Tara from the back: Um…errr….well add some fruit and she’d make a delicious and nutritious after dinner treat!
I haven’t seen Liv Tyler for a while. For a moment there she was a lard ass, but she seems to have slimmed down. She looked hot as she did some shopping over the weekend. You know it’s a terrible news day when you’re writing about this bore. On that note I’m gonna go get drunk and drown in my own nose spit.
Damn! Scary Spice aka Mel B is that hard up to get Eddie Murphy back? According to sources she has sought the advice of a witch doctor to her get back Eddie Murphy. Eddie famously dumped Mel B during an interview with a Dutch reporter in which he denied that he was her baby daddy. She is paying a witch doctor named Tabitha to perform a series of spells to bring Eddie back to her loving arms.
A friend of Scary’s said, “She was heartbroken when they split and was prepared to try anything to win Eddie back. She’d heard about the powers witch doctors have and when everything else failed she knew it was her only hope.”
One of the spells called for Mel B to piss in an olive jar. Dirty slag! You know she drank it afterward. This story is probably fake, but I pray to the heavens above that it’s true. There’s nothing I love more than some crazy wack using vodoo to get her man back. She’s also probably playing “Party All the Time” over and over again while jacking off with one of his pubic hairs.
Fat Elvis aka Brandon Davis in Maui on 12/24
A Beckhams Christmas – Just Jared
Nicolette Sheridan in a hat not even my fat, slow cousin would wear – ASL
Another publicist runs screaming from Britney Spears – Egotastic!
Tranny McGuyver! – Pobytes
Vince Vaughn is meaty – Popsugar
Hilary Duff in plastic – Hollywood Rag
Even the wind doesn’t want to see Blohan’s vagina anymore – IDLYITW
You better believe Maddox is the best celebrity kid – Cityrag
Is it too soon for a Steve Irwin doll? – SOW
Nicole Richie’s pretending to eat again! – INO
Jessica Biel in a bikini for your viewing pleasure – Hollywood Tuna
Dean McDermott and Tori Spelling spent the holidays in Dean’s native Canada. The couple are expecting a fug baby this Spring and were married this past May. Dean decided to propose to Tori again this past Christmas. Dean took Tori to a special spot (probably the 99 cent store) and popped the question.
Tori told People Magazine, “I immediately started crying and said ‘Yes! Again and again and again!’ What made it so special was the notion that a year ago when he proposed, the thought of having a baby together was just in our hearts, and now our baby boy that we created from our love is nestled in my belly.”
She probably laid a huge fart after that. I know that some might find this romantic, but I just find it stupid. He was probably hoping she would say no, thinking that would make their marriage null and void. Unfortunately, her hatchet lips said yes.