip.

Phelps has got a fucking Polident grip! Hopefully, if that chick went back to Phelps’ tank, she triple bagged it (2 bags for his dick and 1 for his face). Seriously, I don’t even think a two regular condoms could contain Phelps’ spermies. His little fishies can bust through iron.

And Debbie Phelps would say this young lady was definitely having a “Chico’s kind of day.”

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