Woomanizah!!!

/ September 26, 2008

Brit Brit’s new song “Womanizer” is here. I know. Couldn’t you just poop? I’m sure you’ve already listened to it 10,000 times, made it your ring tone, choreographed your own dance to it and learned how to play it on your kazoo.

I’m not really addicted to this shit, but I think that’s just my subconscious preparing me for the millions upon millions of times I’m going to be forced to listen to this song. I’m going to hear it blasting from a Toyota Tercel while I walk down the street. I’m going to hear it when I’m buying laxatives at Rite-Aid. EVERYWHERE.

While listening to the song, picture Brit Brit dancing around with Chester Cheetah like Paula Abdul and MC Skat Kat. I can totally imagine Brit Brit chasing Chester around, catching him “womanizing” on her with the Utz Girl and Little Debbie. Those two are SLUTS. “Don’t you be woominizin’ on me, Chestah!

Click here if you can’t listen to the shit above

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The CAPTION THIS Contest WINNER For September 25th!

/ September 26, 2008

Someone should really let Jenna Jameson know that Baby Huey Jr. is sliding out again… – EmilyFate

Runners-up:

You can only imagine the horror Larry felt when he pulled the short straw at work at the elephant pen on Colonoscopy Day. – Madam S.

Huh. Here’s yet another thing BLAAAKKKEEE prefers to do, rather than leave prison early. – WTFOMGLOL

Thanks Rose

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Hot Slut Of The Day!

/ September 26, 2008

Punk Rock Turtle from Australia! This hot slut was found swimming in the Mary River with a green mohawk on his turtle head. It’s actually just algae, but he’s still the baddest bitch in Australia. I bet you this is what Brit’s head looks like without the weave.

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Birthday Sluts

/ September 26, 2008

Olivia Newton-John (60)
Serena Williams (27)
Christina Milian (27)
Jake Paltrow (33)
Sheri Moon (38)
James Caviezel (40)
Ben Shenkman (40)
Jillian Barberie (42)
Nicki French (44)
Melissa Sue Anderson (46)
Cindy Herron (47)
Linda Hamilton (52)
Bryan Ferry (63)
Anne Robinson (64)
Jerry Weintraub (71)
Donna Douglas (75)

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Suri Needs A New Doll

/ September 25, 2008

I get that kids get attached to certain toys, dolls and other shit. When I was a kid, I had this Cabbage Patch doll who would never leave my side. Over the years, the doll became dirtier and dirtier. His yarn hair fell out and he probably had snot and drool on every inch of his plastic body. If you put my doll under a microscope, you could probably witness a germ orgy. My mom would always try and get rid of it, but I’d scream and cry if it never left my side. Okay, I wasn’t a kid. I was 20. And yes, it still sleeps with me.

Back to Suri. There may be a reason why she’s so in love with that busted doll. Star Magazine reports that Suri doesn’t have any little friends, because Tommy Girl and Katie keep her away from other children. A source said that Katie takes Suri to play at a gym…by herself! The source said: “Suri takes a private class in a room in the back of the gym. I have never seen her play with any of the other kids.” The source also said that when Suri is around other kids, she doesn’t know how to play and she doesn’t like share. What kid does?

Okay, that’s fine and everything, but can’t they get her a prettier doll? That doll needs a Glamour Shots makeover. And while the doll is at it, it should drag Stepford Katie with it. Homebot is starting to look like Shelley Duvall towards the end of “The Shining.

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Gayken Is Kind Of Likeable…..

/ September 25, 2008

Clay Gayken looks like a 40-something gayelle with an extensive collection of holiday sweaters and ceramic ducks, but he’s kind of likeable. Gayken gave an interview to Diane Sawyer (who talks like she’s on ludes and wine) about the whole gay thing. The singing at the beginning made my ears twitch, but I wasn’t completely annoyed with the rest of the interview. I would never EVER hit it, but I’d share a big dick with him. FUCK. I swear, I’m not turning into a Claymate! NO.

If you ever see a post on here with the title “Yes, I’m a Claymate,” immediately throw my ass into the crazy house before I completely become a mom jeans wearing maniac!

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