Gina Gershon aka Cristal Conners aka my silver screen idol put on a pair of sexy Lens Crafters glasses to play Sarah Palin in a new video for Funny or Die. I thought Tina Fey would make a good Palin, I was wrong! Cristal’s Sarah is almost spot on. Polar bear shit!

If only Cristal randomly threw in one of her amazing lines from “Showgirls.” “You are a whore, darlin’. We all are. We take the cash, we cash the check, we show them what they want to see!” is my all-time favorite. Ugh. Now I have to watch “Showgirls” for the millionth time again tonight.

Wisit from Top Design – He’s the designer with the creepy laugh who also sings opera. Whenever I watch him, I imagine the scary things he’s hid underneath his bed….

Harry Connick Jr. (41)
Ariana Richards (29)
Ben Lee (30)
Ludacris (31)
Elephant Man (33)
Richard Ashcroft (37)
Taraji P. Henson (38)
Moby (43)
Virginia Madsen (47)
Elizabeth Daily (46)
Kristy McNichol (46)
Scott Patterson (50)
Amy Madigan (58)
Brian De Palma (68)

Sienna Miller entered some building in Los Angeles yesterday when the paparazzi swarmed her ass. Instead of ignoring them or even telling them to go fuck a pile of shit, Sienna covered her face and tried to walk through closed elevator doors. Seriously, she sexually violated those elevator doors. Those poor elevator doors have the herp now.

Sienna needs to stop hiding and hold her skank head up high. She should be proud to be a hardcore slut with a bulldozer vagina. The only time us sluts put our heads down is when we’re sucking dick. Or maybe Sienna just had a bad outbreak on her mouth?

In other homewrecky news, TMZ reports that Balthazar Getty’s wife, Rosetta, will not file for divorce. Rosetta thinks she’ll be better off financially if she just sticks with Balthazar’s skeezer ass. Balthazar hasn’t gotten any money from his family’s fortune, but he is doing well thanks to Brothers & Sisters. If they divorce, Rosetta won’t be entitled to any of his future earnings.

And Balthazar’s family feels bad about one of their own leaving Rosetta with four kids to raise, so they are helping her out in the cash department.

Balthazar probably doesn’t mind. If he ever divorces Rosetta, Sienna will probably leave him. Sienna’s motto is: “If you ain’t got no ring, my pussy don’t sing!” Or something like that.

Dumbass on a webcam alert! Diddy has taken time out from his busy schedule of moisturizng the sexy to respond to the claims that he lied about owning a private jet. While watching the video, try not to focus on his eyebrows. I made that mistake and spent most of the time obsessing about how I’d like to pluck his brows clean.

Diddy says in his vblog that his private jet is registered under the name “Ciroc Obama” and he only owns the wing. He really should have included a laugh track in this video, because the only thing I heard after his joke was the sound of my dog wet farting. Now Diddy knows how I feel.

And make sure to watch it until the end. Diddy singing “biiiiittttcheeeeeees,” has put him in the same douche stratosphere as Spencer Pratt.

Brenda Walsh’s stay in Beverly Hills will soon come to an end. EW reports that Brenda will only do the four episodes she originally signed up for. Brenda said she’s the one who chose not to do anymore episodes. Uh huh. She said: “They asked me to do a lot more. I’m in the middle of pitching a show, so I couldn’t commit to more than I did.” Translation: “It’s getting harder and harder for me to not punch Kelly Taylor in her smug peach-face. Many hours of anger management taught me to just walk away.”

And what show is Brenda pitching anyway? If it’s not “The Brenda Walsh Hour Of Spectacular Beat Downs” then I’m not into it. I only like Shannen as Brenda Walsh. Actually, I take that back. She was sort of hot on that disaster called “North Shore.”

Brenda may be leaving, but that homewrecking tramp Kelly Taylor is staying. She signed on to 6 more episodes on top of the 5 she’s already agreed to do. Gross.

With Brenda off the show, what’s the point of watching anymore? Naomi better step up her bitch game or I’m officially deleting this shit from my Tivo “to do” list. And I mean it this time! Sort of. Okay, I don’t.

P.S. – Jim Walsh is totally the father of Kelly’s kid.