Jenna Jameson has confirmed that she’s pregnant with twins. Yawn. Who isn’t knocked up with two babies nowadays? Bitch needed to tell us she was holding 8 babies in there for me to be slightly amused. And yes, she can hold 8 babies in her bony body. They can all chill out in her vagina cave. Shit. We can all chill out in there and play a game of dodgeball while watching the acrobats of Cirque du Soleil perform above us.

Anybigvaggy, Jenna announced the lovely news on her MySpace. Let me sum it up for you:

Yes everyone, I can officially confirm that Tito and I are expecting twins! I had my second ultrasound today and was greeted by two big healthy babies with pounding hearts. I can’t even express the extreme serenity that came over me once I saw my children inside me. It has been my dream to have children for an exremely long time, and I truly feel like finally… the time is right and god has blessed me. I have never felt more like a woman, or more alive.

I have officially gained 7 pounds so far, and am planning on a lot more. I crave fruit by the gallon… ornages and pineapple are at the top of my list. Cereal at 3 am suits me every night!

Is it just me or did you feel like you needed a hot bath in bleach after reading that? It might be my gutter tramp mind.

Congrats to Porn Mommy and Baby Huey! If she doesn’t name them Dildo and Ducky, I’m going to be very disappointed.

I always knew the radio show Loveline was like a bit cup of truth serum! Dr. Drew always makes bitches cum clean. Although, he wasn’t there when SamRo called in, but that doesn’t matter! He was there in spirit!

SamRo called into the show to talk to Stryker about the Travis Barker and DJ AM plane crash. They chat for a while and then SamRo’s hands the phone over to her partner in pussy HoHan.

They talk for a bit and then Stryker asks her: “Now, you and Samantha have been going out for how long now? Two years? One year? Five months? Two months?” HoHan kind of laughs and then says: “A very long time.” Stryker tells her that they make a lovely couple and HoHan thanks him.

Slap me twice with a strap-on and feed me a dental dam! I am SHOCKED! I thought they were just girlfriends who went shopping and talked about boys together? You mean to tell me that they are giving each other moustaches and squirting in each other’s faces?! You know SamRo is a squirter. Her facial expressions tell me this.

On a serious note, I kind of like the fact that SamRo and HoHan aren’t shouting from the roof top of Home Depot that they are bumping pussies. It is more than obvious that they are lezzzzzzbian loooovers, but at least they aren’t announcing it on the cover of a magazine. Right? Oh, what am I saying? They are still attention whores! White Oprah must be crying fake tan tears at the thought of how much money she’s losing from her daughter not coming out on the cover of a magazine for millions of dollars!

And I can’t wait what Michael Lohan is going to say about this. Expect the words “Jesus,” “Hell,” “blasphemy,” and “degenerates” to be used at least three times each in his statement.

Below is the clip of SamRo and HoHan being lesbionic on the radio. Skip to around the 6:40 mark.

Thomas Dörflein, the man known as Knut’s main caretaker, was found dead in his apartment in Berlin. He was 44 years old and the father of three children.

The police don’t believe foul play was involved. The Berlin Zoo said Thomas was still employed with them and he was sick for a long time.

Thomas became a familiar face at the Berlin Zoo when he had to step in as Knut the polar bear’s mommy when Knut’s slut mother turned her skanky back on her son. Knut became an overnight sensation because he was the first polar bear to survive infancy for more than 30 years. Thomas also garnered his own legion of fans because he was seen with Knut almost every day. He also became known as some sort of unlikely sex symbol.

When Knut got older, the zoo decided that it was time for Thomas to say goodbye. They felt it was too dangerous for Thomas to be around Knut now that he was bigger. They had a final farewell last November.

Rest in peace, Thomas Dörflein! I will sing the Knut Song for you this morning. Clip below:

Source

The last thing in this world I need to see is a Wilford Brimley sex tape. – ISprainedMyUvula

Runners-up:

Dude I thought Abercrombie & Fitch’s catalogs were suggestive, but Wet Seal definitely showed ’em how it’s done. – gretwards

Helen didn’t want to be known for her camel-toe or moose-knuckles, she wanted all the world to know her for her walrus-lips. – krianne1007

Source

Christina Hendricks – Joan Holloway on “Mad Men” – No, I don’t watch MM, but I’ve Netflixed the first version. So I’ll get to it as soon as I finish this delicious pancake sandwich. Oh and Joan has a stunning rack and that counts for everything in life!

For Caryn

Julio Iglesias (65)
Paris Bennett (20)
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Erik-Michael Estrada (29)
Rachael Yamagata (30)
Kip Pardue (32)
Jermaine Dupri (36)
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Ani DiFranco (38)
Chi McBride (47)
Elizabeth Peña (47)
Jason Carter (48)
Elizabeth Pena (49)
Jason Alexander (49)
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George C. Wolfe (54)
Bruce Springsteen (59)
Mary Kay Place (61)
John Woo (62)
Tom Lester (70)
Mickey Rooney (88)