Candace Bushnell, the author of “Sex and the City,” is writing a teen novel about Carrie Bradshaw’s filly years. Sex and the Locker Room! Sex and Detention! Sex and Homeroom! You get it.

Candace said: “I’ve always been interested in exploring Carrie’s teenage years. Carrie in high school did not follow the crowd – she led it. It was there that she began observing and commenting on the social scene.”

HarperCollins, the bitches publishing the book, said: “Teenagers are rabid fans of the Sex and the City book and show. I can’t wait to see what happens when Candace turns her sharp eye for social commentary to the other competitive jungle that is high school.”

Teenagers in high school are probably having more sex than me, so I guess this makes sense. Although, I think I liked this idea better when it was called “Square Pegs.” Seriously. That shit was sort of like SATC. Not really, but let’s just pretend for once.

Obviously, Patty Green is Carrie Bradshaw. Muffy Tepperman is Charlotte, LaDonna Fredericks is Miranda and Jennifer DiNuccio is Samantha. And what about Lauren Hutchinson? Well, I guess she’s Stanford.

Source: USWeekly

In the new issue of W Magazine, Josh Brolin tells us exactly what he thinks of his father. You can smell the Tequila dripping off of his words:

“My dad is probably one of the handsomest guys ever. I was making a joke and I said, ‘If I was a chick, I’d fuck you.’ He was like, ‘You can’t say that! Shut your mouth!’”

This is not something I would ever say to one of my parents, but this is a Hollywood family we’re talking about. Imagine the things Papa Joe says to his daughters? Papa Joe’s compliments to his girls probably make Josh’s quote sound like it came directly from a Christian family movie.

I guess dog caca is a big issue in the Israeli city of Petah Tikva, because owners have been asked to take their poochies to their vet, so that DNA samples can be collected and stores. Officials will use the doggy DNA samples to match abandonded dog poop found on the streets. Owners who don’t pick up their pet’s crap will face a fine.

Specially marked caca bins have also been sit up around the city. Owners who continually use bins will win things like doggy toys and food coupons. It’s like a poopy punch card.

If the program works out, the city will make it mandatory for all dog owners to provide them with DNA samples.

The city’s chief vet said: “My goal is to get the residents involved, and tell them that together, we can make our environment clean.”

This isn’t a bad idea. As much as I HATE having to pick up steaming bowel nuggets, I hate it even more when I see that shit on the street. Sometimes when I’m walking on the sidewalk, it feels like I’m playing hopscotch, because I’m trying to avoid stepping on poo.

Cities should also consider doing the same thing with humans. Have you seen some public toilets? Some of them look like the Willy Wonka Chocolate Factory exploded all over them. And the whores responsible for that madness just walk away. That should be a crime. My day has been absolutely ruined from walking in on a porcelain mudslide.

Source

Thanks Sylvia

Nicole Richie apparently packed up her happy little shit, grabbed Sad Clown Baby and moved out of the house she shared with Joel Madden after a some stupid fight. Nicole didn’t exactly move out, because she came back the next day. A source told Star Magazine: “This was her way of sending Joel a message.”

HA! We’ve all done that shit. One time, I had a huge fight with my live-in-boyfriend at the time and I threatened to move out. I knew I had nowhere to go, so I just went around the place packing up all my shit. While stuffing boxes with my crap, I would shout at him, “Fuck this shit! I’m over this. I’m leaving for good this time. You hear me? I said I’m leaving.” He didn’t stop me, so I kept at it. I even went to the kitchen and started packing up dishes. “These fucking dishes are mine! There’s no way I’m going to let your whores eat off the dishes I paid for. I’m through with this shit. I’m LEAVING. L-E-A-V-I-N-G. I’m not coming back! Did you get that?!” At that point I started to panic, because I really didn’t want to have to spend the night in the shelter. I finally said, “You know what! Fuck this. You leave!” He was probably embarrassed for me, because he apologized and asked me to stay. I responded, “I’ll fucking think about it! Let me sleep on it and I’ll tell you in the morning!” Ain’t love grand?

Back to Nicole! The fighting didn’t end after Nicole’s walkout. A few days later the two traveled to NYC for fashion week and fought the whole time. After fighting at some party, Joel ditched Nicole and went back to L.A. At a VMA party, Joel started flirting with Mischa Barton. Wonky McValtrex, who was also the party, took pictures of Joel and Mischa dancing and texted them to Nicole. Nicole immediately accused Joel of cheating on her with the cellulite wonder and now they are sleeping in separate rooms.

Hmmm….I feel for Nicole and I would shed a tear for her, but I’m too busy not giving a fuck. That’s what she gets for shacking up with a member of Good Charlotte.

Meredith Viera interviewed Lynne Spears on “Today” this morning to talk about her new book “Through the Caca.” Basically, Lynne lives in her own world where she bakes cookies all day long like a good mother and really didn’t do anything wrong when raising her kids.

In the clip above, Lynne talks about how she wasn’t a stage mother. Brit Brit pushed her. When Brit started to become a star, Lynne couldn’t travel with her, because she had to stay at home and raise Jamie Lynne. She compares it to sending your kids to college. She said: “You don’t really know what they’re doing in college … just as Britney set out two years earlier to be a star.”

She said it was all roses and cupcakes at first, but then it all turned when Brit Brit started to lose it. Lynne said she wasn’t ready for that. Obviously, she wasn’t. That’s why she turned around and walked away. Instead of helping out her crazy daughter, she wrote this shit book!

Lynne can’t fool me with her soft, Southern voice. Bullshit is still pouring out of her mouth.

And in the clip below, Lynne talks about how she was shocked to learn about Jamie Lynn’s pregnancy. I guess she didn’t get the hint when she heard her daughter doing sexy times in the next room.

Lynne found out when Jamie Lynn gave her a note that said she was pregnant. The note totally said: “Dear Ma, I done and got knocked up! Oh wells! Kisses and Possums, Jamie Lynn.”

After Lynne read the note, she noticed that Casey’s feet were on the table (ok?) and that he wasn’t looking at her. That’s when she broke down and cried. Yeah, cried tears of joy at the thought of all the millions she was going to make off of this pregnancy!

Broadway is about to get a little less gayer. Xanadu is closing!! – Playbill

Dane Cook is looking like hell – I’m Not Obsessed

Jude Law has more hair on his chest than on his head – ICYDK

Leonardo DiCaprio might be single – A Socialite’s Life

Ty Ty looking like an alien mannequin in V Magazine – Mollygood

David Gest had plastic surgery and he still looks like that?! – Celebitchy

Sienna Miller’s biggest fan doesn’t like the fact that she’s a shameless slut – Holy Moly!